A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 190,988,487 Issue: 588 | 29th day of Running, Y15
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Article Spies - Grandma Boochi

by water_park1993


Also by birdinggal

Scene: Tyrannian Outskirts, five o'clock in the morning. Near the tent of the leaders of the Awakened.

An elderly-looking Bruce enters the tent holding a weird cane-like walker and mumbling to herself. She is wearing small glasses and has her gray hair tied in a bundle on top of her head. The two spies are hidden behind big rocks. Actually Birdy is fast asleep and Christos is left to do all the hard work.

But who is this mysterious Bruce and what does she want here in the mists of war? And most importantly why is she mumbling to herself? What is that walker? Why isn't she baking cookies at home?!

Christos: *shaking Birdy to wake up* Grandma Boochi is here, our sources were right! Right on time. Well, too bad for Lanie and Lillie actually.

Birdy: Zzzz... What? I need my beauty rest, let me sleep! Zzz...

Christos: Come on, wake up! We are going to miss her entrance in the tent. And what's up with that walker? Were all the normal ones gone?

Christos pushed Birdy causing her to trip from the rock, hit the ground and finally wake up, covered in sand and dirt.

Birdy: *cleans the sand from her clothes* You go and I will follow.

Christos moved closer to the tent. It had the shape of a house actually and it even had its own little windows; needless to say they were shut because the two Wockies were far from sleeping. He managed to raise one of the shut covers of the windows, peaking inside the tent. Although Grandma Boochi had entered the tent five minutes before Christos and Birdy approached, she hadn't yet woken the Wockies up.

Birdy: Wait, hasn't she been inside for quite some time now?

Christos: Yes, it seems she got tired from walking all the way here and she is trying to rest for a bit on her walker. She was on time, though; five o'clock in the morning!

Birdy: Wait. *points to said walker* Isn't that thing shining from underneath?

The walker resembled a tripod. Each end had a yellow ball-like, rubbery-looking thing which touched the ground. Its handle was brown and Grandma wouldn't let go of it.

Christos: Indeed those yellow ball-like, rubbery-looking things touching the ground are glowing suspiciously.

Grandma Boochi: Wake up, you little brats! When I was your age I would be wide awake already cleaning the house or baking or washing up or doing something useful with my life, not sleeping in like the worst day of Sloth. *mumble mumble*

But Lanie and Lillie slumbered on. Grandma Boochi scowled, and shuffled across the floor to their bed. She then raised her walker above her head and brought it down. Before it ever reached its target, however, a pale arm reached up and grabbed it. The Twins were awake.

Lanie and Lillie (in unison): That wasn't very nice.

Grandma Boochi: *huffs* When you tell a someone to be somewhere at a certain time, you should at least have the decency to be ready yourself! *forcefully sets walker feet on the ground*

The Twins climbed out of bed and smoothed the skirts of their dresses in unison. Then they turned back to Grandma Boochi.

Lanie: Did you bring it?

Lillie: We have been waiting.

Christos and Birdy exchanged glances. What is this mysterious "it"? Is it the glowing walker? A set of dentures? Something worse?

Peeking back in through the window, it appeared that their questions were about to be answered. Grandma Boochi reached into her pocket, and pulled out a handful of something small and colourful. She handed some to each girl, who eagerly stuck it in their mouths.

Birdy: *whispering* Christos, what's going on? What is that?

Christos: *frowns* I'm not sure...

Lanie and Lillie began to eat the strange objects, but quickly grimaced and spat them out. Looking up at Grandma Boochi petulantly, they spoke in their unnerving monotone.

Lanie: This is not candy.

Lillie: These are rocks.

Lanie: You tricked us.

Grandma Boochi: Hhmph! When I was your age, I only got candy twice a year – my birthday and the Day of Giving! And you never hear me complain! I was GRATEFUL, unlike some kids these days... And I'll have you know that was some of the best candy I own! They don't make it like that anymore, that was a relic of the past! You should be THANKFUL I was kind enough to share it with a couple of brats like you.

Lanie and Lillie's eyes almost seemed to glow briefly, then stopped. Upon further calming themselves, they spoke again.

Lanie: If you give us real candy,

Lillie: then maybe we will help you.

Christos and Birdy looked at each other, eyes widening. Help? Help her with what? What could this elderly Bruce possibly be doing that would require the help of two undead little girls?

Grandma Boochi: He must be destroyed if he reappears.

Lanie: Boochi?

Lillie: or Death?

Grandma Boochi: Don't get me started on my lazybones grandson! I was referring to Death; that Baby Ixi who went against your faction. For obvious reasons he must be defeated again and again if he returns. It is the only way that us Elderly pets can feel safe. It is our own way to cheat Death.

Lanie and Lillie exchanged glances.

Lanie: That Baby Ixi

Lillie: was once a friend of your grandson?

Grandma Boochi: Hmph, going around zapping Neopets baby! What kind of activity is that?

Lanie and Lillie (in unison): We get the feeling you want to ask for more.

By this time Christos and Birdy were taking notes like crazy. Scribbling down Grandma's biggest fear, her actual relationship with Boochi, her possession of relic-old candy, and they were anxiously awaiting for more!

Grandma Boochi: You still haven't offered me any tea, youngsters nowadays, hmph! *moves on to table and pours a cup of tea for herself* My next offer benefits both you and me.

Lanie: We know your offer.

Lillie: We were told.

Lanie: First get Kanrik, the Master thief.

Lillie: Then go for The Duchess.

Lanie: Rasala the Bright will be next on your list.

Lillie: Commander Flint shall become your victim.

Lanie: The last one should be Professor Lambert.

Grandma Boochi: Zapping each one of those pesky faction leaders. That will teach him!

Lanie: That will teach them, you mean.

Grandma Boochi: No, that will teach him. Boochi shall see the true power of my walker! *sips some tea* Who made this tea? It's a disgrace!

Lillie: We will help you get close to each faction leader. We promise to defeat Death over and over again.

Grandma started moving towards the exit. Christos and Birdy retreated behind their original rock, afraid of the Grandma's walker. She got out, and raised her walker. From underneath came a yellow light. She pressed a button on its brown handle.

Lanie and Lillie (in unison): Zap.

Birdy: *whispers from behind the rock, peeking towards a nearby Ixi* That Ixi used to be coloured Red... And now it's Elderly!

Christos: That walker is really scary! Just like Boochi turns them Baby, his Grandma turns them Elderly! And on top of that, she insists on defeating Death, as if she herself cheats Death and she has a master plan of turning the other factions leaders Elderly! I think we have a pretty big scoop here!

Birdy: Scoop? You mean Ice cream?! WHERE?! GIVE ME! When we get back, I am raiding a random refrigerator!

Our two reporters fled the area. With great caution though, fearing the walker and that creepy Grandma!

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