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Scaredy-cat's Guide to Surviving the Fool's Day


by chilly888

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The 1st of April is here, and all of the Neopians prepare for it in their own special way. Some arrange the pranks they are planning to play on the others. Some get ready to head out to the Plaza or Tyrannian Concert Hall to celebrate this event. Yet, there are some Neopets who just want to live through it. If you are that kind, this guide will aid you in surviving through the Fool’s Day.

Preparations

The best thing you can do is stay in your Neohome for the day, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. If you chose this solution, you will need a lot of preparations. First, make sure you have enough food and drinks for the day. Head out to the Food Shop or Pizzaroo but don’t forget the sweets. Next, organize your entertainment. Double-check all your toys for the signs of tampering from your friends, who already know that you are planning to stay indoors. Grab yourself a few old issues of Neopian Times and a favourite board game.

Now, you need to make sure your Neohome is safe. Bar the windows and doors if you can, but make sure you have enough Neopoints for the repair bill afterwards. You know how much that Zafara Original Management Group (Z.O.M.G.) charges for construction work. A lot of Neopets leave their chimneys unsecured – big mistake! I would not advise you lighting the fire there either – you do not want to get trapped in a burning Neohome. Instead, install a solid fireplace fence, and you might want to make sure that gaps are not big enough for those mischievous Hissies to get through. Now, all you have to do is relax and enjoy the day without constant pranks!

The other way

You are going to ask me: ‘What should I do if I cannot stay indoors all day?’ And it is a fair question. After all, a lot of Neopets have their jobs to do in the Faerieland Employment Agency, shops they have to run and galleries to maintain, not to mention Battledome matches. Well, there is another way, and it is much more complicated.

So, you wake up in the morning and realize: ‘Oh my, it’s the 1st of April!’ Before getting up, examine your surroundings carefully: make sure your hair is not tied to the bed, there is no little Chia hiding in your slippers, and there are no giggling Acaras are under your bed. As you go to the bathroom, check that those little pranksters did not attach anything to the tap - you don’t want to get sprayed with cold water first thing in the morning! Make sure that your Lavender-Scented Toothpaste is not a Mutant Tentacle Toothpaste or a tube of Itchy Scratchy Cream. Repeat the same with all of the grooming products you are planning to use. When you are done, it is time for breakfast.

Before going downstairs, examine the stairway railings for any signs of glue, and check that the Slippery Floor Potion was not used. Well, you managed to get to the kitchen, but do not let your guard down even for a second!

Your kitchen is like a Meridell dungeon filled with traps. There are dangers lurking in every corner, and even the ordinary-looking objects can surprise you. After getting rid of the seaweed from your Neocrunch Cereals and finding the right Kau Kau Farm Milk (and not the carton filled with Flaming Blooble Fruit Juice), it is time to enjoy the first meal of the day. Beware, however, of the unequal height chair legs and adorable JubJubs under the table, ready to jump out and eat you alive!

Wardrobe horrors

If you want to head outside, you'd better change out of your Tonu Super Hero Pyjamas unless you want all other Neopets to laugh at you as you stroll down the streets in your orange cape and blue tights. A lot of young Neopians are afraid of monsters in their wardrobes, and if you are not careful, you are going to find out why. The first thing you should do is open the wardrobe door; however, it is not going to be easy. What you really want to do is get a piece of string or a Flotsam Seaweed Lasso and tie one end to the doorknob. While doing that, I suggest you take every precaution to keep the door closed so anyone hiding in the wardrobe would not be able to seize the initiative and jump out while you are fastening the string.

Now, walk as far away from the wardrobe as the string length will allow you. This will give you the distance you need to avoid anything appearing from the wardrobe. If you have a sofa or a table nearby, you should certainly hide behind one of those. Use the string to carefully open the door. If nothing jumps out, do not be fooled! Throw a few Bouncy Balls inside just to make sure that no one is hiding inside. Once you are 100% sure that the wardrobe is safe, proceed slowly.

If worse comes to worst and you discover that all your fancy clothes are gone, head back to the bedroom and take out that special absolutely-top-secret outfit that nobody knows about (did I forget to mention that you should have one ready and hidden?). If all your garments are still there, it might take you some time to find the one that is not sewed shut, decorated with spaghetti artwork or has a piece missing from its back.

Outside disasters

If you are already all worked out, you might want to rethink your decision of going outdoors today. Still determined? Well, then you will definitely find the following very useful for avoiding the horrible and frightening, bone-chilling and petrifying things happening on this dreaded day. Unless you have a full set of fully water and flame-resistant Space Trooper gear from the Virtupets Space Station, you will have a hard time.

Tip number one for going outside: take an umbrella. There are countless situations where a simple umbrella (or a Royal one, if you are into that kind of thing) will save your life and your hairstyle. You might want to have it open and ready as soon as you step out of the door, since I have seen a group of Maraquan Shoyrus preparing their Water Cannons in your neighborhood.

Tip number two: grab a mirror. Yes, a mirror will come really handy today. Use it to check around the corners to evaluate the safety of the area. You can get one from the Grooming Parlour (located in the Neopian Bazaar). Even a simple mirror would do the trick, but I would not recommend using a full length one for obvious reasons.

Tip number three: keep your shoelaces fastened. You know this trick, no doubt. It is a simple one, yet thousands of Neopets fall victim to it every Fool’s Day. If you are a Uni or a Moehog, you shouldn’t encounter much trouble with this one: just don’t wear any shoes! However, those who find this solution unacceptable for comfort or style reasons should do their best to safeguard themselves. Use the marine knot (a shady Kyrii captain on the Krawk Island offers private lessons) or sticky tape. That way you will be absolutely sure that all the ‘Your shoe’s untied!’ exclamations are attempts to lure you into a devious trap.

Tip number four: watch out for things lying on the ground. As you know, throughout Neopia random events occur all the time, but it is not a good reason to go and pick up that shiny Neopoint. More than likely, there is a group of sneaky Kougras waiting to embarrass you by ripping a piece of cloth up just as you bend down to pick the coin up.

Tip number five: watch the skies. It is a widely known fact that Pteris love dropping things on Neopets’ heads. While your umbrella (see tip number one) should keep you safe from most attacks, you should really watch out for falling pianos (remember the poor little Mika from the Igloo Garage Sale Game) and other big objects.

When your nightmares come alive

And there you are, walking down the street (while using deceiving evasive maneuvers). With an umbrella at hand, you turn around a corner and... oh, the horror! It is a group of devilish Ixi in your way, and they are certainly up to no good. What to do? Well, you have two choices: run and hide or face the danger. And since you are reading this guide, it is most likely that you will choose the option number one.

It is most advisable to plan your journey beforehand, including possible escape routes from any possible location. While running away the first mistake you might make is losing your focus. Keep an eye out not only on the possible pursuers, but also on the way ahead and your immediate surroundings. Be quick, but be very careful – you never know, those Ixi might be chasing you straight into another trap!

First thing you should do is lose line of sight from your pursuers and, preferably, absolutely everyone else. When that goal is achieved, you must blend into the environment. If you are planning to use a Camouflage Morphing Potion, make sure you read the safety label, as this kind of potion comes with side effects. Alternatively, you can disguise yourself by using Grass Skirts from Mystery Island or various underwater plants if you happen to be in Maraqua.

Once you think that you are safe, leave your hiding place with extra caution. Avoid using the mirror to investigate the area as it might reflect the light and attract someone to your hideout. And if by now you did not have enough of the Fool’s Day, you are a true master.

Yet another way

Finally, this horrid day is over and you survived it without casualties (not counting the damage to your nerves). You can relax once again and get back to your normal life. However, there is still a question of whether it was all worth it. Isn’t there an easier way to live through the 1st of April? And the answer to that is ‘Yes, there is!’

Why not enjoy the day instead of get spooked by it? After all, why can’t you enjoy the pranks and all the fun with your friends rather than hiding from them? After all, if someone plays a prank on you, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. On the contrary, join the fun and laugh! Just remember that the pranks you play on others shouldn’t be mean or harmful. Keep it in mind and you will have a fantastic time!

 
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