Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars Circulation: 170,869,764 Issue: 395 | 5th day of Relaxing, Y11
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Picking a Petpet: Darigan Edition

by tabby_cat1221


So, you’ve just been painted Darigan, or maybe you’ve been that dark red or purple color long enough, and have been waiting for a devious companion to join you in your world domination planning. But when you arrive at the petpet store, all you see is cute, cuddly faellies and angelpusses. It’s disgusting, right? You want an evil looking, (not cute), devious, (not sweet), evil little minion. Not a disgusting little fuzz ball that rubs your legs and mews in your face.

Of course, you certainly don’t want to pay for a Darigan petpet paint brush, when you could use the neopoints for a new ray gun, or a new stockade for your dungeon, when there are plenty of perfectly good unpainted petpets that are just as evil, if not more so. So, what should you choose?

And how should you know what the perfect petpet for you is, when you have so much evil plotting to do? This guide will help you decide! Here are the top ten Darigan petpets:

10. Blorpulous

This is more of a beginner Darigan petpet. They aren’t extremely evil, but they are very faithful, and they will do their best to help you. Although the cute little smile is misleading, they are really just hiding their sharp set of fangs. They make VERY good attack pets, to keep little sisters/brothers out of your torture chamber. *rubs ankle* Trust me. I would know.

9. Reptillior

Although this is a Tyrannian petpet, it is quite evil. Although it isn’t very smart, it has massive fangs, which are good for stabbing your enemies. Since they are snakelike, they can slither quietly through any situation, which makes them good at retrieving secret information, making your job just a bit easier. With all that thick, black and grey hair, and massive paws, you won’t be moving quietly anywhere anytime soon.

8. Sklyde

This petpet is basically a living skeleton. Since they have no stomach, you don’t have to waste the time that you could be using for plotting world domination, feeding it. It is much smarter than the Reptillior, so it can look over your newest plot, and make sure there are no possible ways those annoying heroes (*cough* Meridellians *cough*) can get past it. And look at that evil look in its eye holes; doesn’t it just look like it's ready to help you in your evil doing?

7. Crokabek

Crokabeks are wonderful evil companions. They are quite intelligent, and are always very resourceful. They fly in the dead of night, and are never seen because of their midnight black pigment. They are wonderful spies, and those big red eyes are quite intimidating. They are, however, very loud birds. Their croak is almost earsplitting, but they can easily be trained out of it. They are wonderful cooks too. I know, it sounds impossible, but behind those blood red eyes is a marvelous spooky food cook. With such a good cook, you may never need to suffer through another gross meal again!

6. Devilpuss

Ah, the devilpuss, the epitome of mischief. They are very clever, and often sneaky, and are good at covering their tracks. They could be in a room for a hundred days, and they could disguise it to make it look like they were never there. Their sharp little fangs are wonderful for leaving their mark on an enemy, and that sharp glint in their eye is wonderful for making a prisoner crack into giving out information.

5. Sutekh

The Sutekh. Although it looks a little cute, this thing is overflowing with evil. Since it has been mummified, it has probably seen thousands of years of past villains coming to their downfall because of a "cunning" hero, so it can tell exactly what not to do. Also, being in Lost Desertian history, dating to ancient times, it probably knows a multitude of curses, to rule out your enemies, making this companionship worthwhile.

4. Chumablah

The classic Chumablah. Fierce red eyes, and a crouched over position that makes it look like it is always plotting something evil. This petpet is almost a perfect companion. They are forever loyal, and almost never need to be fed. They have a very sharp beak, and that classic Darigan look. They are intelligent and very clever, often saving your life in the most deadly of situations. The only flaw is they can sometimes become clingy. They will follow you where ever you go, no matter what. This, with proper training, can be eliminated.

3. Drackonack

Now, this thing is evil. VERY evil. They make great double agents, because they are commonly found in Meridell. They love cheese (the perfect evil dairy snack), and are quite smart. The evil little smile just screams sneaky, and the red eyes (lacking pupils) show that "minionship" aspect every villain wants. The multiple sharp fangs are wonderful for torture, and they are wonderful swimmers.

2. Phnard

The only aquatic evil petpet, they are just swimming with evil. Look at it, black, shiny skin, blood red eyes and fins, and that look that just wants to make you shudder. Wonderful at evil plotting, these things are perfect. They are amazingly intelligent, and are great at making the finishing touches on that new evil plan. It is all the good qualities of an evil minion rolled into one. You may be thinking, then why isn’t it #1? The answer is quite simple. Its lack of legs prevents it from being very good at escaping tough situations.

1. Meepit

Of course. The meepit. The over suspected evil plotters of Neopia. Even though they are quite cute, they have a twisted, disgustedly evil mind comparable to Dr. Sloth's. The absolute PERFECT evil plotters, they make foolproof plans to take over the world. They are very swift and quiet, and are probably more intelligent than the Library Faerie. Just inside that mouth is a full set of razor sharp fangs. These petpets, however, are ONLY recommended for the experienced Villain. To be handled with care.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!



by d0rm0use


How To Be Cool
I'd be impressed if, just once, someone would get the courage to come up to my face and say it, like, "Hey, Zargrold, you're so cool, just so hover, man, how do you do it?"

by mamasimios


Braving Brightvale: Part One
She had spent many an hour poring over maps and books of the intricate hallways and decadent rooms of the castle. All in preparation for today, of course—the first day of her apprenticeship with the King's royal advisor.

by dr0pz


Petpet Cannonball: Don't hurt the Petpets!
Petpet Cannonball is a one-player game, designed for you to shoot helpless little petpets through a bottomless bucket, down the tarp to safety!

by midnight951

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.