Character Re-Introductions: Zargrold (The COOL)

First I must make amends to our guest. In one of my previous articles, Altador Cup Players’ Favorite Gormball Players in Issue #699, it was stated he had never won a previous Annual Gormball Championship. This was very untrue as it was just last year, Neopian Year 16, that Zargrold won his first Annual Gormball Championship. I should have realized that the Annual Gormball Championship’s Neopedia article’s last report was for Year 15’s championship (according to sources pesky bugs prevented Year 16’s report from being posted though a transcript survived the insectoids’ attack (at least that’s what I think they mean by bugs)) and should have done more research. But enough pity and apologizes, this article is about Zargrold!

Having been playing Gormball since it was first introduced, Zargrold is considered by many to be one of the, if not THE definite, coolest Gormball player currently playing. He quickly gained popularity and fans due to his laid back attitude and cool moves; two skills which made it almost impossible to psyche him out and so he quickly shot up to the professional leagues. But it was there where the Grundo with the cool shades hit a roadblock as now he was playing against other players on his skill level (or maybe even above it)? For years he was knocked out of the Annual Gormball Championship having been only able to place multiple second and third place rankings. However in Neopian Year 16 it happened; Zargrold kept his cool as one by one the other Gormball players were knocked out until he was the only one left and winning his first Gormball championship! Though everyone celebrated his first win it was sadly quickly forgotten due to the reports of it being lost when reporters were attacked by the bugs. However everyone was quickly reminded of it again when Zargrold proved that it wasn’t an accident by winning his second Gormball win in a row; a feat only done before by Ember and Thyassa (though Thyassa’s first win was due to Brian being disqualified, so only Ember had done it previously with no disqualifications).

Many reporters had been requesting an interview with Zargrold, but after reading my apology from the letter I sent requesting my interview he humbly accepted my offer:

“It’s just a game, no need to get steamed.

Maybe a refreshing splash of water will cool you off!”

Welcome, Zargrold the COOL! Thank you for doing this interview; once again I apologize for forgetting that you had won the previous year before publishing my article.

“It’s all right, I’m not angry. How can I be? It was an unfortunate series of events of the reporters being attacked by bugs, losing the reports, it not being added to the Neopedia, and many people except very dedicated fans remembering about last year. All I hope for is that in addition to this year’s report being corrected that last year’s report is also finally added from one of the surviving transcripts. Oh, and please, you can just call be Zargrold, or Zarg for short. I mean it’s not like ‘The COOL’ is my actual last name. *chuckles*”

Right, let’s all be as cool as you and move on. So first question, how do you feel about winning two years in a row? How did you feel when you first won?

“Right on with that! As for how I felt, would it be a bit cliché for me to say it feels cool? *chuckles again* Well aside from feeling cool is also feels awesome for both questions. First time I won it was intense; after everyone but me, Ursa, and Farv was knocked out I just felt an adrenaline rush all the sudden. Ursa and Farv were more focused on trying to knock each other one out. Once Ursa got Farv with a last minute trick she let her ego get to her I think. I haven’t won an Annual Gormball Championship so she thought she’d easily knock me out; however I kept calm while she became more and more nervous until she accidentally held the Gormball too long. It was my first win and I was stoked! All the other guys and gals were also happy for me and quickly threw a party together. They soaked me with a Virtupets fire house as a practical joke but it was all in fun and I was having the time of my life.

So, this year’s Annual Gormball Championship comes and though many Neopians forgot I won last year my fellow players didn’t. Almost every other throw was at my direction, trying to psyche me out best that they could. But you know me, I don’t psyche out easily and I was running on all adrenaline. I don’t think I got psyched out once but I did do it to some of them; sometimes knocking them out. Finally it was between me, ‘M, and Ursa. Ursa was really focused on me wanting ‘get back’ from last year but that resulted her getting knocked out by a sudden throw from ‘M. Now it was between me and ‘M and it felt like we were throwing the Gormball back and forth every second. I guess ‘M figured if she can’t psyche me out she‘ll just keep quickly passing me the Gormball back and forth. That’s when I took a risk; on my last throw I held the Gormball for an additional second before tossing it. ‘M had gotten so into the rhythm she tripped up and SPLASH! ‘M floated off steamed and I won my second Annual Gormball Championship! No party this time, but all us players gave each other thanks and compliments for a game well played.”

Sounds like you’re a close knit group. I’m assuming when you say Ursa, Farv, and ‘M you mean Ursula, Farvin III, and Ember, am I right?

“It does feel like we’re a family of sorts, at least to me. After game congratulations aren’t always as friendly, we do have some fierce rivalries. However I prefer to make friends not enemies; in the end it’s just a game and the point is to have fun. I feel like if someone goes away feeling angry or upset because of something I did I have done them a disservice. I admit some of the guys and gals can be hard to get along with but I like to think it’s just them playing up their professional persona they made for themselves and let bygones be bygones.

And yeah, I have a nickname for all my fellow Gormballers. Ursula is Ursa, Farvin III is Farv, Ember is ‘M, Thyassa is Thy, Brian is ‘B, Gargarox Isafuhlarg is Chef, and Kevin is Kev. Oh, and of course Master Lord Sloth is just that. I insist everyone can call me a nickname like Zarg or ‘Z but they prefer to keep things professional so they use full names whenever possible; even though they sometimes stumble saying my and Chef’s name.”

Master Lord Sloth? So you’re a Sloth Supporter? Well either case we’re running out of time. I guess my last question would be how you got into Gormball and do you have any advice for young upstarts?

“To quickly address it, I’m neither a Master Lord Sloth supporter nor a Master Lord Sloth opposer. I really have no opinion on him but I do have respect. The reason for this actually ties together with how I got into Gormball. When Master Lord Sloth enslaved the Grundo I was just a baby; and when he was defeated my family stayed on the Virtupets Space Station. I grew up on the Virtupets Space Station my entire life; I have no connection with my species origin world, Kreludor. I visited Kreludor a few times of course, got a major fan following living there, but if I were to say which world is my home I would say it’s the Virtupets Space Station. Though I’m cool about it I’m very patriotic to my home and try to support everything it does and long ago that included a new sport they created called Gormball. Gormball and I just clicked, I can’t explain it. I guess since I had gone through a very scary experience when I was a baby I’m just not intimidated so easily and that’s a major part of Gormball. My opponents just kept trying to psyche me out while I improved my skills and soon I found myself among the eight best Gormball players in the Annual Gormball Championship.

I don’t think I’m the best suited to give advice due to that but if I had to say anything I’d say stay cool. Yeah, stay cool because if you worry you may make a mistake. That also goes for anything in life just as much as Gormball. Take the situation as it comes with a calm and collected attitude and you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish. And even if you fail, which will happen, don’t be disheartened. Just know what you did wrong and try better next time. I know what I’m saying is obvious stuff but it holds true; I’m living proof!”

As Zargrold finished talking a gentle ring sounds off alerting both of us my interview was over. I thanked Zargrold and left his home chambers; but I wasn’t about ready to leave the Virtupets Space Station yet. Now comes the second part of my interview where I go around to those who know Zargrold and ask what they have to say about him. Although I have seven obvious Neopians I can talk to; I only have room for three and for my third I have someone else outside of that group I want to talk to. But right now I’m in the Virtupets Space Station so let’s start from there.

“That was a close match! I was hoping passing the Gormball back and forth so fast that it would get Zargrold entranced so I could trip him up but my plan wound up backfiring on me! Guess I only got myself to blame for that. Though Zargrold has only begun winning championships he has always been a tough opponent as he’s very difficult to trick. I believe the only reason he hasn’t won earlier is from sheer luck; and that’s probably how he’ll end up losing next time too. But I don’t hold anything against him, he is as cool as many believe him to be and is great fun at a party. He also comes up with funny nicknames for everyone, mine is ‘M, which makes it feel like he’s a close friend whether you’ve known him for a while or you just met. And I can respect anyone who can keep their cool when Dr. Sloth is standing a few feet away from them.”

“Aarg, I should have known better than to focus only on one player while there was another one active. That’s twice I made the same mistake: last time when I underestimated Zargrold and this time underestimating the other remaining opponent. I guess you could say I was trying to ‘get back’ at Zargrold for beating me last year, but it’s all professional and business. I have nothing against Zargrold; I like and trust him which is more than I can say for other players like cheating-eye-twitch Brian and big-mouth-and-ego Thyassa. In fact last year when he beat me he came and congratulated me for a good game. Can’t stay mad at good sportsmanship like that, he even says he looks forward to a ‘rematch’ against us which I guess could be why I kind of zoned out everyone else but him. Next year I gotta plan new strategies; I gotta learn how everyone plays and come up with a way to counter them. Yeah, I think that’ll work. Say, what do you think is Dr. Sloth’s chance of coming back to play? Aah, I’ll plan for him to anyway, never hurts to be too prepared. *winks and smiles*”

“No... *widen eyes and backs up a bit* NO... *falls to his knees and pulls at his ear stalks* NOOOOOOOOOO! (I wait as he pulls himself together) How could I forget he won last year when you interviewed me during the Annual Gormball Championship?! Oh what kind of fan am I? No way can I keep my fan club membership and badge. (I assure him it’s alright and Zargrold doesn’t seem to mind) Of course Zargrold doesn’t mind, he’s always cool like that. But still a normal Gormball fan forgetting isn’t surprising, but I’m one of his fans! I shouldn’t be forgetting something as important as his first win! That’s like forgetting Team Kreludor won the Altador Cup once... wait, we did once right? I’m so flustered right now. (I tell him Team Kreludor did win the Altador Cup once) Thanks, *sighs* newest embarrassing moment since scoring on my own team. (I remind him to keep it cool like Zargrold) Yeah, you’re right, you’re right, I should be asking myself what Zargrold would do. *Takes a deep breath and slowly breathes is out* I feel much better now, thanks! You know, Zargrold would probably laugh it off like it was a joke so I think that’s what I will do. HAHAHA. Do I sound forced? I’m laughing legitimately, I truly am. Oh, I should probably say a few words about his victory. So...”

And that’s all the time we have for this Character Re-Introductions! Zargrold’s title “The COOL” isn’t just there for show. Zargrold is definitely one cool dude and it seems like everyone is in agreement that he’s by far the coolest around. He’s not mad that almost everyone forgot he won last year’s Annual Gormball Championship, instead he remained cool and now he has the last laugh with a second win under his shades. We wish him and every other Gormball player good luck during the next Annual Gormball Championship and I hope to entertain you again during the next Character... AAAH! *Gets splashed by a Gormball*

Qlydae Wegg: That’s for cutting me off! This is pro Team Kreludor player Qlydae Wegg saying he’ll see you next time... when he dries off. Signing off!