There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 189,696,820 Issue: 558 | 17th day of Hiding, Y14
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Diary of a Mad Usuki Collector

by dr_tomoe


Month of Hunting: Day 28.

     So it was my birthday today, and my anger management coach said that I was making great strides. As a gift, he gave me this diary to contain my thoughts and to mention things that might get me angry, so I can try to manage it better. Yeah, it's easy for him to say. He doesn't have to keep cleaning up messes in a big statue hall every day! He doesn't realize how dirty those floors get with tourists coming in day in and day out to visit the Hall of Heroes! Always coming in with their muddy shoes! GAH! Just thinking about it makes me angry! I'll be back later, I need to vent!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 5.

     I ended up burning my Grey Toast today. How can you even tell when that happens! Rawrghg! That makes me so mad that I just want to take this toast to Techo Mountain and leave it at the volcano and show it how toasty it can really get! That'll show that toast! That'll show all the toast not to burn on me again! It ruined breakfast! How am I supposed to be able to clean the Hall of Heroes without any breakfast! Gragh! It just makes me so angry!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 12.

     Soooo... after just two entries, my anger management coach doesn't think the diary is working. Apparently even thinking about other things that might make me angry is causing me to get angry even more. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember that the phrase "Black hole of anger and rage that will drag everything into it" was tossed around more then once. I don't know. I personally think its working. Besides, if I had a black hole, I could easily clean up those large blocks of stone from when the statue of the Darkest Faerie exploded. Those things are heavy! And I don't get any help at all! Does he realize how hard it is to keep that place clean with just myself cleaning?! Well, he said to stick to the diary and he'll try to think of something else for our next session.

     Month of Relaxing: Day 17.

     So, I convinced him to let me keep the diary going. He said he wasn't seeing any improvement, but if I thought it was working, then to keep going. But he said this time he wants to try something new. And he gave me an Usuki Doll. Can you believe it? An Usuki Doll! How is an Usuki Doll supposed to help me with my anger?!?! It can't do anything! It's just a doll! It's more useless then those lousy visitors we always get who keep making a mess of the place! How do you get mud on the roof?!? That is what I had to deal with today! Graahaghgh! It just makes me so mad that he thinks that an Usuki Doll will be of any help!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 18.

     An Usuki Doll! Seriously!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 19.

     So when I got home today, I was looking over at the Usuki Doll. I don't know how its supposed to help me with my anger. It just sits there! Ugh, I don't know what he was thinking.

     Month of Relaxing: Day 20.

     Well, I thought about it some while I was chasing out some muddy Minitheus that had gotten into the Hall of Heroes, and if he thinks having an Usuki Doll will help with my anger issues, then I decided I'd give it a shot. So once I got home, I looked at it again... and had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. I mean, its just a doll! You can't very well do much with it alone! So, I went out and went to Usukiland and picked up a play set as well. Apparently you can use these to dress up the dolls. I don't really see the point, but at least the doll by itself isn't doing anything to make me angry.

     Month of Relaxing: Day 24.

     So, today my anger management coach gave me another Usuki Doll. He said that although it seemed like a slow process, it was doing a good job of keeping my anger under control. I don't see how though. That Finneus came over from the Archives today and said that he could hear me ranting and shouting from there! Well, what are you supposed to do when you stub your toe on the statue of Malak? Not scream and shout and get angry about it? I don't think so!

     Anyway, now I have two Usuki Doll's to contend with. And just one play set. So I went to Usukiland again after work and picked up another one. They had the big Krawk Island play set on sale, so I went with that one. Ugh, I can just imagine that Krawk Island would be a horrible place to clean up on. So I'll keep my Krawk Island play set extra clean for the Usuki Dolls. That'll show those pirates!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 25.

     It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn when I went to Usukiland yesterday, there was an Usuki Doll that looked like me at my old job as a Foreman. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me.

     Month of Relaxing: Day 26.

     So the Krawk Island play set I got was bigger then I thought it was. Much bigger then for just two Usuki Dolls. And there was really no point in letting some perfectly good play space go to waste, so I went back to Usukiland today and picked up some more Usuki Dolls. They had a set of three called the Singing Star Usuki's that were on sale, and since there was a pretty good deal, I bought all three of them. But when I got home, I thought about it some more. Why would singing stars be on Krawk Island? I couldn't very well put them there! It wouldn't make any sense! GAH! Now I need to go back tomorrow and get different dolls for that play set, AND get a new play set for the three I just bought!

     Month of Relaxing: Day 27

     So I couldn't decide if the Happy Valley play set or the Usuki Dream Castle would be better for the Singing Star Usuki's, so I just decided to get both and I would decide later. But while I happened to be at Usukiland, I saw that they had a Pirate Usuki play set. Those would go pretty well with the Usuki's I have in the Krawk Island play set, so I picked one of those up as well. But now that I had an extra play set, I needed more Usuki Dolls to go with it. I saw that they had one that looked like the Snowager and the Scratchcard Kiosk Wocky, and they would go well with the Happy Valley set. So I bought them too. I was going to get another one, but after I saw it, it was a reject! A reject Usuki! How could they let something like that get through their production line! And I was going to buy it too until I saw that! GRAGHGH!

     Month of Swimming: Day 1.

     So my anger management coach says that the Usuki Dolls are working. I don't know what he's talking about. I haven't noticed any change at all since we've started this. Although I have noticed that things haven't been as bad at the Hall of Heroes recently. Yeah, there's a lot to clean, but its gotta get done. Anyway, my coach said to keep doing what I'm doing, and I need to go to Usukiland again tomorrow to pick up another play set. I had miscounted the other day, and had one extra Usuki Doll with nothing to do.

     Month of Swimming: Day 2.

     Talk about good service today! The Shopkeeper at Usukiland gave me a frequent shoppers card today! He said that I've been one of the better customers he's had recently, so he gave it to me free of charge! I don't know why he did though. It's not like I go there all the time. Either way, he said that if I get fifty more Usuki products, I get a free pass to Usukicon next month. HA! Like I would end up at Usukicon! I just picked up the extra play set I needed and left. And since they had a special, I got another Usuki Doll at half-off.

     Month of Swimming: Day 3.

     Why did I get that extra Usuki Doll!?!?! Now I need to go back and get another play set! Graghahgh!

     Month of Swimming: Day 4

     So I went back to Usukiland today to pick up a play set for this extra Usuki Doll, maybe one of the cheaper ones, when what do I see? It's an Usuki Doll that looks just like King Altador! I don't know who made such a thing, but I knew I had to buy it! I couldn't wait to take it home and act like I was his boss! Yeah! Let's see how King Altador likes it, having to clean up the Usuki Dream Castle! I bet if there was an Usuki Doll that looked like me, that King Altador Usuki would beg me for a raise! Ha! I'm going to enjoy this!

     Month of Swimming: Day 5.

     I must be seeing things again, because I could have sworn I saw that Usuki Doll that looked like me again yesterday. But I was too focused on that Usuki Doll of King Altador to pay that much attention. Still... strange though.

     Month of Swimming: Day 8

     My anger management coach says that I seem to have calmed down a lot. I don't see it. But I need to get to Usukiland again today. I noticed that I must have accidentally picked up one of the reject dolls. I don't know who does quality control there, but it stinks!

     Month of Swimming: Day 12

     So I was about to buy this new Usuki play set, when all of a sudden this robot gets in front of me and picks up all the Usuki Dolls on the shelf! Whoever heard of a robot that collects Usuki Dolls! Especially one that was carrying around a briefcase like that!

     Month of Swimming: Day 14.

     So I noticed that at home, some of the walls were kinda bare. And I saw that Usukiland had a few posters for sale as well. So I figured, why not? I'm already here, and I can think of worse things to put on my walls then some Usuki posters.

     Month of Swimming: Day 15.

     RAWRGHGHAHG! I need to have some words with that bank manager at the National Neopian! I know for a fact that I have more in my savings then that! Someone has been taking all of my Neopoints and I know its not me! I just buy the necessities!

     Month of Swimming: Day 16.

     What luck! There was a rare Usuki Doll for sale at Usukiland today! Sure, it was a bit expensive, but how often do you come across something that rare?

     Month of Swimming: Day 22.

     Yeah... so it turns out I was so mad at the Bank Manager that I ended up missing my anger management class last week. Still no word on where all of my Neopoints have gone off to. Someone must have gotten access to my account! On a more positive note, I got enough posters for every wall in my home to be covered. Even though its all Usuki, its a marked improvement!

     Month of Swimming: Day 29.

     So until I can find out who has been getting into my bank account, I haven't been able to go back to Usukiland. And that just makes me so ANGRY! WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS TO ME! WHO!?! DON'T THEY REALIZE HOW MANY THINGS I NEED TO GET THERE!?! I HAVE TO GET THAT NEW USUKI DISPLAY CASE OR ELSE THEY'LL GET DIRTY! RARGHEABLE!

     Month of Hiding: Day 5.

     So I went back to anger management today. He said that I'm making great progress, despite what happened at the bank. I guess the journal did work. Still no word on who had been getting into my bank account though. Although I did get a new rare Usuki the other day. Good thing that I got paid a few days ago.

     Month of Hiding: Day 18.

     So, its been a while.

     Well, long story short. I apparently bought enough Usuki products to get that free ticket to Usukicon. And even though I don't recall buying that many things from Usukiland, I'm not going to turn down a free trip! Even if it is to Usukicon! After all, I think I deserve a vacation! And just to make it all the sweeter, I'm going to bring all the Usuki Dolls I have to it, and not the King Altador Usuki! That'll show him! Let's see how he likes it when everyone else is having fun and he has to work! Ha!

     Month of Hiding: Day 19.

     I changed my mind, I'm bringing all my Usuki Dolls.

     Month of Hiding: Day 20. Usukicon.


The End

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