Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 189,690,092 Issue: 457 | 20th day of Hiding, Y12
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Observations: Hannah and the Purple Tights


by ingina3

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I was DEVASTATED when the boat in Glass Bottom Boat tours spouted unexplained leaks. Why? My pets were on that boat.

Wavney: All my makeup was washed clean off! *sobs*

*Ahem* Yes. Don’t worry about my Kacheek. Ever since she was painted Christmas, she, er, developed a... liking for grooming.

Devson: Liking? Obsession, you mean!

...And ever since my Shoyru turned Magma, he started teasing Wavney about her habits.

Wavney: *glares*

Anyway, back to the story. Glass Bottom Boats, pets about to drown, etc, etc. The air was filled with tension and everyone was screaming. (I was a first-hand witness – I watched the news on Neovision.) And then... in rushed Hannah! The brave Usul was covered head to toe in waterproof material. She courageously dashed towards the boat and saved everyone on board! Please welcome no other than the heroine herself!

Hannah: Cheers, Annie, for making me look awesome and all that. But really, it was nothing.

Me: Oh, Hannah, don’t be so modest. You are a brilliant Usul.

Hannah: Hey, you haven’t told your readers who you are.

Me: Oh, right. Hi, I’m your host, Annie, more commonly known throughout the Internet as Ingina. And today I’m interviewing the star of three popular games, Hannah the Usul!

Hannah: I think they realized who I am. Just stop stalling the interview.

Me: But the word count!

Hannah: *raises an eyebrow*

Me: Oh, okay. I’m going to ask you some questions about your new game, Hannah and the Wardrobe of Adventure. The first and most obvious question: what do you think of it?

Hannah: Are you really asking me that? Think. My last two games were about adventuring, running through huge caves and escaping treachery and danger at every turn. And this? I’m being made to play dress-up! If it wasn’t for the Wartroot Jelly Beans, I would never have –

Me: Hang on. What Wartroot Jelly Beans?

Hannah: Nothing.

Me: But you said –

Hannah: I SAID NOTHING.

Me: Point taken. But why do you hate dressing up so much? It’s nice to have different fields of fun.

Wavney: OMG YOU DON’T LIKE FASHION?!

Hannah: Well, for one, it’s the “embarrassing fashion sense”. I mean, usually this isn’t a problem. But when it’s being broadcast as a disaster to users Neopia-wide, you do get resentful.

Me: And the other thing?

Hannah: The way I’m being used as a doll! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable those clothes are? That scratchy wig for the Grooming Parlour, that burning outfit for the Lost Desert, those tight tights for Faerieland... and the boredom of donning the same clothes over and over! Going for the same mission over and over! Having to be so conscious, heroic and pleasing all at the same time!

Devson: You mean you don’t feel cool saving Neopia a heckuva load of times?

Hannah: No!

Me: Wow. Well, now we know your point of view.

Wavney: I’ll ask the next question, then. What shampoo do you use?

Hannah: Um, Usul Tail Shampoo, since you asked.

Wavney: On your hair?

Hannah: Long story.

Me: *clears throat* So... right. What is your favourite colour?

Hannah: Green!

Me: You didn’t have green clothes in the Wardrobe of Adventure.

Hannah: You’re forgetting the garbage suit top! Green is a wonderful colour. Green is moss, green is mold, green is the colour of half my dress in the Pirate Caves, green is... is...

Me: Grass?

Hannah: Toads! *beams*

Devson: Toads! Rad! Gimme five!

Hannah: SLIME!

Devson: Slime!

Hannah: Slime!

Devson: Slime!

Wavney: You mean smile.

Hannah and Devson: SLIME!

Me: Okay... um, let’s see what the next question is... okay. What colour are you, really?

Hannah: You think I know?

Wavney: OMG YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR COLOUR?!

Me: Strange. Never mind. Onwards! How often do you wash your socks? Wait – I didn’t write that! DEVSON!

Devson: *sniggers*

Hannah: Uh, I don’t wear socks.

Wavney: OMG YOU DON’T WEAR –

Me: Shut up, Wavney. Neither do you. Let’s see... ah yes. Describe your friendship with Armin.

Hannah: That isn’t about the Wardrobe of Adventure.

Me: Just answer the question.

Hannah: It isn’t a question. *sees my fuming face* Oh, alright. Well, we don’t know each other much. I met him on an icy ledge, we introduced ourselves, we planned escape. But I feel a connection. He may be inferior to me, but he is a strong, curious young Bori. Armin is actually silent but still quite likeable, you know?

Me: I don’t know. But we shall move on. What is your favourite mission in your new game?

Hannah: The one where I visit Kreludor.

Me: Why?

Hannah: Gosh, I don’t know where to start! Well, the anti-gravity thing’s really cool, and the... um, Neocola machine, and the smell of food from Café Kreludor...

Me: Really?

Hannah: Okay, fine. Just promise you won’t put this part in the written interview.

Me: *crosses fingers* Promise.

Hannah: Sloth.

Me: What, defeating him?

Hannah: Yeah. *blushes* I-It’s just that his robe is ultimate, his perfume enchanting, and his hair... just don’t ask.

Devson: *coughs loudly*

Me: Uh, right. Well, there’s only one or two more questions, so, um, here goes! Oh, my notes! Right. What is your favourite outfit?

Hannah: It’s either the ninja or the Mystery Island get-up. The ninja one feels majorly awesome, it’s just the overall excitement inside the costume. As for the Mystery Island one, it’s cute, comfy and casual!

Me: I see! Okay, so to end the interview, we have, do you believe in Jelly World?

Hannah: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, wrong interview note cards. Ah yes! What is your motive for dominating– nope, still the wrong one. Found it! Who is your hero?

Hannah: Without doubt, Vira.

Me: Vira? How interesting.

Hannah: Vira teaches everyone an important life lesson. She also learns that she must face punishment for her bad habits. Not many people do. She faced horrible treatment, she continues to suffer and yet she manages to be who she is.

Me: Right. Thank you, Hannah, for being part of this discussion and I hope I’ll see you soon!

Hannah: Thank you! Bye!

So there you have it. A brave, slightly arrogant, very random Usul, making her way up in Neopia to – Oh Fyora, this is turning into a character analysis! Well, thank you for reading this and... have fun!

Wavney: Hopefully you learned how brilliant fashion is!

Devson: And slime! And toads! And slimy toads!

Typical pets.

Hopefully more Observations coming up! Feedback is also much appreciated. :)

 
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