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Better Than You? Not Quite!

by valikthebuilder


Also by akikins

Better Than You claims to be the greatest, most fantabulous game show in Neopia. Over the years, it has proven itself to live up to this claim! Ever since its initial release on the 5th of June, 2001, Better Than You has featured various prominent Neopian personalities. However, contrary to the game’s name, these characters have not been very much better than you, the loyal Neopian public. With every release, Neopians have proven themselves to be much more skilful at the games than those characters who have stepped up to the plate. In this article, I will list several Neopian celebrities who have taken part in Better Than You, I will tell you a little bit about them, and I will tell you a bit about the games that they thought they could beat you at. By the end of this article, you will hopefully be proud of your Neopian friends and neighbours who, week after week, truly prove themselves to be the best!


On the 28th of June, 2001, Peopatra was the character to beat in the fourth ever Better Than You competition. Peopatra is a desert Peophin, as well as the shopkeeper of Lost Desert Petpets. Her Neopedia entry states that her hobby is taking in abandoned Petpets and nursing them back to health, and that her favourite food is the pyramid pear. Her quote, “I know it's going to be cramped, but I'm sure we can find room for one more", is rather appropriate when it comes to the game that she chose to compete with. The game which she challenged the rest of Neopia with was called Chute. At this point, Chute is no more than a part of Neopia’s history, as it no longer exists to be played. However, it was rather similar to the ever-popular Gadgadsgame! The object of Chute was to drop shapes and create horizontal lines. When a horizontal line was complete, it would clear, and this was how you accumulated points in the game. The prize that week was a phenomenal Lost Desert Paint Brush! Peopatra never stood a chance as Neopians from far and wide flocked to the set of the game show to try and win themselves a rare and valuable paint brush.

Bug Eye McGee

The 24th of August, 2001, featured Neopia’s 12th Better Than You contestant – Bug Eye McGee! Bug Eye is a green Techo pirate whose hobbies include shivering timbers. He hopes that one day people will stop telling him that it’s not nice to stare. You can often hear him say that his big eyes are an advantage as they let him see more than he would if he had small eyes like everyone else. However, his larger-than-average eyes did not help him when he tried to challenge the Neopian public to Deckswabber! Although Deckswabber as it was has been sent to the Game Graveyard, it was replaced with a new and improved version, Stowaway Sting! The object of the game, however, is much the same as it was before. You have to navigate around a ship, touching each floor tile a certain amount of times to change it to a goal color. There are also various enemies to avoid, and various bonuses to collect. Rumor has it that Bug Eye has been afraid of the water since his last ship went down, and that the only reason why he could not score higher in Deckswabber was that he ran away in terror when it dawned on him that the threat of drowning was imminent. However, whatever the reason, even Bug Eye’s enormous eyes could not secure his victory. He was definitely not better than you!

Lord Darigan

In more recent times, and much to everyone’s surprise, Lord Darigan stepped up as the Better Than You challenger on the 29th of July, 2010. However, this was not the Lord’s first time being featured in Better Than You. He was also featured on the 21st of September, 2006, challenging the rest of Neopia to a game of Turmac Roll. After it was proven that Lord Darigan was not so much better than you, he retreated for several years. Now, nearly four years later, he has returned to the game show with a score of 1210 in the game Kass Basher. Many of you know Lord Darigan as the Korbat who rules the Darigan Citadel. Years ago, Lord Darigan waged war on Meridell to retrieve an orb that was stolen from his kingdom. Ironically enough, the game which he has chosen to challenge Neopia at is none other than Kass Basher, where the object is to whack a Lord Kass plushie as far as you can. This theme is rather appropriate when you remember that Lord Kass was once a general in the army of Lord Darigan who attempted to take over the Darigan Citadel, only to eventually flee the citadel after a duel with the Lord Darigan himself. However, despite the Lord’s obviously ongoing dislike of Kass, he did not prove himself to be Better Than You at the game, and his score was beaten by several hundred great Neopians! Kudos to all of you.

In the end, although countless famous and widely respected Neopian personalities have stepped up to the Better Than You stage, none of them have ever actually proven to be better than the Neopian public! All of you can solve puzzles quicker, play sports harder, take on adventures more courageously, and climb to the top of the high score charts in action games quicker than even the most esteemed Neopian celebrities. Through your sheer grit and determination, you, the citizens of Neopia, have proven yourselves time and time again to truly be the greatest, the gutsiest, and the gamingest group on this side of Kreludor. It goes without saying that many more familiar faces will attempt to show off their skills on the Better Than You stage. However, from what has been demonstrated in the past, I can confidently say that the Neopian citizens will never let anybody be better than them!

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