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Jelly Rules, OK?

by glamness


I (and my pets, I’d like to add) advocate jelly.

This might seem a strange opening statement to you, but a lot of Neopians seem to oppose jelly, (“It’s only worth 2 NP!”) and the very item only aids to offend these Neopians, so poor jelly crowds the Money Tree as a donation, or is even DISCARDED in the face of other, rarer items.

I ask you not to turn your back on the humble jelly! It’s absolutely true that some horrible flavours exist in Neopia, (Cornupepper?! DUNG?!) but some pets actually see these as a more refined taste, and will crunch up (well, not ‘crunch’, it’s jelly. You know what I mean, though) a scorching cornupepper jelly before your eyes. My pet Glamatica for one would prefer a meaty treat, (I’m sure she’s half-Lupe) but she won’t turn her nose up if a squishy meal is on offer.

I’m sure a lot of you own strong Lupes and fierce Krawks and Draiks, and research tells me these pets love a meat wrap or a Chickentastic Ice Lolly - At first they may scoff at the very IDEA of a piled wobbly plate in front of them, but I tell you, jelly is (or should be!) an integral part of the healthy pet’s diet! Neopian jelly is made with tons of fruit, and so is extremely healthy (and a Lupe would probably prefer a strawberry jelly over an organic orange--go on, fool them into health!), and the muscle-building jelly molecules allow for faster running and deeper swimming if served at LEAST once a week (so throw away that sketch roast!). Jelly also keeps your pets fuller for longer, packing into the stomach, and taking the shape of it, as it does. Who knows, maybe someone will come up with a meatier jelly someday, to sate the appetites of our more carnivorous friends? It certainly gives our Neopian hunters the energy they crave!

Not convinced? Aside from eating, there are plenty of other uses for a portion of jelly. Firstly, they make great random gifts for your neofriends (and their pets!) watch the smiles and ‘thank you’ neomails flood in when they are pleasantly surprised by the humble jelly. Remember--jelly counts for TWO meals, so pets can share, and jelly actually retails from 1-10 NP each, and dozens of jellies are purchased each day, so add a little cash value to your friend's shop--they might welcome the profit, after all! Jellies are also easy to restock, particularly if you store a few in your SDB, which can hold quite a few, you’ll notice.

Jellies also have multiple uses in... your shoes! Alright, pets don’t usually wear shoes, but strapped to their paws, jelly is fairly noiseless, so pets can creep up on enemies! (This also adds height, you’ll notice.) Jelly is also a great bounce-booster, so strap some on, Quiggles and Blumaroos!

Jelly also has medicinal properties--Ever heard of jelly pills, which cure the neoflu? Of course, besides these dinky little pills, there is lemon jelly in the face of neoflu, which is a great source of vitamin C (almost superior to an organic orange); of course, try orange related jelly items for a similar effect.

Neopian shop owners and Neopian product-makers know all about the many qualities of jelly, and mix them up in their products in crafty ways. Smoothies, for instance, have been known to be mixed with jelly, likewise the jelly slushie. There are jelly pops (a SOLID drink?!), jelly beans, burgers, letters (great for teaching baby neopets) and even jelly statues of our favourite neopets. (Try giving one as a gift to your beloved pet--they’ll be touched.) Have you ever played ‘Jelly Blobs of Doom’? It’s a wonderful game, and a jelly-tastic way to earn neopoints!

And have you ever noticed even the neatest neohome often needs upkeep? Jelly can help you there. Aside from keeping a tummy full, jelly can keep you WARM, would you believe? Try slapping some in cracks on the walls, ceilings, even in between the floorboards. And mend your roof with a pawful of jelly! A softly wobbling plate of jelly can be soothing in a neonursery, and a light bulb can even float in a jelly pile, casting wonderful patterns and colours across the wall. A large (and I mean, LARGE) pile of jelly outside the neohome is also excellent security-what kind of cat burglar wants to get tangled up with this slippery menace? After all, they could end up like the jalapeno pepper in the hot lime jelly, or the forsaken spanner in the orange spanner jelly. For this reason too, jelly makes a great Battledome weapon. No enemy wants to be trapped in jelly, or a face full of jelly for that matter. (Just make sure it doesn’t bounce back at you!)

Jelly is admired on the trading post too--various flavours and colours are often put together in a trade, which is a good opportunity for wholesale, as people are often uneducated about the various properties of jelly, and you can get a good week’s supply for under 5 NP. So bid away, and possibly make your pet's day!

So now you know the qualities of jelly in an eating, gift-giving, profit-making, health-assuring, medicinal, friend-making, sneaking, springing, height-giving, product-mixing, teaching, trading, gaming way, why don’t you educate others? Maybe we can convince Tombola Man to start giving jelly out as a prize? (Because what have cake and semolina ever done for us?) Maybe the Snowager will protect a multi-coloured, wobbling pile of jellies in the future? Random jelly events? A jelly shrine? Jelly agency? Jelly Island? Planet jelly, complete with space station? Miniature jelly plushies? More jelly-related games? Who knows, will jelly become currency?! (Welcome, Glamness. Pet: Hereshino. Jelly: 202.) Will Sloth and other evil-doers plan to take our jelly? NEOPIA’S jelly? Or will a giant jelly monster terrify us, making us lose our love for jelly in a terrible twist of fate? Who knows what the future holds. All I can predict is that it’s wobbly.

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