The White Weewoo Experiment

    "Come, come, right this way," a frenzied Kookith says to me as we scuttle down the long hallway. As they move they can hear the sound of steel smashing against steel, a low buzzing noise permeates the air and keeps the rhythm of the place, while the windows lining the walls occasionally flash brightly in a harsh yellow light. "This is your new office! Great to have you as part of the team, Ainsley."

    Ainsley, a Tyrannian painted Doglefox, is starting her first day working in the Petpet Laboratory. Her owner, a kind yellow Acara named Aphsy is one of Neopia's top scientists and worked hard to pass on the knowledge to her Petpet. Ainsley is a master of engineering and is well suited for this line of work, and took the position upon the recommendation of a friend.

    The frenzied Kookith, the owner of the Petpet Laboratory, sits down across from Ainsley.

    "I am so glad we were able to come to an agreement on your terms of employment, as I said it is great to have you as part of the team. Now, as for your exact responsibilities..." the Kookith's face turned slightly more intense. "Most of the scientists here are working on something we call the, "Pile of Soot Problem". As you may have heard, many Petpets go underneath the ray and return as a Pile of Soot, much to the dismay of their owners. Unfortunately this problem has become so prominent we've had to allocate most of our resources to solving it, leading us to draw attention away from other opportunities."

    Ainsley nods along, nervous with excitement for her new position. She's spent countless hours studying the mechanics of machinery, learning how to code robots and repair everything from microwaves to factory line equipment. She was even credited as the main engineer after a massive malfunction in Plushie Tycoon caused all the toys to come out with dozens of eyes.

    "That's where you come in," the Kookith continued explaining. Ainsley's eyes lit up. "We were recently approached by a new client, someone who wants to use our equipment and expertise to grow their business: The Neopian Times. As you know, the Neopian Times is the top news publication in our world, reaching millions of eyes every week. They curate content from the best writers in Neopia and spread it far and wide. The 800th issue is here, a major milestone for them, and they want to do something BIG for the release."

    The Kookith scientist adjusts his jacket a bit, a smile on his face. "We're going to use our lab rays to create eight HUNDRED White Weewoos that will release to the skies and drop the much anticipated issue into the hands of Neopians everywhere."

    Ainsley's eyes grew wide and butterflies surged in her stomach, she was amazed.

    "That sounds incredible! I think everyone will love that, what a terrific idea!" Ainsley exclaimed.

    "Perfect, I'm glad you are so eager. You'll begin work immediately on programming our ray to zap Petpets into White Weewoos." The Kookith smiled at the Doglefox and turned to leave.

    "Wait," Ainsley interrupted. "One question...What is the deadline for this project? Six months or so?"

    The Kookith smiled.

    "You have until the end of tomorrow," the Kookith walked out and closed the door behind him.

    A sense of panic washed over Ainsley, her matted fur suddenly became very hot on her skin. This was her FIRST day in the lab and she was given an assignment this big? The other scientists can't even figure out how to keep the Laboratory Ray from turning Petpets to soot and she is supposed to make it fire off nothing but White Weewoos?!

    How...how am I supposed to do this... Ainsley thought to herself. I just have to figure it out. I'm smart, I'm qualified..sure the deadline is significantly sooner than I would imagine but...I have to do what I have to do.

    And so she got to work. The first thing she thought might help is firing up the computer and taking a look at the script, maybe somewhere in there she'd find a random number generator that was in control of selecting which Petpet was chosen. Surely it couldn't be that easy, but there was no harm in trying! So she fired up the computer and started digging through codes. What she found, however, was a MESS. Sorting through an endless amount of "elseif" and "echo" and other coding mumbo jumbo, scrolling endlessly for well over an hour, she finally found something that looked like it might be relevant.

    echo(rand() . "PETPET");

    echo(rand() . "SOOT");

    echo(rand(1,783));

    "Aha!" Ainsley said, hopeful.

    This short few lines of code is exactly what she was looking for! It generates a number between 1 and 783, with 783 being the total number of Petpets in the world. If Ainsley can just find which number corresponds to the White Weewoo then it should be an easy fix, and while she's in there she can take out the number for the Pile Of Soot! But wait...

    Ainsley scrolled down a little further and saw something suspicious. Underneath the generator began the list of Petpets, but what she saw shocked her...

    if;

    $r = (423 == $v) ? 'Yellow Angelpuss' : 'Yes';

    $r = (424 == $v) ? 'Phnard' : 'Yes';

    $r = (425 == $v) ? 'Dr. Sloth's Minion' : 'Yes';

    $r = (426 == $v) ? 'White Weewoo' : 'Yes';

    Okay, so 426 represents a White Weewoo.. thought Ainsley. But what does 'Dr. Sloth's Minion' mean...Could this crazy Kookith actually be slowly building an army of Petpet slaves for the most evil villain in the world? Or did Dr. Sloth hack into the system himself and try to manipulate the code...but it caused a glitch where Pile Of Soots are created instead...

    The thing about Ainsley is that she is smart, much smarter than a lot of people give her credit for, and smart enough to know what is and isn't her problem.

    I'll just delete this, pretend I never saw it, and never talk about it! She didn't want retaliation in case it was the Kookith who programmed that in, and though she knew that it might make the story of her life a little less interesting she believed that it was worth the risk just to avoid the drama and hassle of having to take out the dark overlord that is Dr. Sloth.

    Ainsley re-wrote the code a bit, changing the random generator to only include number 426, representing the White Weewoo. She called in the Kookith to investigate her work and to bring in a test subject.

    "Here I am, I'm here, ready to be impressed," the Kookith said, toting along a Roburg 3T3. Robot Petpets are the best to experiment on as they are easily rebuilt and don't feel any discomfort under the harsh rays. "Let's do this!"

    Ainsley strapped the Roburg 3T3 into the chair, watching its wild eyes dart around the room she felt a sudden pang of fear. I really, really hope this works... she thought as she stepped back into the other room to safely control the ray.

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZPT ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!

    A bright light shot out, nearly blinding the two Petpet scientists, the sound of the machine firing off causing a brief ringing in their ears. They ducked for cover in case the viewing window shattered and stayed down for a minute or two to let the coast clear. As the rose up, they peered through the glass and saw a faint puff of smoke. As the smoke cleared their jaws dropped...

    A White Weewoo was sitting happily in the chair, chirping and looking right back at them.

    "IT WORKED!" Ainsley shouted with excitement. "WE DID IT!"

    "You did it, wow," the Kookith adjusted his shirt, amazement in his eyes at the young new scientist's amazing work. "Congratulations Ainsley!! This is spectacular!! The 800th Neopian Times issue will be the best one yet!!"

    "I hope so, do you think they'll publish a story about us as a thank you?" Ainsley questioned, wishfully thinking that one day she'll achieve a level of fame for her commitment to science and engineering.

    "We'll have to see, maybe I can put in a good word," the Kookith smiled at the Doglefox and patted her on the back. "I'll see what I can do." The End