I Wish

      My father loved puzzles of all sorts, especially anagrams. His actual name was... But I can't remember his name. I can only remember that he renamed himself an anagram of "evil death." My father thought it would be a hilarious joke, I guess. I didn't understand it; I had not inherited his passion for anagrams.

     *.^.*.^.*

      I was at one of my father's birthday parties, so many years ago. The castle was lavishly decorated for the occasion. There were colorful balloons floating around, glittering lights lit by faeries that came to observe the event, and a general atmosphere of cheerfulness. Everyone in the Haunted Woods was invited, and of course everyone came. It had become something like a contest each year to see if anyone could give my father a puzzle he couldn't solve. No puzzle was too hard yet.

      After some time stuffing my face with chocolate cake, I watched a long line grow from my father's room. I could hear the Neopets closest chuckling at others' attempts, though not without a noticeable hint of apprehension. Soon, others would be chuckling at them, after all.

      Then the Yurble showed up.

      I didn't recognize the Yellow pet. He had a plain, but always smiling face. He happily chattered about this and that with the other guests. There was absolutely no reason for me to think the Yurble had any bad intentions. Still, I carefully watched him. You could never be too careful.

      Then he walked over to where I was sitting. I immediately started eating cake again to throw off any suspicion the Yurble might have of me.

      "You don't look particularly happy right now," said the Yurble.

      "Oh, no! I'm perfectly fine, but thanks for caring."

      "Mm... No, I think you seem unhappy. You're one of Eliv's servants, aren't you?" Before I could say that I wasn't, he continued, "You must not like your job very much, with all of this extreme decorating and bribing faeries and watching others mess up your hard work and cleaning up everything afterwards..."

     What. This Yurble must be insane under that plain face! What right had he to randomly accuse me of not liking my job as a servant?! He didn't even let me answer his own question! I kept my angry thoughts bottled up, though, and let the Yurble keep talking.

      "I have a job offer for you. All you have to do is give Eliv this puzzle." He held out a scrap of paper, which I carefully took. He then dropped a bag of neopoints heavy enough to make me gasp for air onto my lap and walked away, exuding confidence.

      I hastily unfolded the little scrap of paper, examining its contents. It was a simple anagram: "drsow." There was no way it could harm my father.

     But it did.

     *.^.*.^.*

      "Father!" I yelled, running into the room.

      "Hmm? What is it, dear?"

      I explained what had happened.

      "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" My father started to hyperventilate from his extreme laughing. "I have to find this funny Yurble! But here, let me have that paper." I handed it over, and my father started laughing again. "It's too easy! Of course I can solve this! It's 'words'! Wait, no... It could also be 'sword'..." He started muttering to himself absently. "There has to be only one correct solution, but if it has... it must be a trick question of some kind... there are two... is there invisible ink on here?!..."

      I left my father alone for a while. Some anagrams had more than one solution; he must eventually realize that.

     *.^.*.^.*

      Nothing much happened for a long time. Each day I would visit my father to see if he had accepted that the anagram had two solutions. Each day he would more and more absently wave me away, muttering to himself. After a year or two, I gave up and left him alone.

     The other denizens of the castle noticed how my father was. They said he looked like he was going mad. It was worrying, but I knew I could do nothing to help. The servants slowly left, one by one or in small groups. It wasn't really that long before I was the only other person still living in the castle.

     *.^.*.^.*

     One day I woke up with the feeling that I had to visit my father. There was no reason I felt this way, but I listened to my instincts and peeked inside the library. My father basically lived there, trying to search for an answer in some long-forgotten, dusty tome. I sneezed a few times before I could start looking for him.

     "Father!" I called, not that I expected an answer. I heard groaning from behind a shelf on my left. But there was no one there. I wandered around the library until I found a very tired-looking Kacheek in the very back of the room. Its eyes were empty and surrounded by wrinkles. Its rotting clothing was covered in spyderwebs and a thin layer of dust. This used to be my father, I knew, but it definitely wasn't now. There was no life present except for me.

     But suddenly I felt something cold behind me. I spun around to see a ghost; all that was truly left of Eliv Thade. It didn't recognize me. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and fled. I doubted that the ghost would even care.

     *.^.*.^.*

      While I was on the path leading to Neovia, I saw the Yurble again.

      "Good work, though I did not expect you to stay there so long. Still, I will enjoy having you as an assistant." The Yellow pet pulled out a small package, probably some instructions. The Yurble then walked away from me a second time; the last time he would ever do so. I tossed the package into a patch of mud nearby; there was no way I would work for this Yurble. Not after what he had done.

      I did some odd jobs here and there; wandering around Neopia for a bit before someone would ask me to help them with something or other. I had no goals; no reason to keep existing, yet I did.

      I know I betrayed many, never being loyal to any Neopet or group of them. I thought, quite childishly, that maybe someday my father would come back to life. And when he did, I could easily let go of whatever I had and go back to the Haunted Woods.

      But he never did, and I got into the habit of being a double crosser. I couldn't break that habit, either.

     *.^.*.^.*

      I wish for a lot of things, though I know they'll never come true. I wish I could start from the beginning again, where there was no mystery surrounding me; what reasons I did things for, who I was... I wish I wasn't the Zafara Double Agent... I wish I remembered my own name... I wish I had never met that Yurble... I wish my father was still alive... I wish...

The End