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Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Five

by theschizophrenicpunk


Mayor Jurgin: We were waiting for ages to be saved! All of us had been captured — every last one! Those Ixis went mad from those clouds, I tell you. Absolutely mad. They stormed the town, and they kidnapped us all, and they held us all prisoner in the volcanic region beneath the cliffs. We were doomed!

What? Well... well, yes, the heroes did save us...

... But it took forever!

Lady Roberta: Cogham was a little hiccup in our journey, I will say, but it wasn't anything too terribly important...

Mayor Jurgin: A hiccup?! That's what she called us?! What, are we not important like the rest of the stuffy towns around here? We are just as important as anyone else! Why does everyone treat us like a second-hand civilisation?!

Lady Roberta: If you ask me, I think that if those Cogham folks didn't want to be pestered by the Raiders, they shouldn't have built their camp beneath the base of the Ixis' sacred land. My uncle has told me about the history of that area, of course, since I love learning just as much as he does, so I know a decent amount about the history of the Steppe Plateau. Like, did you know that the Ixis have lived there for thousands of years, and that Cogham has only been there for a few dozen?

Mayor Jurgin: I mean... yes, that... that is true, but...

... Listen, are you sure you don't want to hear my reasons why the Ixis should be glad about us being there?

Lady Roberta: (she sighs) Moving on...

Our next stop was Illusen's Glade... again... but this time, not only did we have the charm, we also had a way to get up into the canopy since the assassin had taken down the lift.

The Assassin: Annoying...

Lady Roberta: Tormund had that desperation about him again when he got into Illusen's treetop home. In fact, at first, it was as if he was... looking for something — or someone — when he got up there. He was... searching. He kept muttering, "What happened to him?” or something like that...

I remember asking him what he was looking for — or, uh, who he was looking for — but he wouldn't say. He kept telling me not to mind, and it didn't matter, and it would be fine, but... once we got to that ring that leads to Illusen's chambers, a bit of his hope seemed to die. It was... really quite odd. I still don't know what that was about. I haven't asked him about it since. I've been worried to, not wanting to upset him, you know? That would have been my worst fear — upsetting him.

But I guess that doesn't really matter...

Anyway, that was when we finally faced off with the Gelert Assassin, face-to-face, no more tricks — up there in the canopies. After all that time of him and Tormund threatening each other and half-fighting, with the assassin egging him on and Tor just trying his best to defeat him... that was where it all went down.

Man, it was an incredible battle. I tried to help as best as I could, but... the assassin was a more skilled magic user than I was. Like, I know attack and shield spells, of course, but he could deflect my attacks back at me, and he could teleport, and he knew spells of swiftness, and spells to make apparition clones, and even sent these weird, dark shockwaves across the ground that stunned us until we were paralysed, just like sitting Mallards. That combined with his swordsmanship skills...

The Assassin: What, you think I'm an amateur? You think I don't know my way with spells? I take pride in my magical prowess, thank you very much; and, quite frankly, I'm offended.

Lady Roberta: But Tormund wouldn't give up. No matter how many times he was struck, or paralysed, or disoriented, or anything, he just... fought on. Even with that bit of hope he had lost, and even though the sparkle in his eyes had dulled ever so slightly, his needing to save Illusen — to save the world — it... it drove him. It really did. He landed one good hit on that Gelert's right flank, and then I knew it wouldn't take much longer before he was defeated. And I was right. Tor defeated him.

The Assassin: (he snorts angrily) I wasn't defeated, I, er... (he twirls his hand in the air) I respectfully conceded the battle to them. No use in wasting my time with the dirty work of some faerie who was no doubt going to be defeated sooner or later. And I knew she was — knew it from the beginning, even.

(he sighs) I... I suppose I must admit... it was impressive. Sir Tormund wasn't by any means the first knight I had been contracted to kill, but... he was the first who fought so adamantly, and he was the first I was forced to surrend— er, I mean, concede to.


(he sighs) I suppose a part of me knew from the start that their contract wasn't going to be like any of the others. The simple fact that someone with such obvious power like the Darkest Faerie needed assistance was the first sign, and the fact that they were children was some strange sort of sign as well. Seeing as they weren't affected by the sickness of the realms, well...

(he shrugs) I gave them a run for their money, and that's good enough for me. I mean, they took down several of the greatest villains of the realm, and the evillest faerie the world has ever known. Me being able to cause so much trouble for them for a while is more than enough of a prize. Plus, I got to keep that faerie's generous pay...

All's well that ends well, wouldn't you say?

Lady Roberta: He didn't bother us after Tormund and I defeated him, thank goodness. I wonder what he went off and did afterwards...

Eh, who cares.

Anyway, Illusen had been freed, and she unblocked the path to Meridell, but we still had one more stop to make before seeing to the castle, and that was Market Town.

It was... not the worst, actually. The problem I had with it was that we were running low on equipment, and the townsfolk had raised the prices for their goods tenfold. That's what the clouds did to them — made them greedy. It was awful... but we made it through just fine, thank goodness, even with our rations running low.

The battle with the Black Knight, that was all mine. (she giggles) Tor's sword couldn't pierce the Black Knight's armour, but my spells got right under all that and snuffed the darkness within. I was very proud — and I think I have the right to be, if I do say so myself. The Black Knight was defeated, the clouds dispersed, and the town rewarded us by giving us the city's great treasure. Good thing, too, because we never would have made it into Meridell castle without it.

So off we went to...


Actually, no. Tor insisted on doing a few more things while we were in Market Town first...

Prince Tourin: I had asked for dearest love's hand in marriage, and my heart cried out for joy when she did say yes — oh, joyous day, she did! But alas, my happiness was not to last, for I was spurned by her parents, who insisted she not wed me 'til I proved myself to be of royal blood. Oh, how I cursed the day that I was torn from my love, as the only way to prove my heritage was locked away — trapped away! — in the rubble of my family's crypts. Such dangerous caverns, such treacherous routes, such horrible beasts within those walls — it's madness! Yes, and my heart ached, for I worried there was no hope...

But lo, then approached the hero Tor!

I informed him of my plight once more, and he, the brave hero, he took off swift as the wind, off to save my heart from another cruel fate! So courageous was he, so vigilant, so brave! And I knew — yes, I knew — he could never let me down!

Lady Roberta: The Rathbone family's crypts... that was a very interesting little side-adventure we went on, because I got to see a side of Tor I hadn't really seen until then. Because...

Well, you know how I said that Tor absolutely despised that assassin that was after us? Well, there was this... book, in the crypts — like, like somebody's journal, or something. It talked about him. It told his story. See, we were asked by Prince Tourin to find a book on his family lineage, and I happened to find this journal while we searched. I guess... I guess because the assassin was such a bother to us while we were trying to complete our quest, I never thought about, well... why, you know? Why he did it. I read the journal — read about his... his lost lover, and his heartbreak, and how he turned cold, and... well, I felt bad. I just... that's it, really. I honestly felt sorry for him.

But I wasn't sure what Tor would think, knowing how much he hated that Gelert. That, plus the fact that, until that point, I had seen nothing but how relentless Tor was when he fought against those who had wronged him. I figured that he would say there was no excuse for the assassin's choices, or that he was still a criminal, or that he was deserving of no sympathy, but... no, no, Tor's hatred seemed to... melt away. Partially, at least. All the fury he held, all the wishing for the assassin's capture and demise, just...

I remember waiting for his response, and I remember preparing for a lecture on why I shouldn't feel sorry, but... I'll never forget what he said. He said, "It's a shame that such heartache had to befall anyone. Nobody should have to face that sort of pain."

He said, "Thank you for showing me this. I probably would have kept a grudge had I not known, and that would have been unjust."

He said, "I wish him the best, and I hope he finds happiness again. I forgive him."

The Assassin: He, uh... he said that about me?

... Really?

Well... I guess...

(he crosses his arms) ... I guess that's pretty noble.

I, uh... (he clears his throat)

I wish him the best, too.

Prince Tourin: And lo, through the city gates they came, the heroes, my saviours, my rapture in this cruel, cruel world! They brought with them the seeds of truth that would sprout the flower of my future marriage — yes, my current marriage, how happy and wonderful! Beautiful, radiant, glorious, powerful!

Without the hero Sir Tormund, and without his brave, chivalrous heart, I know not what heartache would have overcome me. Without him, I fear I may have withered and rotted along with the love in my heart. Yes, yes, the brave Sir Tormund, the hero of our time, the bravest knight to walk the land — bless him, bless him, bless him!

Lady Roberta: Our last challenge was getting into the castle... and that was another thing that showed to me how knightly Tormund truly was at heart — that empathetic, forgiving side of him. See, the only way we were able to make it into the treasure vault beneath Meridell Castle was by dealing with the Thieves' Guild. I didn't know this until afterwards, but Tormund had a bit of beef with them from the past, I guess because one of those Meerca brothers had stolen something of his, and he had struggled with them to get it back. Again, I thought maybe he wouldn't be forgiving, or would refuse to work with the thieves, but he put his own worry aside for the sake of the kingdom, and the world. That's something I really admire about Tor: his selflessness. He will always put the needs of others before his, even if it puts him in danger, or causes him some sort of anguish. He just wants to make sure everyone is safe. He wants to protect those who need protecting.

So we made it through that awful dungeon, and we defeated the beast that guarded the Meridell treasure, and then we had the wand we needed to defeat the Darkest Faerie.

I remember that... there was a lot that transpired afterwards, and we were very alone. Once we had freed King Skarl from his possession, and the last of the realm had been cleared of the evil, we went up to Faerieland to try to save Fyora. We were, uhm... tricked. By the Darkest Faerie. She cast us away, and we wound up in this... this weird alternate dimension of sorts, totally cut off from Meridell, in another time completely.

It was... terrifying.

I remember very vividly how much Tormund was there for me during that time, because he really kept me sane. Truly, he did. We were so alone, and so lost — lost in this... dead area. It was. It was just...

There was no life but a few petpets, and there were no sounds, and no breezes, and no... nothing. It was as if this strange world we found ourselves in was... trapped. Which, we found out, it was.

But I didn't know that at first. Neither of us did.

It was the most surreal experience, and not in a good way at all. Saving our home kingdoms of Meridell and Brightvale was one thing, but then we were suddenly in a new land that needed us just as much, but we didn't know how to go about it. We were so unfamiliar with everything. And I was... I was really worried we wouldn't be able to figure it out.

But Tormund helped me through it. He helped me look past everything that was troubling me. He, uh, (she giggles) he told me that I was the only smart one between us, and that I needed to wait to feel helpless until after I told him what to do. I, uh... I guess being able to laugh in such an awful situation helped out a lot. He always made me laugh when I needed it. And he still does.

It didn't take long before we had figured everything out and learned about the legendary kingdom of Altador, and where this dark faerie came from. We accomplished so much, and in so little time, and...

Well, I'm just glad I was able to have Tor beside me as we went through all this.

... You know what else is really cool about Tor? Even after we became "great heroes" or whatever, he never stopped wanting to help others. He didn't get an ego, and he didn't see anything or anyone as below him. He was just... humble. He still helps his family around their farm when he can, and he still helps folks around the towns and villages whenever they need, no matter how trite a task may be. He just wants to help. He will always just want to help. No matter who needs him, no matter what they need him for, he just...

Well, I dunno, but... that sort of selflessness, and that desire to help others, no matter who or what they are... I think that's what makes the mark of a true hero.


Patricia Ellis: Hmm? What's one word to describe Tormund?

Let's see...

If I had to choose one word, I suppose it would have to be... Strong.

Lucy Ellis: Brave!

Brendel Ballard: Clever, for sure.

Farmer Tessa: Good — oh, or kind!

Sophie: Disruptive... but also useful.

Mayor Jurgin: Are you sure you're sure that you don't want to hear my reasons wh—?

Sir Grayson: Honourable.

Sir Lawrence: Trustworthy.

Prince Tourin: Thoughtful, and audacious! Vigilant, truthful, chivalrous, and courageous! Heroic, admirable, charitable, and benevolent! Oh, you sods with your fancy camera devices, how do you expect me to choose just one word? One word to summarise all his bravery and wit — his outstanding heroism, his overwhelming support! No, no, there is no one single word to encompass all his glory! No one word could ever describe him, for he is so much, he is so flawless, he is so Tormund!

The Assassin: He's... alright, I suppose.

Lady Roberta: Well, I've said it before, and I'll say it again — the best way to describe my dear friend Tormund, in one word or many, is just...


For that's what he is, and what he always shall be:

A hero.

The Assassin: Hmm, wait a second... You, with the camera there. Take a few steps to your right, would you? Let me see you a little better.


Your name wouldn't happen to be, er... (he snaps his fingers a few times) James Maudiere, would it?


Oh, it is, is it? Hmm... (he pulls a paper out of his cloak pocket and reads it quickly) Huh, well, this makes my life a lot easier... (he snickers) Er, interviewer, you might want to leave. And quickly. No, no, don't ask questions about why, just... just do it.

(he stands and draws his sword) Really, just... if you know what's good for you, you should get out. Now. The camera will be fine. The reel won't be damaged. Well, this particular part, maybe, but...

No? Really? You're not going to listen to me?

Pfft. Foolish.

Listen, I'll give you to the count of three, kid, but that's it.



... Two and a haaalf?

(the camera topples over)

Alright, your mistake. Thre—!



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Other Episodes

» Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part One
» Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Two
» Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Three
» Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Four

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