Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 187,881,945 Issue: 519 | 4th day of Storing, Y13
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The Shop Wizard on Strike

by frosted_chooch


What makes the Shop Wizard a wizard? Where does this magic come from and how is it sustained without him being a faerie? And are you really sure he's giving you the best price? It is Neopia after all.

Upon trying to find answers, I discovered that not much is really known about this elusive JubJub. He is most difficult to find, buried among huts in the Neopian Marketplace, one wrong turn and you're buying overpriced omelettes and piles of dung. If you can eventually find his hat shaped hut, he will want to know what you are looking for.

Of course he says he searches a different part of the market each time, but can we really believe him? Many times I have searched for items, and happily believe the Shop Wizard has found the best price for me, but then I wander to another shop and find the same item, but cheaper than what I had paid. Even asking him to refresh his search sometimes only gets worse results. I wonder if he gets a percentage of the profits?

A search of the Neopedia only raises more questions. There is no entry for the Shop Wizard, no clue about his existence, not even his real name. Why is he kept out of the spotlight, but used by most Neopians at some time or other?

It is rumoured that he is in cahoots with the faeries. If the faeries give you a quest, he is strangely silent, not wanting to offer a hand, only willing to push you out his door and show you the way to the quest boards so you can ask for help there. *shudder* Once you leave, you can hear the Wizard and the quest faeries laughing at your troubles.

The Shop Wizard has a unique power; he is not a faerie, but perhaps he trained under them. His magic is not perfect, however, and causes him to tire quite quickly. Once he tires out, he needs a rest before he will try to help you again. I suppose he may stretch out on the beaches of Mystery Island for a relax, or goes to the Poogle Races in Faerieland to blow off some steam.

The Wizard does have a greater, super power, but it's reserved only for the Neopians who consider themselves "Premium". With this great power, he will find the absolute cheapest price in Neopia the first time, but he tires out much more quickly then, and is only able to do a few searches this way. Though if you ask really nice, you can ask him to search for the price only of an item and he will bring you back an average of the 10 lowest prices of the item. This power too, is limited to a few searches.

He is very particular on what he is willing to search in super snipe mode. He refuses to search for paint brushes, morphing potions or secret laboratory maps. He may want to keep the deal deals he finds to himself and sell in his super secret sniped shop.

What would happen in Neopia, if the Shop Wizard took a vacation, or went on a longer strike than the few minutes of rest he allows himself in an hour? Don't tell Dr Sloth; he may get the idea to neo-nap him and cause chaos in all of Neopia. No Shop Wizard would mean the economy could fail! Overpriced junk in every shop. Faerie quests could very quickly get out of hand and that shiny new snow globe you wanted to buy would disappear from your sight.

Of course the poor Shop Wizard would never let that happen, or would he? Every time he takes a break, he gets yelled at, pleaded with or offered some tempting baubles for his collection, if only he could squeeze in that one or two or ten more searches for you! A JubJub can only take so much! His short hourly vacations may not make up for the mistreatment that comes to him every time he gets a little tired.

Maybe we should all be a little nicer to the Shop Wizard. He makes our day go a little better, so he should be allowed to relax from time to time. Searching those millions of shops would take a lot of energy out of you. When you next use him, give him a big "Thank You" for looking, and maybe a big sparkly smile, it may shock him into being nicer to you, and you find that Tonu Transmogrification Potion in a shop for only 100 NP that he was thinking of keeping for himself! He may even decide to work extra hard for you and make you a Neo-bazillionaire with all the great deals he can find for you! Imagine...

But if he does, remember that when he gets tired, please let him have a good rest. There is only one Shop Wizard and Neopia needs him, badly. When the faeries give you a quest and he shakes his head sadly at you, remember, it's for your own good; he wants you to be sociable and ask another Neopian for help. Go find what you need elsewhere, and then when you come back to the Shop Wizard, you realize how much you truly missed him! He is truly a gem of Neopia.

Oh and hey, TNT? Listen! He is seriously missing around Neopia, no Neopedia entry, no Neoboard smilie, and no avatar! His stamp is pretty, his book is cheap, his plushie is super cuddly, and his Neodeck card is rare, but those are only the tip of the iceberg. What about Shop Wizard wearables? We can't leave him out of that neopoint maker! Merchandising is where it's at!

And to you Mr Fantastically, Incredible, Great Shop Wizard of Neopia, I bow down to your greatness! Thank you for the great deals, snipes and the learning experience of the Neopian economy. I've done what I can for your cause. Thank you!    

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