A Waffle Paradise Circulation: 196,761,390 Issue: 705 | 30th day of Collecting, Y17
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Spooky Foods – A Guide for Partygoers


by equinewhispers

--------

Do you feel a sense of dread when friends invite you over for a traditional Halloween party? Does your stomach turn just thinking of Spooky Food? Fear not, this article will help you discern delicious treats from suspect meats as you navigate your way through a Spooky Foods buffet without upsetting your host.

Halloween treats

First up it helps to familiarise yourself with some of the best treats available from the Haunted Woods. For example you can bite into a strawberry-filled Skull Truffle without fear and the same goes for the delicious Cookie Hats. If your host has splashed out on a Fanged Figgy Pudding be sure to ask for a slice as you will definitely enjoy it. A Halloween party wouldn’t be complete without bowls of sweets around the place just make sure to grab a few Halloween JubJub Candies as these are not only perfectly safe to eat but are actually rather moreish. Lastly keep your eyes out for Spooky Shakes – these are a delicious mix of pumpkin, cream and toffee sauce with a cute little pumpkin decoration on top. Carrying one of these will mean you keep your hands full so you can politely decline a slice of something less appetising.

Foods which bite back

Whilst reaching across the buffet table for the more appetising Spooky Foods keep an eye out for the foods which might just bite back. Steer clear of the Aggressive Casserole and mind your fingers near the Angry Marshamllows or you’ll be wearing more bandages than the guy dressed as a mummy. The Beast Burger is said to be delicious if you can sneak up to it quietly enough to get the first bite – although personally I wouldn’t risk it. Watch out for Disgruntled Candy Corn amongst the other sweets – they’re usually pretty harmless but by the end of the night they will be fed up of being passed over for more delicious sweets and might just take it out on you. Finally watch out for the battle-hardened warriors that are the Saus-Rage – do not under any circumstances make eye contact especially not with a fork in your hand.

Foods which taste better than they look

If some of your friends are also nervous about Spooky Foods you can fool them into thinking you are being really brave by trying one of these foods. They might look pretty unappetising but you’ll be surprised at how good they taste. The Chilled Eyeball Custard is actually just custard and lime jelly with a few fondant eyeballs stirred in for that spooky look. Eating a few spoonfuls of this will allow you to enjoy both a delicious dessert and the look on your friends’ faces as you munch on an eyeball. Likewise Deviled Delight is a spicy pumpkin concoction that will warm you up on a chilly night. When you are ready for another dessert why not go for a slice of Glaring Cheesecake – the eye design is cleverly incorporated throughout the whole thing but is just made of toffee sauce. The eye might seem to follow you around the room but it is just a clever optical illusion. If your host comes around with a plate of Horror Doeuvres you can also tuck into these with relish. They are made from crackers , cheese and vegetables carefully shaped to look frightening but they can be safely eaten by even the most nervous partygoer. Finally you can impress your friends by tucking into a dish of Pulsating Brain Custard. The only thing you have to be careful of here is that you don’t burn your tongue as the pulsating affect is caused by the molten heat of the toffee sauce beneath the hot custard.

Foods the PPL should be informed about

I don’t know what the Petpet Protection League is up to at the moment but one can only hope they are deep undercover attempting to stop production of the many foods in the Haunted Woods that use Petpets as an ingredient. Some are easy to spot and avoid such as the Baked Intesteen, Spyder On A Stick and Snorkle Snout. Likewise anyone who can look at the happy face of the Tentacle in a dish of Roast Tentacle and still want to eat it deserves the full wrath of the PPL. Be careful before accepting ice creams as these may contain Bloops or Gooples and the Octorna in those Octornapies do not look cooked to me. The worst offender on this list is surely the Edible Plushie. This may look like a delicious treat but it is actually made by combining Ghost Marshmallows and a Gremble petpet – if you look closely you can see the Gremble’s eyes looking out hauntingly from within the plushie.

Foods to avoid at all costs

These foods might not be dangerous but they should be avoided all the same as they are the most ‘traditional’ of Haunted Woods fare, with recipes dating back to a time before Neopians questioned what was in their food. These are often rumoured to contain body parts from various species for example Blumaroo Steak, Elephante Trunk Surpise and Grundo Stix. Sometimes the species isn’t specified such as with Brains and Dumplings but that doesn’t make it any more appealing. Don’t just blindly accept finger food from a platter in case it is an actual Finger Sandwich. Be very careful if you see a large purple mass on a plate as this could be the ‘delicacy’ of Disturbing Gelatin, just looking at it will give you nightmares for months. You have been warned.

Foods which look too cute to eat

There are some Spooky Foods which you’d have to be a real monster to eat. The Slimesicle is one of my all-time favourite Neopian items – surely it can’t just be me that sees the happy little face made up of slime drips? Next up are Ghost Marshmallows - you would have to have a heart of stone to eat one of these smiley little chaps (as opposed to the head of stone you’d need to eat a Zombie Marshmallow). Surely all the other little mallows would stop smiling once you’d eaten one of their compatriots. The Almost Gummy Rats, which come in various flavours, look far too lifelike for me to be tempted to try one so I’d leave them around the place for decoration. As for the Ghost Techo Lolly you’d have to be made of pretty strong stuff to bite that little head off. Finally, Marzipan Mortogs might not be alive but they still look too cute for me to eat them. For those who aren’t affected by my sensitivity towards inanimate obects you should still be careful of these innocuous –looking Mortogs. According to the description one in every ten will explode after the first bite. I’m not sure what’s inside them but they are a Spooky Food so I’m guessing it’s not delicious fondant. . .

Hopefully this article will be a useful guide as you head off to your Halloween party. If you know a few items to choose and a few to avoid you will be able to enjoy yourself without worrying about going hungry or upsetting your host by turning your nose up at their selections. You can always take this page of the Times with you in your pocket and use the images as a handy reference guide before deciding which foods to eat. Remember - if in doubt wait for someone else to try it first!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Evil-ution of Edna
They all start somewhere

Artwork by lucifael.

by iluminescent


---------

Or Something Like It: Wrap Battle
Have a pun-tastic Halloween!

Written by Sarika_Ambrielle

by kittie_orion


---------

Your Evil Wishes!
Tis the season for spooks and scares, for tricks and treats! I thought it would be appropriate to write an article for the Neopian Times all about the "evil" wishes we might have, wishes that we hope will come true despite their negative nature.

by indulgences

---------

Splurge or Steal: Neohome 2.0 Halloween Decorating
Halloween is just around the corner, and many Neopians enjoy getting into the spirit by dressing up their Neopets, creating spooky avatar and font combinations, or decorating user lookups. While these are all fantastic ways to celebrate the occasion, Neopians often overlook their 2.0 Neohomes.

by a_ramsell



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.