There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 189,271,873 Issue: 551 | 29th day of Relaxing, Y14
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Cryptic & Elusive: Mr. Krawley

by cherishtwilight


I've written about both villains and heroes and their motives, thinking I knew it all. I thought I could predict the next villain Neopia could bring at any second. I thought I could tell how the story would begin. I thought I could predict how it would end. I was wrong.

It all began when I stumbled onto the gypsy camp, where one gypsy had asked if I wanted to hear a story. Of course, I accepted the offer gladly (I mean; only an idiot wouldn't love a good story now and then!). The gypsy took out a big, dark purple book from behind her wooden seat, and began telling me the Tale of Woe...

Basically, I had nightmares about the story for over a week. The story still haunts me today, and I have very good reasons why. I can tell you this: it wasn't the town. It wasn't the curse. It wasn't the witch that can turn anyone into a Mootix any time she wanted to. It was the Hissi Oil salesman.

The story took place a long time ago, and in the end the whole town was freed. Everyone's happy, right? WRONG.

Did the story mention anything about Mr. Krawley being trapped by the Defenders of Neopia for eternity? Did the story mention that he ended up being chased away by evil ghost Meepits? Did the story mention that the angry mob was able to catch him and lock him up for the rest of his pitiful life? No, it certainly didn't! On the contrary, it said that Krawley cursed the whole town, made some dreams come true, turned them into a nightmare, cured the town a century later, and then walked off into the moonlight like nothing happened at all!

For all those Tyrannians out there who recently learned how to read, this means that he's still on the loose, and can cause massive chaos anytime he wants to, wherever he wants to. That includes the comfy chair you're sitting on.

Though that doesn't worry me. As a vivid article-writer, I ask a lot of questions in my time. Why do people think Jelly World exists? Why do some pets glow? Why do fangirls go crazy for plot characters like Hanso (because he's awesome)? What I'm asking now, though, is why?

Why did he do it all in the first place when he knows he's going to undo it in a matter of years? How did he know that there would be a flower inside the sanitarium that would cure the whole town? What was in his mind when he decided to do it? Where is he now?

These questions, and more, will be revealed in a matter of random words after this. Like zeenana. And ugga. Ugga-ugga-ugga? Whatever. Onto the crazy theory board!

The Motive

Krawley wasn't someone who just woke up one morning and decided he would take over a random town. If he was that kind of person, why Neovia? The town was isolated behind the woods, safely tucked away from the terrors of the woods. It could've taken him days to find the town, and for what? Destroying it? No, it's not worth it. He planned this. But all at the same time, he was doing it for some reason.

I found the answer to his motives after getting to know the woods a little more. Pretty much everyone was either a freak working in the Deserted Fairgrounds or a villain going around turning others into drooling slaves. Krawley, on the other hand, was neither.

He was destined to waste out in the woods: the woods gave him five seconds and zero, dead, caput, etc. But he wasn't going down without a fight, was he?

Krawley is suggested to have gone down the same way another villain did: Balthazar the Faerie Hunter. When Balthazar was abandoned, he asked for some random Dark Faeries for help, but instead got showered with rocks and pebbles by the faeries. He wanted revenge badly, so he struggled to survive in the woods, and eventually got back at the faeries. Though he is considered to be a villain for bottling every faerie he meets, he is actually just another victim to the cruel faith of the woods.

This may have been applied for Krawley. He might've been abandoned for some reason and learned to survive the hard way. But according to the reputation of Neovia, no one there would've thrown rocks or hurt anyone. This leads me to the theory that he wasn't hurt by a Neovian, but abandoned by a Neovian.

Think about it. A mother suddenly realizes that she couldn't stand her Krawk son (maybe because he made the house explode with his science experiment?) and abandons him in the woods. During this time, Krawley might've been 5 or 6, which means that he was very aware of what happened. Traumatized and angered by the experience, he decides to go out and turn Neovia upside down for his mother's deeds. When one denizen trips, the whole town get pays for it.

The Potion

Or, as Neovians call it, the Hissi Oil. What was in the rancid liquid? Well, the answer may surprise you.

First off, the liquid ISN'T rancid. After a few interviews with a couple of Neovians (leaving them anonymous for good reasons) I've collected that the potion had a sweet taste once drunk, and began to bitter the tongue after a few minutes, before finally numbing the tongue of any feeling for three hours or so. This means, hypothetically, the ingredients Krawley used were sweet, sour, and harmful all at the same time.

After a few tests with a ghost friend of mine (well, you can call it sister, but she was also my captor a few articles before) I have successfully brewed a concoction that, as Neovians say, tasted exactly like the real thing.

The ingredients I used were actually quite simple to obtain, things that any average Neopian can make out of a few neopoints. Why? Think about it. If Krawley did get abandoned, the odds of him being able to afford a fortune for one bottle are of one to a billion. Plus, if he did get that much neopoints to make one, how in Neopia was he able to make enough bottles for a whole town?

As I said, the ingredients are quite simple. All he needed were three very cheap things. The first one can be bought in the Healing Springs for about a thousand neopoints or so (I'm too lazy to check D:): Essence of The Everlasting Apple. This essence explains the sweet flavor of the oil when drunk, and also keeps the effects of the potion... well, everlasting. Permanent. Something like that. Also, it may be a substitute of the Everlasting Apple, which the last time I checked was worth about three hundred thousand neopoints.

The second one, which explains the sour side flavor of the potion, can be obtained by simply visiting the bowels of the woods (yes, I had to say bowels). According to Neovians, the sourness of the potion wasn't too sour, but was sour enough to make them pucker. I'm sorry to say this, but that wasn't sourness. It was revolt.

Yes, the second ingredient to the potion is BOG WATER. Something a Krawk like Krawley can easily obtain, seeing as Krawks tend to be water's best friend.

Seeing as Krawley was fortunate enough to be raised in a place rich of the murkiest, muddiest water in Neopia instead of somewhere like Krawk Island, he had to take the chance. This also explains why the side effects to potion made town people grow insane (would you not run around blaming someone if you had to drink a bottle of bog water?)

And, lastly, the ingredient that washed all the tastes: tree branches. Now you may think that Krawley obtained this from some of the branches in the woods, but you're wrong. He had to use live tree branches, which can be taken by any tree in Neopia that isn't in the woods.

For example, he could've put up with all the trouble and go all the way to Mystery Island to take some branches. But, there is a big possibility that he simply had to walk over to the closest land near the woods (say, Brightvale) and snap off a tree branch and get on with his daily (extremely hostile takeover) life.

The ingredients are simple to obtain, BUT (hear the catch before saying that I turned a Neovian into a rampaging monster) it was missing something essential to what Krawley's potion should've had. The trigger to the amazing yet horrible effects.

This remained a secret because me and my friend weren't able to figure out what could turn a normal Neopian into a monster. "Uh... how 'bout a transmog?' I hear you say? Here's the catch. It gave a dream; it turned it into a nightmare. Transmogs instantly turned a normal Neopian into a monster. Obviously, we're looking for something that is actually used to ease Neopian life, and is very easy to obtain. There are no such things ever recorded to exist in Neopia. So, where did Krawley get it? I honestly don't know. But you can use the other ingredients as beverage!*

*not really

Curing the Town

Let's face it: Krawley is one to keep the story interesting.

By now you would be asking this for the millionth time. If he got revenge, why did he cure the town? There are thousands of reasons for this, but I only need one.

The key word is moral. Although he showed that he had none, he was still a Neopian. He still lived in Neopia, and he still had his doubts and regrets. Sure, he planned to turn everyone into freaks, but maybe when Mayor Thumburt raised his flipper to suggest summoning the Spirit of Slumber to lift the curse but instead vanished, it was just too much to watch.

Why didn't he lift the curse by the second the whole town vanished? As I said, he was one to keep the story interesting. Why undo all the things you did when you can make a random naïve little Usul do it all for you? Yes, it could've taken years, but by the time he would've had it all planned out!

So now you may be asking, "How did he know Gilly was going to cure everyone?" Here's your answer:

Where Is He Now?

The only one who knows is him and Fyora. But, I can tell you where he might've disappeared to.

How did he know Gilly was going to cure everyone? Ask yourself this: where in the woods can you ask someone about the future?

That's right; the sinister Krawk stayed in the gypsy camp during the time Neovia disappeared. Who knows? He might've been a gypsy himself! Maybe that's why he was abandoned, because no one wants a kid who could tell the future. I mean seriously, it's freaky.

Going a little too far? Give me another good reason how he could tell a Usul would save a town from a curse. More than zero? I thought not.

Basically, when he found out that there would be a Usul to save Neovia (or saw it through the crystal ball) he decided to leave the camp permanently to plan her arrival. What did he do? Simply put, he dressed back to his normal Neovian sinister self and led Gilly to the flower that supposedly cured the town.

But how did he know there was a flower there? Simple, he was the one who gave the flower to Nurse Lucy! Yes, he was Dr. Alexander! No matter how many times those editorials you read say otherwise, it's highly possible. Mr. Krawley was a charming man, and was highly confident about it. Dr. Alexander had the same characteristics, except seemed to be kinder and less suspicious as Krawley. What evidence do I have saying this is true? None, but what evidence do you have proving me wrong?

Even if Dr. Alexander and Mr. Krawley was a coincidence, the gypsies might have told them about the flower, or he proved a little research goes a long way. Either way, he successfully helped cure Neovia and calmed his moral.


Krawley could be anywhere, and if my theory of Krawley being Dr. Alexander is correct, anyone as well. But if I've been correct all this time, he is much less likely to strike again. If I was wrong, though, Krawley should've shown up and cursed another town with his so called Hissi Oil. But considering there haven't been any new discoveries of signs of a ghost town, Krawley may be in early retirement. It certainly does explain the sudden disappearance.

But, then again, who knows what might swallow the unwary?

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