There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 193,437,521 Issue: 690 | 17th day of Swimming, Y17
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Your Friendly Guide on Reading an Issue of the Times


by adinos

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Have you ever been so excited of the newest issue of the Neopian Times coming out that you just didn't know what to read first? If you have, then keep on reading! If you haven't, well...continue reading on anyway! This is just a guide of course and not in any way something you need to follow every week(but nobody said you couldn't). The Neopian Times is a wonderful place for beginning writers to best selling authors and to those just wanting that shiny avatar as well! Readers relax with a chuckle or two(or three or four) with a visit to the comic section and just as well relax with a short story. Let us begin with...well, the beginning!

The Editorial

You have just woken up from yesterday's night shift at the Faerieland Employment Agency and it feels great to have a day off. Oh my! I haven't read the latest Neopian Times Issue You hastily get up, still in your pyjamas, and find that the paper has already arrived at your door! What shall I read first? The Editorial seems like a good place to start! Yes folks, I have always start a new issue of the Times by reading the Editorial. Did you send in a question earlier this week to the editor? I find that it is always exciting if your question gets answered. True, answers can be less than helpful than what you were expecting but they can be just as amusing. If we're lucky maybe we'll get hit on the head by a coconut! *squeals* Oh *ahem* on to the next section!

Continued Series

What a splendid editorial! That mr. coconut gets me every time!I almost forgot! That new series had me on Baby Pteri shells! I wonder how it ends! Will the Pant Devil manage to get away with his dastardly deeds?! I sure hope not! Were you left on a cliff hanger last week while reading a series? Fear not! THE HERO IS HERE!!-wait-I meant that the next part has arrived. *cough* A series can range from six to a heaping twelve parts! You always have he option of going back to past issues in case you missed something. Left on another cliff hanger? Tune in next week! See how they keep you coming back for more? :)

New Series

My, that was such a surprising ending! I had no idea that the Pant Devil's twin brother would be there to intervene! After finishing that amazing ten part series, why not start a reading a new series? Who knows...it may be even more spine chilling than the last(of course it is perfectly fine if spine chilling is not your cup of tea). Each week the Neopian Times is released there are usually one of two new series that are submitted to that section. More if we're lucky! Take note avatar collectors: each part counts as one submission so if your ten part story gets selected, prepare yourself for a brand new avatar! If you are lucky enough to have your piece accepted on an issue ending with "00" or "50", then congrats again! An avatar with a cute little weewoo will be given to you. Be warned, however, as these issues don't come around often and that means stiff competition. And when I say stiff I mean tougher than any Punchbag Bob you have ever battled in your Neopain life(and yes I meant what I said). These exclusive avatars take effort you know! *collective gasp* Effort?! Effort. E-double F- O-R-T! There are avatar collectors out there that will do whatever it takes to get into those issues. Don't forget the most important rule though: HAVE FUN!! :D

Right. Moving on.

Short Stories

Hmmm...that new series is not too bad. I'll be sure to look out for it next week. Need a break from all that suspense? Short stories here we come! These are exactly like series expect...well...shorter! They might be about a lonely grey eyrie in the pound to a kougra missing his crumpets. Be warned: not all stories guaranteed a happy ending. In fact, the most interesting shorts often have a very open ending to them. The lonely eyrie that was in the pound found a new owner but still thinks of that friend who comforted him when he was sad. That kougra and his crumpets? It turns out that he had found some leftovers in the fridge...but now he is really thirsty. Maybe your short story will be accepted one day and you'll get neomail from neopians asking what happened to that poor kougra. Generally, short stories are easier to write than long series but your submission only counts as one if you are hoping to achieve an avatar from it. Have an amazing idea for a story? Submit it! Neopia is a land of magic and intrigue so the possibilities of what to write are endless!...well nearly endless anyway. Every writer has to start somewhere you know.

Comics

I am in need of a laugh after that mind bending story...ah...how about the comic section? My personal favorite, the Comic Section! *trumpet fare* Almost always guaranteed a snort, chuckle, full on happy tears, crying on the floor because of the silliness of it all, or a plain and simple smile. All it takes to get into the comic section is a sense of humour, a few neopets drawn in, and voila! Comic made! Every once in a while a whole series of comics are made! Part one, part two, etc. All in good humour of course. You really don't have to be an artist to get accepted. Although, I do find myself admiring how cute that Baby Bruce is for failing to take over Neopia. WHY MUST I BE SO CUTE?! WHY??! *ahem*

Articles

*gigglegiggle* What a cute little bruce. Now then...oh dear. My new noil is wetting the carpet again. I sure wish I knew about noils better Aww poor noil. Hey! Maybe someone will write an article on how to properly care for a pet noil! Where is that located again?...none other than the Article Section! Read about taking care of noils and puppyblews correctly here, how to earn neopoints, what to get your nimmo for Nimmo Day, a guide to avatar collecting, and so many more topics! Why, I reckon you're reading an article right now! Articles are very useful in the form of guides, top ten items, really anything. Not sure how to do something? Take a glance at some past articles. Clueless on whether getting your nimmo a dartboard is a good idea? The articles are here to save the day! *is given a note*

Wait what do you mean Nimmo Day has passed? Oh...maybe that's why my nimmo keeps sticking its tongue out. Huh. Well articles can't save everything.

That is all the sections of the Neopian Times and what order you should read them in. No one is going to call the Chia Police if, for some reason, you think that reading articles first is a better idea. Nope! Feel free to read it any way you like. This has been a guide to getting the full experience of a Neopian Times Issue.*bows*

What another wonderful issue of the Times. You sink back into bed with dreams of weewoos and golden quills...I wonder if weewoos really do exist? A yawn overtakes you. Until next week

Quoting a certain coconut, "GOOD NIGHT!"

 
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