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An Über Fan: Revealed!


by schoolwars

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The morning after: Fyora Day. After celebrating the Queen of faeries, it's finally time to stop the revelry. But what if, for you, EVERY DAY was Fyora Day? Yes; I am referring to that rare breed of über fan. So are they totally creepy? Or just misunderstood? Here I attempt to shed some light on what goes on in the mind of such fanatics. Fortunately for you I managed to nab an interview with one such fan. Going only by the name of ‘FF#1’, he agreed kindly to answer my probing questions.... ok, so I bribed him with a Fyora Faerie Doll trading card. Enjoy!

ME - Welcome! Thanks for answering these quest.... Are you drooling?

FF#1 - Ooops, I, well.... Sorry, but I have been after this trading card for ages!

ME - Erm, ok. Fair enough. So why don’t you start by talking us through a day in your life?

FF#1 - Sure! Well, first I wake up - in my Fyora print bed, of course. Then I go into my bathroom where I wash in my Fyora themed bath tub and check my hair in my Fyora table mirror, brushing with the Fyora hairbrush if need be. After that I sit on my Fyora toilet and go....

ME - OK! I get the picture! How about we move on; what about AFTER your trip to the bathroom?

FF#1 - Ah ok. So after that I fix some breakfast, usually a Fyora day sandwich or maybe a juicy Fyora apple. This is always accompanied by a nice cold glass of Fyora day fizz - sucked up through a Fyora faerie straw! If I’m still peckish then I’ll nibble on some Fyora candy wings or a lolly swirl.

ME - Very balanced. Now how does a Fyora fanatic get ready to face the rest of the world? Any fashion tips?

FF#1 - Well, if, like me, you’re not shy about how much you love the Faerie Queen, then you wont be seen dead without the official I Love Fyora T-Shirt! This I normally team with my Faerie Queen wings and a Fyora Elegant Backpack. You have to look the part and all!

ME - Hmmm... but don’t you get weird looks while walking the streets of Neopia?

FF#1 - ....Now that you mention it, I do get a few stares and whispers. I assumed everyone was in awe of the fantastic tricks I can do on my Fyora yoyo.

ME - Right, ok. And how about your room? A few Fyora trinkets here and there?

FF#1 - A FEW?! A FEW?!.... *sniff* Actually my room is decked out in the latest collection - Fyora Inspired Bedroom Desk, Fyora Print Bean Bag, the new patterned bookcase and a big Fyora rug. Adorning my walls are all of her posters; the ‘Fyora Rules’ one takes pride of place!

ME - Sounds like an, erm... cool place to hang. Now how about your hobbies and interests? I hear that late at night you like to dress up and pose in....

FF#1 - And just WHO have you been talking to? As a condition of my release, I now have to draw the curtains. Plus it was only that ONE time, with the wig and the lipstick and the.... *cough* anyways, I digress. To pass the time I partake in a few crafts. I am rather creative - at the moment I am working on the Springtime Fyora Paper Doll Set. I send out personalized Fyora postcards all the time, stick Fyora portrait stickers everywhere (I’m on my final warning from Kauvara for that) and use my Fyora Sidewalk Chalk Bucket to doodle faerie inspired pictures on the sidewalk.

ME - What about books? Clearly someone of your... intellect *splutter* would feel the need to read all the time?

FF#1 - I can definitely see why you’d think that - and I’m way ahead of you. I have read all about Fyora’s favourite foods, her elegance in Fancy Fyora and I have heard all the songs from her Spring Song Book. I am now anxiously awaiting an autobiography!

ME - Oh, I’m sure one will, er, be out very soon....

FF#1 - OOOH! YOU THINK SHE’LL DO A BOOK SIGNING?!!

ME - There’s no need to shout! Maybe she will, I’m sure er, she will. How about toys and stuff? I’d love the new look Queen Fyora Usuki Doll.

FF#1 - Pfffft! Usukis are for girls! I much prefer my Queen Fyora Quiguki, complete with play set. Then there’s the Fyora play castle, plus my prized Fyora Bobble Head - it seems to be the only thing that agrees with me.

ME - I can’t understand why.

FF#1 - Me neither! My views are valid and make sense and I.... why are you laughing?

ME - I’m not! It's.... allergies. Yes, allergies. Anyhoo, changing the subject. Got your eye on a specific piece of Fyora merchandise at the moment? With new stuff being released all the time, will your collection EVER be complete?

FF#1 - Well, I’d like to think I’m pretty close to completion, being the Number One fan and all. As for my wish list - top of it has to be the Fyora Mystery Capsule. That bonus limited edition item still eludes me! I mean the Faerieland Adventure Wings are soooooo pretty and sparkly! I’d give my front tooth for them - now I know how Woogy and Jimmi must feel, forever bouncing in hopes of just a glimpse of that rare Fish Doughnutfruit!

ME - ....yeah. Best of luck with that! How about keeping active? I mean all the calories in those Fyora candies have to be shifted somehow, right? Why are you glaring at me?

FF#1 - Are you trying to insinuate something? While I may not be as agile as Roxton A. Colchester III, I am certainly no Chuffer Bob! As for staying in shape, just being in my garden and tending to my Pretty Fyora Potted Flowers helps me to accomplish that. Plus, I run around flying my Fyora Kite whenever the weather’s nice. My best workout I get by writing lovely poems and letters to my beloved Faerie Queen using my 10th Birthday Fyora Ballpoint Pen!

ME - Technically that’s not really a work...

FF#1 - Well, do THESE fingers look fat?! I think not! They’re like muscular mini hotdogs.

ME - Ok! Your right! Calm down! I heard it was your Birthday soon. Any plans for a Fyora themed party?

FF#1 - Now you’re talking! Of course I shall be honouring the greatest person to ever live! That’s Fyora by the way, not me as I know that’s what you were thinking!

ME - *choke*

FF#1 - Anyways, my sumptuous Birthday spread shall be including such delights as Fyora Spring Soup, some soft Fyora tarts and crunchy Fyora cookies, a few Fyora raspberry pops, a chocolate Fyora crown or two and the Pièce De Résistance - a huge Deluxe Fyora Day Cake! Maybe surrounded by a couple of Ultimate Muffins, depends on how many neopoints I can shake out of my Fyora bank.

ME - Sounds like an awesome celebration! Now you just have to decide which friends to invite.

FF#1 - Friends? What is friends? A new species of Neopet? Hey, come back! I haven’t finished talking about how AWESOME Fyora is and how I am her number ONE fan! And I still don’t understand about this ‘friends’ you talked about! WAAAAAAIT!

N.B: A week after this article was written up, we received information from a reliable source that informed us of a restraining order being taken out against one Mr F. F#1 on behalf of Fyora herself. Apparently singing songs at the top of your squeaky voice outside the Faerie Queen’s window at 3am is NOT a good way to get her attention.

 
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