Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars Circulation: 188,938,732 Issue: 545 | 18th day of Hunting, Y14
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

The Older Players' Guide to an Updated Neopia

by cmarie159


There's thousands of us, users who delightfully made their accounts when they were as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as their beloved Lupe. We cried together, cheered together, held our breaths as one tiny mistake on the boards might have sent us to Iceland... together. Then, we hit those years where Neopets wasn't "cool" because we had a "social life". We began ignoring our pets, heartless to the sound of their bleating (because apparently, pets bleat like lambs).

And then, somewhere at the end of our last year of high school, or when college became too much, we stumbled back into Neopia. We blinked, trying to adjust our eyes to the monitor, and asked ourselves, "why did we ever leave?!". But what was this new toolbar? Where was our inventory?! WHERE ARE ALL THE JOKES ABOUT ASPARAGUS ON THE NEWS?!? We fell to our knees, shaking our fists at Fyora, only to find out that Faerieland wasn't even above our heads anymore. Hyperventilating, we spent the next few hours huddled in the corner, crying about our lives. Afterwards, we sat on our front porches and shook our fists at those darn children playing on our yard, bitter about the changes.

It's time to sit up and dry your eyes, fellow older users, it's time to embrace these changes. I'm here to share with you some of the things I had to learn when I came back here myself.

1) You have to feed your pets. Really.

There was once a time your pets could be at "dying" and there would be no repercussions: it is no longer so. Unless your pet is unconverted (meaning that it has the original artwork and not the... wonderful updated artwork), you are at risk of making your pet very angry or very sad. "So what", you may think to yourself, "I am like Dr. Sloth. I care not about my pets' emotions!". You might care, however, if you knew about a new Random Event. If your pet is very angry, it can randomly turn red. Also, if your pet is very sad, it can turn blue. This is not a big deal if you have basic colours, but those of us who have spent a ridiculous amount of neopoints making our pets pretty (or manly or whatever) will be heartbroken if our pets turned back to boring blue or raging red (give me a break, there's not a lot of "r" adjectives). You can go to the Soup Kitchen, of course. Their maximum amount of neopoints in order to be fed went from 1,000 to 3,000. There's also the giant omelette, and the *nonexistent* giant jelly. Which doesn't exist. It was quite silly for me to suggest such a thing. *Flinches from meepits*

2) The economy is inflated to what it used to be.

There are a handful of reasons why this is. The first reason, of course, is Habitarium. It is a new game, very similar to another popular game on a social network. At level 50, which is the maximum level of the game, it is possible to get 100k+ in a single day (you probably want to get started in that game, lots of neopoints to be had). Another reason is Key Quest, a board game in which you can win keys, which unlock prizes. The gold key sometimes has awesome things such as Lab Map pieces and Paint Brushes. There are also things called "wearables". They sound exactly like what they are--you can put them on and wear them. They range from fairly inexpensive to completely unbuyable to NeoCash only. They are also the reason why a Pile of Dung costs 10 NP now. Some omelettes are worth 2,000 neopoints, as I found out by randomly shop wizarding stuff in my SDB. Speaking of the SDB, you might want to look through yours. When I got back, I found lots of advent calender items from Y6 and Y7 that are now worth a pretty penny.

3) Wearables deflated some Paint Brushes.

It's true--the pretty clothes have plummeted the price of some Paint Brushes. The Baby Paint Brush, once the most coveted of the Paint Brushes, now can be bought for 600k. However, the wearables ARE fairly pretty. I resisted buying them for a while, but I eventually caved. There are ways of getting the wearables without buying them, though (that aren't cheating. Cheating is wrong. Shame on you). Site events often give away wearables. The Festival of Neggs, which just passed, happens every year. I probably received 6 or 7 wearables for just participating every day.

4) To Neocash or Not to Neocash?

Premium has existed since 2006 (I believe), but the Neocash Mall is fairly new. Basically, you buy cards in stores that have a certain about of Neocash on them (1000 NC=10.00$USD). You don't ever NEED to buy this stuff, but it helps fund the site and therefore exists. It is a choice, don't worry.

4) TNT has stricter filters now.

You may say one innocent thing, and it may alert the Chia Policeman and then all Moltara breaks loose. Mind you, these filters are in place because Neopets is now aimed at a younger audience than 10 years ago. When in doubt, don't say it. Also, as good-natured as it may seem, do not point users to guides that are not on Neopets. Although there are some good guides not on the site, they are not controlled by TNT and therefore might contain scams. Instead of TNT going through every site in order to ensure our safety, they simply put a blanket ban on mentioning these sites. Also, u*ing the * d*esn't h*de you from the f*lters. Just play nice and follow the rules.

5) Click your neopoints to get to your inventory.

I can't tell you how long it took me to find my inventory *insert exasperated smiley here*. If you click your neopoints, right next to your username, you will find your inventory. :DD

6) Faerieland is no longer in the sky.

There was a plot or something, things happened, it crashed, and now it's on the actual world. Who knows, maybe another land will attempt to take its now empty place in the sky. I kind of miss Faerieland in the sky... it was so pretty. *tries to hold back tears of sorrow*.

Well, that's all I can really think of for now, but I hope I helped you tremendously. Or entertained you. Or at least didn't bore you to death. Well, thanks for coming! There's asparagus and slushies in the lobby, feel free to take advantage of these and chat with your fellow players!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Greenglade: Part Five
"Since when has it been our duty to stop her?" Akorri replied, his eyes wide...

by aquadaika


Food For Thought
Food puns are the pun-iest!

by wolflova


Hiding the Clockwork Negg: Part Three
"Listen, we should talk. We're the only ones without a negg, so..."

by seiya_from_ashes


Things Best Remembered: Part Eight
But she had to get off of the ground somehow. Sure, her yelling could bring a Guardian, but it could also bring help, which she really needed...

by chimie119

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.