Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 170,058,278 Issue: 390 | 1st day of Hunting, Y11
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The Life and Lies of Madame Wisteria December Lane

by xxxmagiabellexxx


My name is Madame Wisteria December Lane.

      Or at least, that's what it says on the index card by my cage.

      I have a name for myself, though. Wisty. Who needs a 33 letter-long name when you're going to be trapped in a cage, perhaps forever?

      I really don't know why Neopians put up with us Kadoaties, when we're asking for food that not everyone * cough * newbies * cough * can afford. Like my friend, DR_SLOTH, was asking for a Blue Draik Egg once.

      “Doctor, are you crazy?” I asked him.

      “Hmm, maybe. But I want to test my plan to see if Neopians would truly do anything for that Kadoatie avatar!” he laughed. He cleared his throat and practiced a pitying mew and sad Puppyblew eyes. “Meww?” he said. “MeOOOw? Mew? Meehh? MEOWY?” He decided on 'Mehw!' because it sounded high-pitched, which he believes 'automatically makes you cute'.

      So when the Kadoatery's doors flew open and the hyper people came in, all of our cages had our names written and what we wanted. I apparently wanted a Container of Purple Liquid.

      “OMG LOOK AT THAT KAD!” yelled a girl with pigtails, pointing at my friend. Everyone rushed to Doctor and gazed in awe at what he wanted.

      “Mehw?” said Doctor with his cute eyes.

      “I only need one more Kad for the avvie, and I happen to have a Blue Draik Egg!” exclaimed a voice from the back. “Me too!” said another. Suddenly, most of the Neopians that had come to feed all of us were going to feed Doctor.

      “Haha my plan worked!” he roared in glory. “Think how easy it'll be when I get out of here!”

      “But when WILL you get out of here?”

      “After I get fed, I suppose,” he said, shrugging.

      Soon, the guy who had said he had a Blue Draik Egg arrived, as fast his two legs could take him. “Yes!” he shouted, giving Doctor the egg, who held it in his hands, not eating it, “I HAVE THE AVATAR!” The hologram of the avatar was visible for a bit above the Neopian's head, just as it always is when someone gets it. The back of Doctor's cage opened and a pair of hands grabbed him and took him away, disappearing.

      “Doctor!” I called after him. But I was only met with silence. All the other Kads were getting fed, all but me.

      “My, you want a Container of Purple Liquid and no one has fed you? Okay, let me get you one,” said a girl. She ran outside and went to the Trading Post. She came back shortly thereafter, looking annoyed.

      “Pesky little Kadoatie you are, huh? There's only ONE of what you're asking for in ALL the Trading Post! Ripoff!” Soon, everyone was fed (but me), with full happy tummies (except me), and talking about the yummy food they had eaten (guess who wasn't?). The Neopians left, and some were arriving for the next shift, when we got hungry again.

      That day was the start of my one month long stay at the Kadoatery.

      * * *

      The same thing happened over and over. Eager Neopians would agree to buy me my food (which never changed actually), only to come back furious saying 'how could a cute White Kadoatie like you ask for something so expensive?'

      I missed Doctor badly. He was the only one that talked to me there. I felt like a Grey Neopet.

      But his last words had me occupied. When I asked him when he'd be freed, he said, 'After I get fed, I suppose'. Sure enough, that happened. But just WHERE had he gone too? Before the Kadoatery, where was he at? I didn't know myself. My past life was an enigma, as would be my future. But what were those hands that grabbed him? Where was he at now?

      I had theories as to what happened, but most were too far-fetched. But most importantly, what about me? Had I once been a happy Kadoatie with a home and then got abandoned? Was it true that our owners left us here when on vacation? I couldn't even recall whether I had had an owner.

      I could only wonder.

      * * *

      “Wisty, HOW are you, I missed you so!” said Florinda the Royalgirl Cybunny. She hugged me in a warm and affectionate embrace.

      “That was a long vacation, huh?” said her sister, Olivia the Chocolate Usul. She hugged Doctor, her Kadoatie.

      “Yes, but at least we're with the cutest petpets ever now! We'll never abandon you... we'll never abandon you...” Florinda became a giant, and I was an ant... she had a giant Mozito Swatter and was about to squash me...

      “AUGH!” I yelled and got up. Oh, just a nightmare. Guess I shouldn't have strained my brain so much trying to make up my own past. I sighed and leaned against the back window, then foolishly stumbled and ran to the left wall. The back window had been where Doctor had gone too. Was there a secret behind the Kadoatery's walls? I pushed the back wall. It moved noiselessly to reveal darkness. I stepped in.

      * * *

      Being a feline type of petpet, I could see in the dark, but just barely. It was a long and narrow corridor with a speck of light at the end. It was cool inside. I banged against the walls.

      BOOONNNGGGGG, it went. Metal walls.

      I walked until I reached the light. There was a very small door, probably so about three Kads stacked on top of one another could fit through. There was also a flap, so I decided to go in through that one.

      The sudden light made me squint. I was in another metal room, but it was incredibly light. And there were mewing Kadoaties against the walls, in cages just like back in my 'home'.

      In the other side of the room, there were more Kadoaties, but they were attached to what looked like machines, connected to their heads. The Kadoaties that had the things on their heads were shaking and looked like they had been shocked. But their facial expressions remained the same. But I saw a familiar Spotted Kad with a white spot.


      I don't think he could see me or feel anything, because I pinched him hard and he didn't budge. I sniffed. Had I lost my friend?

      I looked the other way, making sure no one was there.

      There was no one there but my brethren and me. I ran to the mewing Kads. “What's wrong?” I asked them desperately.

      “Save us!” shrieked an Island Kadoatie, “The big mean guy is going to brainwash us!”


      “Yeah!” said a Normal Kad, “Where do you think all the Kads come from in the Kadoatery? It's the same twenty ones over and over! But they leave us and here and in a way, recycle us! They brainwash us so we'll forget everything about ourselves and become new Kads. The big mean guy makes a lot of neopoints that way!”

      “Which big mean guy?”

      “The one that runs all of this! He has twenty Kadoaties, and like I said, brainwashes us and puts us back there. And we since we never actually eat the food, he takes it and sells it! Why do you think we feel nothing, eat nothing, and think nothing? Because we're brainwashed!” he cried.

      “Watch out!” wailed a Pink Kadoatie.

      I turned to find a big mean guy. He smirked when he saw me. “Well. Looks like one of you wasn't brainwashed properly again and found your way here again. Always happens, huh?” He picked me up.

      “Here, this Kadoatie's almost done, then you,” he said, pointing at Doctor. I hissed and tried to bite him, but he wore thick gloves that didn't let me penetrate his hands.

      “Ah,” he said, when a light bulb in the machine turned green and Doctor stopped shaking. He still had the same expression on his face.

      “You are Elsworth,” ordered the man.

      “I am Elsworth,” said Doctor, now regaining his facial ability and looking like my friend.

      “You will be hungry and ask for items.”

      Doctor/Elsworth repeated that.

      “Great! Now, back to the Kadoatery with you,” he ordered and my once friend marched back. I meowed for him. “Doctor! Elsworth!” I shouted.

      He turned around and I smiled weakly at him. “I know no Doctor,” he said blankly, and marched back.

      “Your turn, White Kadoatie!” chortled the guy, putting me in the contraption. I didn't fight back. Was there any use? I had only been a mindless dummy all my life.

      I felt a tingling sensation. It became more pronounced, and now it hurt. I assumed I looked like Doctor/Elsworth when he was being shocked.

      “I put it on high, so you can rejoin your once friend again,” explained the man.

      I was done being brainwashed after a while.... and I felt like there was lead in my brain and someone was hitting it continuously. Then all that had happened before became distant. Who was I? I thought. What is my mission?

      “You are Zappy.”

      “I am Zappy,” I said.

      “You will be hungry.”

      “I will be hungry.”

      The guy smiled. “Enjoy your new life.”

The End

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