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Five Secrets You Didn't Know About Sabre-X

by dr_tomoe


Well, if you've been looking at your calendar recently, you'll see that recently we've celebrated Tyrannian Victory Day. In case you were wondering about this holiday, it celebrates the day that the Tyrannian Army was victorious against the invading forces of the Monoceraptor. (As a side note, the Monoceraptor should not be confused with the Monocerous. The Monocerous is the creature that tells everyone about all the Wockys and Jubjubs he ate in a week in a random event that every Neopian wishes was a different random event.)

Anyway, all those years ago, the army of Tyrannia was victorious against the Monoceraptor. And part of the reason for their victory was due to the Lupe that Tyrannia has as the leader of it's Strategic War Division, Sabre-X. And now that Tyrannia is in a time of peace, Sabre-X now spends his time defending the Giant Omelette, making sure that his land's food supply is properly taken care of.

However, there is more to Sabre-X than meets the eye. It turns out that Tyrannia's resident Omelette Defender has some secrets that almost no one knows about. Secrets so shocking that they would rock the Neopian world if they got out. And now, here to rock the Neopian world, are five secrets you didn't know about Sabre-X.

1: The Beast in the Lair of the Beast is actually his Petpet

Very few are willing to go into the Lair of the Beast. But those who do go in are eventually greeted by a horrific creature, deep within the cave. The sheer sight of the creature is enough to send even the toughest of Neopets crying home to their mothers. And then after that crying to the Healing Springs because running in fear that quickly takes a toll on their health. But why does no one in Tyrannia do something about the creature? After all, if their army could defeat the Monoceraptor, surely it could defeat some beast in a cave. Why does Sabre-X not have the Tyrannian Army do something about it?

Because he doesn't want anything to hurt his precious Fluffy. (Note, as I do not know the name of his Petpet, I shall address him as Fluffy.) After all, any Neopian would be mad if someone suddenly decided to send an army after their precious Angelpuss or Candychan, and why would Sabre-X feel any different about Fluffy? Sure, it's larger and scarier than most Petpets, but that doesn't make any difference! Besides, Fluffy is a relatively easy Petpet to take care of. Sabre-X just lets it out every so often, and it goes hunting for its favorite food, Jelly Blumaroos.

2: He's secretly the Lupe Defender

For those of you familiar with the Defenders of Neopia, you might recognize that one of the lesser-known defenders is a masked green Lupe with a dashing red cape. Likewise, those of you familiar with Avatar collecting will recognize him as one that you can easily get and then will likely never ever use. But, that still leaves us with a mysterious masked green Lupe, and who else do we know to be a green Lupe? That's right! While Sabre-X isn't out defending the Omelette or planning the defense of Tyrannia, he vanishes into the night and fights crime and evil as the Lupe Defender, protector of the innocent and bastion of justice!

But now you might say that they can't possibly be one and the same! After all, Sabre-X has, for lack of a better term, very impressive dentistry, while the Lupe Defender doesn't. Well, all I have to say to that is that its a very well made mask that he is wearing, capable of hiding his teeth like that to protect his identity. And have you ever seen the two of them in the same place at the same time? No? I didn't think so.

3: He has a larger Usuki collection than Lawyerbot.

This one came as a surprise to me as well. Sabre-X, the head of the Strategic War Division of Tyrannia, and all-around tough guy, is a Usuki collector? As strange as it sounds, its true! Once Sabre-X is done planning out war defenses and making sure the Giant Omelette is protected and returns to his home, he immediately goes into a secret underground room in his hut where he has a vast collection of Usuki Dolls! Hundreds upon hundreds of Usuki Dolls adorn the stone shelves he has set up, and he has every single accessory known to exist, even the ultra rare ones!

Why does he keep his love of Usuki Dolls a secret? He's got an image and reputation to uphold! After all, if you were say... Dr Sloth, and were looking for a nice easy land to invade, which one would you go for? The one that was defended by the a no-nonsense commander who defeated all the monsters in his path, or the one that was defended by the commander who plays with Usuki Dolls? Well... okay, if you were Dr Sloth you'd invade both of them, but the point is that when you're in charge of an army, you have to make sure that you provide an image of toughness as a matter of defense. And as such, Sabre-X's love of Usuki Dolls must remain a secret, lest he bring Tyrannia into danger.

4: Balthazar is actually his younger brother.

If you did a spit-take while reading that, feel free to get something new to drink. I'll wait.

Back? Alright, good. Because it's true! As the story famously goes, Balthazar was left abandoned by his family at the edge of the Haunted Woods as a cub. But that isn't the full story! The truth is that Balthazar wasn't abandoned, but that it was a practical joke by Sabre-X while they were cubs. Sabre-X was to have young Balthazar stay there, and then later he would jump out and scare him while wearing a white sheet and pretending to be a ghost. But that's when it went horribly wrong, when a group of Dark Faeries began to attack the young Lupe, and drove him deeper and deeper into the woods!

As much as he tried, Sabre-X was unable to locate the young Balthazar. It seemed as if the Haunted Woods had swallowed him up and he would never be found again. And soon it became too dark to continue searching, and Sabre-X was forced to abandon his younger brother, only able to hope that he would one day return. But he never did. Balthazar believed he was abandoned and then began a quest of revenge against all of the Faeries, and Sabre-X believed him to be lost to the Woods. Which brings us to number five.

5: Sabre-X secretly supports Team Haunted Woods over Team Tyrannia in the Altador Cup.

This one is the most scandalous and shocking of them all. One of the most prominent Tyrannian figures, and a high-ranking member on its council of elders, doesn't support his own land in the Altador Cup! However, there has been evidence that every year, when the cup rolls around, Sabre-X is suspiciously absent from the stands of Team Tyrannia games, while unconfirmed reports have him spotted in the bleachers at games where Team Haunted Woods are playing at.

Now why would Sabre-X be in the stands for the Haunted Woods? Perhaps he's hoping his long lost younger brother would be there, and there could be a tearful reunion? Or perhaps he is scoping out the competition? Or perhaps the most logical guess would be that he supports Team Haunted Woods to win the cup! Sabre-X: Top Tyrannian figure, and proud Haunted Woods supporter.

In conclusion, Sabre-X is one of the most well-known and visible member of the land of Tyrannia. Anyone who had dared to try and sneak past him for a second slice of Omelette has surely come across him. And now, the dark secrets that he has tried to keep from the public have been revealed! But it just goes to show that, no matter how well that you think you know a famous Neopian figure, they have hidden secrets as well. Now if you'll excuse me, it appears as if several members of the Tyrannian Army are just outside my home. I wonder what they need?

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