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PC Archetypes 2

by marzipan


With the commercial success (not really) of my previous article, "PC Archetypes", I've realised that there have been a few other, some major, archetypes that I have not included.

So here's an extra list, compiled with the archetypes that I feel are noteworthy, either in their prevalence or in their uniqueness.

The Troll

In the dark, dank archway that exists underneath the bridge of Pound Chat, there lurks the creatures of the night... trolls! They will usually run head first into a board that they have no connection with whatsoever and cause havoc for those who are on it.

The best way to deal with them? Don't feed them. If they get food then they'll come from the archway and try to take over the world just like Meepits!

Read the signpost just as you enter the PC: "Please do not feed the trolls or the Meepits."

The witty title maker/ wise cracker

Ah. The catchy board title. Many of us have been searching and searching for this holy grail. Coming up with a board title requires more thought than it first seems, as having a catchy board title will attract potential offers and engage in conversation, which will help you keep your board afloat in the fast paced world that the Pound Chat is. Then again, there comes the problem that if a witty title is used too many times, it's not as attention grabbing, because too many of the regular PCers have already seen it.

The witty title maker/ wise cracker usually has a list of said catchy titles that they've stashed away for future use, most commonly including:


2. "{insert funny and captivating title here}"

3. "Don't click this", proceeded by the first posting being "you clicked this didn't you" and

4. insanely cryptic titles that are using hieroglyphic symbols so you have no idea what the board is about unless you click on it.

Here's one you can use. Just put "Crocodile" in the board title, and as your first post write, "Snappy, isn't it?".

*crickets calling*

Sometimes I amuse myself a lot.

The unrealistic trader

Suffering from "doting owner syndrome", these traders will value their pets much more than the regular crowd at the PC will. Because your own pet is always totally the best-est of bests, and people are lucky you're even there to offer it, right? Right? Right?! Please say it's true?! :(

No. Sorry. We all have delusions of grandeur, but you have to realise that no one is going to trade their super common real word UC Royalboy Kyrii for _wear_sparkle_pants_ the basic Kiko, as awesome as that name is.

The aloof artistic type

Wearing a beanie, sporting black rimmed glasses and drinking a latte, they're nothing like their long-suffering cousin, "the penniless artist". The aloof artist usually has unbelievably superb art, but only draws one or two pieces a year, or so it seems, but is already famous and has 35179351 fans. They're also constantly bombarded with art trades/ requests, which are usually met with the reply, "I sorry, but, like, I don't believe in art trades because it's totally against my vegan diet". "You're so complicated, you must be a great artist!"

Wait, what?!

The"applying just because I want to" applicant

Because the process is always better than the result. These applicants will most frequently just be applying for the sake of making an application, and their application is nothing to scoff at either. It'll be one that has a splash page, 30 pieces of art, a 300,000 word novel and 3 separate custom layouts, only for the applicant to not turn in the application at the end. Why? Because the journey is everything, while the end destination is mediocre!

Well, that's what this species of applicant seems to thinks anyway.

The fangirl

While the fangirl is more common on boards such as the role-player's or writer's board due to the topics being more concerned about books, movies, and, well, fandoms, the fangirl is still a common sight on the PC. However, they are not detectable in most cases, and need to be lured out, usually with a pet name or a user lookup that has a reference, no matter how obscure, to a particular fandom.

Then, the fangirl emerges to squeal over their fandom of choice. Their squeals will attract other fangirls, and once their numbers increase, they will squeal to communicate, as squealing is the cry of their people. Note that fangirls of one fandom cannot understand the squealing of other fandoms that they are not part of.

I must add that while the fanboy is a very real phenomenon, the fangirl seems to be much more prevalent, most likely because the fanboy is not equipped with the same capabilities to squeal like the fangirl is.

The "YOLO" PCer

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, YOLO means "you only live once". These "YOLO" PCers don't usually put "YOLO" in their board titles, but the sentiment is there. They're usually people who have scraped and squirrelled every neopoint together in hope of buying something grand like a SUAP (Super Attack Pea), but half way through they decided that they wanted to paint all their pets fabulous colours instead, because they decided that they're never going to use that SUAP anyway.

Such actions may result in 15 minutes of elation, followed by 2 days of guilt from betraying your original goal, which is then followed in turn by pensive reflecting on how your actions on a virtual pet site has affected your real life emotions and psyche.

I think I just broke the 4th wall.

The elite trader

Some of us trade Baby pets for Krawks, some of trade Draiks for Draiks, but the elite trader is in a totally different class than most of us. They have 2 letter pets, extremely common real words/names, and incredibly rare UCs. Essentially, pets that most of us can only drool over and dream about. The elite trader has either struck the jackpot when the conversion happened, or has spent an enormous amount of time and effort getting to where they are now so that the majority of the PC can only cry over how beautiful their account and pets are.

The non-trader

A board on the PC that isn't about trading? Man; the sun must have risen from the west. The non-trader usually just wants to chat about pets in general, making a boards like "what's everyone's dream pet?", "what do people think of the new colours?" or "what's everyone getting this month?".

Because sometimes, you just want to chat, you know?

However, their non-trading board is frequently drowned by the mass of trading boards that swamp the PC. Fight on, non-trader PCer! :(

The pound surfer

I used to be a pound surfer, but then I took a writing quill to the knee. I had to sit down and become a writer instead.

Pound surfers usually gather in one board and like to post well named, high levelled, painted or rare pets so that they can be adopted by those who either have little time to surf or are not proficient in surfing (it's hard to stand up on the board when the current's so fast).

Grab your surf boards, dudes, the pound's totally flooded! *Hawaii Five-O music playing*


This concludes my second article on PC archetypes, and I hope that you've found it informative and entertaining. If you fall into one or more of these archetypes, worry not; we are all parodies of ourselves. Will there be a third? Probably be not. Will there be one about other boards? Most likely. These are the answers to questions that no one has asked.

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