Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 186,992,754 Issue: 513 | 23rd day of Gathering, Y13
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Getting Ready For The Championships: An Inside Scoop


by sonny_iz_cute

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What’s fast paced, involves a large group of your closest Neopets friends, and is bound to get you wet by the end?

Gormball, of course, the ball tossing sensation that’s sweeping across the nation! Forget Frumball and... Zurroball, is it? Neither of these two games are half as exciting as Gormball. You don’t see a day dedicated to the annual Frumball tournament now, do you? And what exactly is a Frumball anyway? Gormball is totally the way to go, and if you don’t believe me, why not ask any one of these eight Gormball superstars!

You know them, you love them, you stay up late wondering which one will be left in the circle; it’s none other than: Thyassa the Chia, Ember the Fire Faerie, Gargarox Isafuhlarg, Ursula the Usul, Brian Scorchio, Farvin III the Alien Aisha, Zargrold the COOL Grundo and last, but certainly not least, Kevin the Korbat.

However, of these beloved eight, there’s one that even after all these years of hardcore Gormball fanning, we still don’t know too much about, so let’s take a few moments and get to know our new friend Kevin.

Thrown in as a last minute replacement for Dr. Sloth, Kevin at first glance looks just like your ordinary happy, sweet Korbat in his blue and green button down shirt, but then you remember he was a replacement for that evil Dr. Sloth and you get this strange feeling that maybe Kevin isn’t that happy-go-lucky Korbat we always thought he was. – Remember, friends, just because you work for the evil green guy doesn’t necessary mean you’re evil too.

No one knows exactly when the Gormball craze began, but you can be rest assured, Kevin has been there since the beginning and has showed no signs of tampering with gameplay for the sake of Dr. Sloth. Not necessarily the best player of the eight, Kevin still has his loyal fan base, many of those being those loyal Sloth fans you find yourself feeling uncomfortable around as they get all giddy over the ball blowing up on Ember. But who is that Kevin the Korbat, you ask? Well, that is what I’m here to tell you. Keep reading this article for a [top secret] interview with none other than, no, not Dr. Sloth, but Kevin the Korbat.

NT: Hello, Kevin, and thanks for meeting with me.

Kevin: -darts his small beady eyes around the room- There’s no hidden camera in here is there?

NT: Oh, no, of course not; we don’t have that kind of technology advancement at the Neopian Times.

Kevin: Good, good.

NT: Okay, so, Kevin, everyone knows you were Dr. Sloth’s replacement, but no one knows why, so do you think you could fill us in on the details?

Kevin: Shhh, don’t say his name too loudly.

NT: Sorry about that... But back to those details, can you tell our readers how you got involved in Gormball?

Kevin: I was a last minute replacement.

NT: Well, yes, we understand that, but what my readers would love to know is why? We all know Ember joined to prove herself to all the other faeries, Ursula was born with a Gormball in her hands and Farvin III has those crazy alien Gormball skills, but what about Kevin? How did you fall into your place as a Gormball player?

Kevin: I was a last minute replacement.

NT: How about a different question then? How are you preparing yourself for the Championships?

Kevin: Drink Neocola.

NT: So you drink Neocola to prepare for the big game? Interesting; any special flavor?

Kevin: Neocola.

NT: So the original kind then? Personally I’m a fan of the raspberry flavor myself. So what do you think of your competition this year?

Kevin: Raspberry is good too.

NT: Yes, it is, but what about the competition? I hear Ursula has been training on Mount Usalin again and Thyassa still hasn’t lost that number one title. How do you feel you’ll do this year?

Kevin: Dr. Sloth says Kevin will win.

NT: It’s good to see he has such faith in you. I hope the Neocola diet works for you. Personally for me, I feel all bloated after a whole can, but whatever works best for you. Now I hear Brian the Scorchio has a few new tricks up his sleeves this year; how do you feel about him being allowed to compete again this year?

Kevin: –eyes dart around the room once more- I hear him coming, quick before he sees you.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for you; sorry, there’s not a whole lot to go off from really, but hey, he likes Raspberry Neocola and we can be confident that any theories about Kevin not being a replacement for Dr. Sloth are false. The green guy probably wishes he hadn’t skipped out on the huge action figure market, but I’m sure it will only be time before he comes out with his own commemorative action figure, because you can never have too much stuff with his giant grin staring back at you.

So whether you’re standing around the Gormball ring making sure you don’t get too close just in case the ball pops you on you, or you’re just sitting back, watching the championships from the comfort of your Neohome, remember to root for your favorite, whomever they may be and don’t forget to just go out and play some Gormball with your friends, because what’s more fun than tossing around a ball that’s liable to explode in your face? Just be sure to read your instructor’s manual before operating the highly, non-technical Gormball.

**Warning** you may get wet playing, watching or even talking about Gormball. Carry an extra pair of clothes with you in case you lose. The writers and editorial staff of the Neopian Times are in no way responsible for any overly soggy articles of clothing or any resulting cases of the Sneezles or D’achoo that may come from walking around in said overly soggy clothes.

 
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