Come dance with the Wanderers... Circulation: 195,233,500 Issue: 834 | 13th day of Swimming, Y20
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Why Gelerts are the best!

by dtrg



     (this article might be totally biased, read at you own risk)

     Well, hello Neopia, Addicted29 here, aka, your favourite Gelert of all ! As the most (self-proclaimed -note from owner-) fabulous Gelert, I am here to tell you how about WE (and by that I mean ME) are the very best, and why you should own one ! (or several, you do you)

     1. Our ears are super fashionable !

     I mean out of all the specie we are obviously the ones with the best ears ! Do Kiko have ears ? I don't think so ! That means we can look fabulous all the time and be bold with our ear style. Have you seen how gorgeous the Royalgirl Gelerts are ? Truly a fashion statement to put your ears into your hat like that. And for those wondering, no it doesn't hurts, our ears are very flexible.

     2. I'm a Gelert !

     Truly should be reason number one, but I'm trying to stay a bit modest here. Why should I even continue this list, the best point has been made already !

     3. We hate Unis !

     It's true ! Why ? Because they're vain and selfish ! Who would love someone like THAT ?! "Stop giving me that look Jyuukun, I see you !! " How do I know they're like that you might ask ? Well it says so on our default page, that's what my owner said. (No idea what she's rambling about tho)

     4. We're loyal !

     Well, in general at least. Because, I wouldn't hesitate, even for a second, to save myself first and all so I don't know how much of this is true. I guess when you see someone like SilverBaron it checks out, but who would want to be pals with an annoying cheery guy like him who'd got to the end of Neopia to rescue you ?? Pay me and I might do that. Maybe. It's classified.

     5. We're number 10th on the popular specie list.

     Why are we not first is something that I do not understand ? I'm gonna complain about this !! I have seen more Gelerts in my life than I've seen Shoyrus so there's something I'm missing here. And lupes are before us ? Seriously ? Those wolf wannabes ? Because they look cool doesn't mean they get to get a bigger piece of the spotlight ! I used to be a Lupe ya know ?

     6. We're brave !

     Not only are we loyal, but we're also brave, everyone knows that ! Apparently, we also favour friendship above all else but who does that ? That sounds so cheesy and we're not in a cartoon or something.

     7. Lots of cool famous Gelert around !

     I'm obviously the most famous of all so I'm not gonna talk about me, though, I'm sure you guys were reading this article just for that aha ! The most famous of all is probably that tall thief guy, Kanji ? Kanda ? Kendrik ? Kentucky ? Whatever his name is, you know who I'm talking about ! There's also this poor guy from where I live, Bruno is his name I believe ? Poor guy, if he had had some confidence from the start, he would have noticed he was perfect the way he was and didn't need no potion from that Krawk weirdo ! Now look at him tss tss. Would have never happen to ME. There's also that guy Tandrak, who plays Yooyuball or something, not much a sport fan so I couldn't care less about that guy. I'd be more interested if Neovia had a team though. I play in the unofficial team you know ?

     8. We're fashion icons !

     Even though I'm the most fashionable of all, I know when a fellow Gelert is a fashion icon or shows potential. Do you know about Sandro ? Now that's a Gelert who knows a thing or two about fashion ! If his name doesn't ring a bell, you may have heard of him under the Smug Philosopher alias. Now let's take a closer look. Great outfit in general not bold or anything but classy enough. Nice red scarf as accessory, totally approve of that. Not much fan of blue for the vest but it goes well with his colours so it's alright I guess. Not everybody (except you know, ME) is 100% perfect. But the best of all, look at that hair, that shape, that style, that colour, definitely a true icon right there !! Definitely a DO ! What are you even waiting for, go run and see your hair stylist !

     9. Stealthy Gelerts are the coolest around !

     Totally unbiased opinion here, but let's be honest, on its own, stealthy is a fantastic colour, but when it's on us ? Y'all can go home because we clearly win this thing ! Fancy white hair hidden under a cowl that gives us this mysterious look. A stunning top that fits our slick bodies nicely, fancy pants that can look great with any other outfits. Fancy wraps to wrap your fancy tail and your fancy ears, fashionable AND deadly. As a side note, those are really helpful to cook too ! I'm not responsible if you hurt yourself while attempting to cook with those, just so you know. (Don't forget to clean them, a fashion icon doesn't walk around with sticky stuff on them)

     10. Darigan Gelerts sucks !!!

     Another totally unbiased opinion because I take this secondary lame job as a journalist very seriously, but can we all agree that Darigan Gelerts are the worst ?? They think they're big shots with their fancy hair, their huge claws, and those cool wings eh ? Guess what, they're not !! They're the lamest of lamest and..." Wait a minute, did I heard you two were talking about shaving my precious head ? Baron, do you job and arrest both Jyuukun and Geswary !"

     And, you can't trust them, as shown above, my precious hair, how dare they ! I don't even get how they're so popular, even that Tandrak guy has such an important fanbase, it's scary. (Join mine instead !)

     11. We're good fighters.

     It's true, we're generally fast and have very strong legs. We might not have the stamina of unis who can run easily on long distance but if it's for a quick and fast attack, we're clearly the ones you need. We can also slap our opponent with our ears and tell you what, it hurts ! Also, we have this super duper useful item that only us can use : Gelert Healing Remedy. Did you know this potion can heal 50% of your Gelert health points ? The best part ? It's relatively cheap, so if you're on a tight budget, it's a nice investment for your Gelert friend.

     Last Word

     I'm not used to write this much, why did I even agreed on taking this job, I'm too beautiful for this !? Anyway, that's all I could think of so far. Maybe I'm wrong (though I doubt it) on my opinions, but choosing a Gelert as a companion is the certitude that you'll never be bored again ! We're full of energy, fashionable, fancy looking and generally amazing. A choice you'll never regret ! We also plenty of fashionable clothing set available. Like the Luxurious Gelert set, you're sure to be the shining star or the ball with that hairdo and that fur scarf.

     PS : If you ever meet that creepy krawk like Bruno, do not fall for his trap. You're a shining star just like you are ! (Not as bright as me obviously, don't kid yourself tho ahaha)

     PSS : If you want to hear about my infinite wisdom about other subjects, don't hesitate to contact me with your questions, who knows.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Return to Neo #05
So that's what you've been doing with all our money...

by cami_v27


Map of Neopia
There's a few places I haven't been.

by feeshifeeshi


15 Awesome Neopoint Backgrounds For Summer
Does summer get any better than this?

by carrieantonia


Forgotten Hunger
but wait...

by piratesy

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.