 The Altador Cup Letters
by mystie06
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Author's Note: The following neomails were obtained from an unnamed source *cough*Hanso*cough* who, ah, liberated them from the Neopians mentioned below for an undisclosed fee. I present them here, figuring that you, dear reader, might like to know what some of the faeries were doing during the Altador Cup.
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From: King Altador To: Queen Fyora Subject: Altador Cup wager? Fyora,
I was glad to hear that you have accepted my invitation to be present at the opening ceremonies for Altador Cup VI next week. It will be a pleasure to see you again, and in rather more pleasant circumstances than our last meeting. I trust the rebuilding of Faerieland is still going well?
I thought perhaps we might agree on a little wager to make this year's Altador Cup a bit more interesting. Say, if Team Altador finishes higher than Team Faerieland, then you will wear an Altador jersey for a day, and if Team Faerieland finishes higher than Team Altador, I will wear a Faerieland team jersey for a day. What say you?
Oh, and before I forget, the Altador Cup Committee would like me to remind you and the other faeries that helping or sabotaging any of the teams, by any means magical or nonmagical, will not be tolerated. Your friend, Altador ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: King Altador Subject: Re: Altador Cup wager Altador,
I accept your wager. Shall we raise the stakes a bit, say, to a week instead of a day? Yes, the rebuilding of Faerieland is coming along well, albeit slowly. Thank you, by the way, for finding the statue of the Darkest Faerie and returning her to me. I will send out a memo to all the faeries, reminding them not to interfere with the Altador Cup matches in any way; I promise I will do what I can to prevent any incidents, but you know how faeries are! I assure you that if any of my faeries do interfere with the Cup, they will face punishment from me as well as from the Altador Cup Committee. I look forward to seeing you at the opening ceremonies next week. Yours, Fyora ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: All Faeries Subject: Altador Cup Greetings, my faerie sisters!
As you are no doubt aware, Altador Cup VI is almost upon us, so I would like to remind you of a few things. First, you are permitted to attend any of the matches you wish, provided you do so on your own time. You are also allowed to use crystal balls, scrying bowls, or other methods of viewing the matches from the comfort of your own homes, provided it doesn't interfere with your normal duties. Abuse of these privileges will result in the loss of your travel/scrying privileges for the remainder of the Altador Cup. Second, Psellia and Siyana will once again be taking bets on the final rankings of all the teams, so make sure to submit your wagers to them before midnight NST on the 1st day of the month of Relaxing. As usual, I will submit my wager exactly at midnight, so that none of you feel pressured to choose the same teams I do. Third, remember that you are not obligated to root for Team Faerieland just because you are faeries! While I will, of course, be rooting for Team Faerieland, I know that many of you wish to support other teams, and that is perfectly fine! On that note, remember that the Altador Cup is supposed to be a friendly tournament amongst the lands of Neopia (emphasis on friendly). Thus, King Altador asked me to remind you of the following: Do not sabotage any of the opposing teams in any way, magical or nonmagical. Do not assist your team in any way, magical or nonmagical. The exceptions to this are cheering for your team during the matches, wearing the colors of your team, decorating your Neohome and/or Neogarden in your team's colors, and anything else that doesn't give your team an unfair advantage. Do not spike the slushies served at the Altador Cup with any sort of potions whatsoever. For those of you who give out quests, you are not allowed to give overly-hard quests to supporters of teams other than your own, nor are you allowed to favor those who support your team by giving them unfairly easy quests. Friendly wagering is perfectly acceptable, though again the emphasis here is on friendly. Celebrating your team's victories is perfectly fine, but please do not celebrate by blowing things up, turning others into Mortogs, sending hordes of rabid Petpets running through the streets, or other harmful activities--do I make myself clear, Jhudora? For those seers out there: if you choose to foresee the outcome of a match, please keep that information to yourselves! It really spoils it for the rest of us if you go around telling everyone which team is going to win. Also remember that you are not allowed to place wagers on matches you have foreseen the outcome of. Finally, I would like to address the rumors flying around about my wager with King Altador. Yes, he and I have a little wager going on, no, it does not involve an outrageous amount of neopoints. We have merely agreed that in the event of Team Altador being ranked higher than Team Faerieland at the end of the Altador Cup I will wear an Altador jersey for a week, and if Team Faerieland ends up ranked higher than Team Altador King Altador will wear a Faerieland jersey for a week. This, by the way, is an excellent example of the sort of 'friendly wagering' I mentioned above. I hope you have an enjoyable Altador Cup, and remember: the point of all this is to have fun! Sincerely, Fyora Faerie Queen ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: Jhudora Subject: Which team? Greetings, sister,
Which team are you supporting this year? I thought I might bet against them, seeing as it should be easy neopoints; I mean, any team you support will probably be as much of a loser as you are, right? I, of course, am rooting for Meridell, though I hope Faerieland at least does better than Altador this year--I would love to see King Altador wearing a green and purple jersey! You did receive, and read, Fyora's memo, right? I really don't want to have to deal with another horde of rabid Meepits running amuck in my glade, like last year. Could you please celebrate your team's victories in some way that doesn't harm me or my glade this time? ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: Jhudora To: Illusen Subject: Re: Which team Illusen,
Amazingly, I actually decided to answer your pathetic letter, mostly because it gives me a chance to rub salt into your old wounds (metaphorically, anyway). I will be supporting Darigan Citadel in this year's Altador Cup, as I have done for the past five years. They tend to do fairly well, and even won the Cup back in Y9, whereas Meridell has yet to even place in the top three, if I recall. Also, Darigan Citadel managed to destroy your pathetic little homeland in at least one war, and Lord Darigan even defeated you once upon a time. Those sound like good reasons to support their team in the Altador Cup, if you ask me. Sorry about the rabid Meepits; they were supposed to be rabid Mortogs, but there's only one syllable difference between the two spells and I had a sore throat that day from yelling at stupid questers. I did have a good laugh, though, watching in my crystal ball as you ran around your glade in a panic while the Meepits destroyed your garden. It'll be hard to top that, though of course I'll give it a good try. Your evil sister, Jhudora P.S.-Go Darigan Citadel! ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: Jhudora Subject: Ha! Jhudora,
Have you seen the results from yesterday's match? We beat you in Yooyuball AND Slushie Slinger, and tied you in Shootout Showdown! How does it feel to lose to the team from my "pathetic little" homeland? ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: Jhudora To: Illusen Subject: CURSE YOU, MERIDELL!! Illusen,
All right, yes, your team did pretty well against my team. We'll face you again in round two, though, so be prepared to lose! -Jhudora P.S. That spell you put on your last letter that turned my nails red and blue? Not funny, not funny at all. You realize this means, if not war, then at least epic retaliation. ------------------------------
From: King Skarl To: Queen Fyora Subject: Illusen Your Most Gracious Majesty,
I regret to inform you that earlier today I received reports from some of my subjects that something had happened to Illusen, the beloved faerie guardian of my realm. I sent Sir Jeran and Lady Lisha to investigate, and they returned with the news that Illusen's glade was empty, save for one rather forlorn Darigan Yooyu, whom Lisha suspects is a transformed Illusen. As Lisha, the greatest sorceress in my kingdom, remains baffled as to how to restore Illusen to her proper form, I humbly ask you to please come and reverse this foul magic, if at all possible. Most sincerely, King Skarl of Meridell ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: King Skarl Subject: Re: Illusen Dear King Skarl,
I am deeply distressed that such a thing should happen to any of your subjects, and I will deal with this matter immediately. I have a strong suspicion as to who would do such a thing--do you want me to turn the culprit over to you for punishment, or would you prefer me to deal with her? Sincerely, Queen Fyora ------------------------------
From: King Skarl To: Queen Fyora Subject: Re: Illusen Your Most Gracious Majesty,
Thank you for your prompt response to my last letter. My subjects and I would especially like to thank you for restoring Illusen to her proper form--Meridell just isn't the same without her. As to your last letter, I, too, have my suspicions as to who would want to harm Illusen, and I would much rather leave the matter in your capable hands; I quite like Illusen, but that sister of hers...*shudder* Most sincerely, King Skarl of Meridell ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: Jhudora Subject: Illusen Jhudora,
I was just called over to Meridell because someone had turned Illusen into a Darigan Yooyu. Did I not make myself clear in my memo about the Altador Cup that you are not supposed to do this sort of thing to your sister? In order to compensate Illusen for the emotional trauma caused by being turned into a Darigan Yooyu, and to compensate myself for the time and magic required to reverse the aforementioned spell, I hereby fine you 700,000 neopoints for willfully harming another faerie, said fine to be paid in full by no later than midnight of the 9th day of Relaxing, Y13. If you do not pay the fine by the specified day and time I will send the Battle Faerie to collect it from you. Regretfully, Queen Fyora ------------------------------
From: Jhudora To: Queen Fyora Subject: Re: Illusen My Queen,
700,000 NEOPOINTS?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FRILLY LITTLE MIND?! Where on Neopia am I supposed to get that kind of money? Anyway, in your memo you listed things I am not allowed to do when my team WINS a match--you never said anything about what I can and cannot do when my team LOSES. Your somewhat loyal subject, Jhudora ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: Jhudora Subject: memo revision Jhudora,
I thought it was self-evident that the things listed as not to be done when your team wins also applied to when your team loses. Since you seem to need some clarification on that subject, I will state it clearly: in the event of your team losing a match, your are NOT allowed to turn anyone into a Petpet or do anything that would cause harm of any sort to any faerie, Neopet, or Petpet, or to the property of any faerie, Neopet, or Petpet. Do I make myself clear, Jhudora? I would also like to remind you that you promised, some years ago, not to do anything to Illusen that would force me to intervene or cause a war between Meridell and Faerieland. If you have forgotten that promise I have a legal document to that effect, signed by yourself and three witnesses, in my possession. By the way, thank you for paying your fine promptly. I have received complaints over the last few days about you asking for more unbuyable items than usual in your quests of late, and I have chosen to believe that this was necessary in order for you to come up with the neopoints for your fine. I trust, however, that this will not continue. Sincerely, Queen Fyora ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: The Negg Faerie Subject: rotten neggs Kari,
Do you by any chance have, oh, a dozen or so rotten neggs lying around that you need to get rid of? If so, I'd be happy to take them off your hands for you... ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: The Negg Faerie To: Illusen Subject: Re: rotten neggs Illusen,
What in Neopia do you need a dozen rotten neggs for? Wait, don't answer that, I don't want to know. Yes, as it so happens my apprentice managed to spoil about two dozen neggs the other day, and I have yet to get rid of them. I'll leave them in a sack behind the Neggery for you to pick up; just don't tell anyone where you got them, all right? I don't want to get involved in your feud with your sister. -Kari ------------------------------
From: Jhudora To: Illusen Subject: revenge Negging my castle, Illusen? How very mature. I shall, of course, tell Fyora about this--she won't be pleased that you negged my castle just because Darigan Citadel beat Meridell in yesterday's Altador Cup match. Or have you forgotten about that memo Fyora sent out before the Altador Cup started? Your evil sister, Jhudora ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: Jhudora Subject: Re: revenge Jhudora,
Your team's victory over mine in the second round was only an excuse to negg your castle--I was trying to get back at you for turning me into a Darigan Yooyu a few weeks ago. And yes, I realize that went against what Fyora had said in that memo, but at the time that didn't seem to matter. ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: Illusen Subject: Jhudora My dear Illusen,
I just received a complaint from Jhudora that you were the one responsible for covering the front of her castle with rotten neggs. Was this really necessary? I expect this sort of behavior from Jhudora, but not from you. In any case, I am afraid I shall have to fine you 300,000 neopoints for damaging another faerie's home, said fine to be paid in full no later than the 6th day of Swimming, Y13. Regretfully, Queen Fyora ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: Jhudora Subject: hair dye Jhudora,
The old purple-hair-dye-in-the-shampoo trick again? Really? I would have thought you could have come up with something new. This is in retaliation for the neggs, right? ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: Jhudora To: Illusen Subject: Re: hair dye Illusen,
Perhaps I stick with that old trick because it works; you fall for it every time. Besides, this time I made sure to use a shade of purple that exactly matches the purple on the Team Faerieland insignia, so you can claim you're rooting for Team Faerieland in the last few matches of this year's Altador Cup. Evilly yours, Jhudora ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: Jhudora Subject: Re: hair dye Jhudora,
Very funny. ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: Illusen Subject: fine Dear Illusen,
Thank you for paying your fine promptly. I trust that this will be the last time I will have to reprimand you or your sister during Altador Cup VI. Sincerely, Queen Fyora ------------------------------
From: King Altador To: Queen Fyora Subject: Re: Altador Cup wager Fyora,
It seems you have won our little wager, old friend. I just received the brackets for the final matches, and Team Faerieland is in the fourth bracket while Team Altador is in the consolation bracket; no matter how our respective teams do in the finals, Team Faerieland will be ranked higher than Team Altador, if only by one place. Your dear friend, Altador ------------------------------
From: Queen Fyora To: King Altador Subject: Re: Altador Cup wager Altador,
Well, I suppose I should be glad my team isn't coming in dead last this year. Enclosed is a Team Faerieland jersey for you to wear for one whole week--I've sent instructions to Siyana to get me a picture of you wearing it. If it makes you feel any better, at least it's not one of the purple and pink jerseys from previous years. Your old friend, Fyora ------------------------------
From: Illusen To: The Soup Faerie Subject: your bet? Adelaide,
I was in Altador yesterday for the final match between Meridell and Tyrannia, and you will never believe who I ended up sitting next to in the Colosseum: Psellia of Altador! I couldn't believe it! I mean, she's one of the most famous faeries in Neopia! Anyway, during a lull in the game (the faerie Yooyu decided to fly off the field to grab a slushie) we started talking, and she told me that you had actually come to Altador and placed a bet with her before the start of the Cup! I thought you didn't pay any attention to the Altador Cup. Who'd you pick to win? Psellia wouldn't tell me. ~Illusen ------------------------------
From: The Soup Faerie To: Illusen Subject: Re: my bet Illusen,
I'm glad you got to go to Altador this year to watch your team play; who watched your glade while you were there? How'd Team Meridell do this year, anyway? You're right, normally I don't pay much attention to the Altador Cup, what with Neopia Central not having a Yooyuball team, but I was able to take one of my rare days off just before the Altador Cup started, so I went to Altador. I was really just wandering around aimlessly when I bumped into Psellia, and, well, one thing led to another and pretty soon I found myself agreeing to place a bet. I didn't really know anything about any of the teams, so I just chose randomly. I ended up betting that Team Virtupets would win first place, with Team Krawk Island coming in second and Kreludor taking third place. I've been really busy since then, and I haven't had time to keep track of how the various teams have been doing. Do you happen to know who won? Your friend, Adelaide
The End
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