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Interview with... Erm... Who IS That Guy?

by return_of_weatherbee


I've always wanted to interview my Blue Gelert Plushie. He's so cute, and looks like he would have the personality of Capara Kyrii!

Weatherbee: You're SO adorable! Tell me a little about yourself!

Blue Gelert Plushie: *stares*

Weatherbee: Really. You're a quiet fellow! Where did you get those cute little ears? They remind me of my Aunt Tessie's!

Blue Gelert Plushie: *falls over*

That didn't turn out the way I hoped. I decided to do an interview with the shopkeeper for Neopian Fresh Food.

Weatherbee: First, may I just ask you your name?

Shopkeeper: You can, but it won't do you any good. I work for a secret organization, and giving out my name would get me blasted with a ray gun, er, oh nevermind.

Weatherbee: *blinks* Ok then... So, you sell food at Neopian Fresh Food? How long have you been in sales?

Shopkeeper: Quite a while. I only started selling for Neopian Fresh Food around ten years ago.

Weatherbee: Why did you decide to start selling food for Neopians?

Shopkeeper: Because it's easy to rip them off! They all flock to my store early in the mornings, lured in by the smell of greasy, artery clogging cheeseburgers. They're always ready to grab some great deals on their favorite gourmet foods. I've learned that people will pay BIG neopoints for gourmet. I sell them for twenty-five hundred a piece. It isn't until later that the little "bargain hunters" realize they can get their food much cheaper from the marketplaces. *cackles*

Weatherbee: Really? You always seemed like such a nice guy!

Shopkeeper: People always say that! I remember one day, I had this young Peophin boy come in, ready to buy his mom a Grilled Chicken Sandwich. He was ready to haggle! He got me all the way down to twenty-two hundred. Thought he got a good deal. *laughs maniacally*

Weatherbee: Er, that's great...

Shopkeeper: Sure! Say, you wouldn't be interested in some Green Cabbage, would ya? I've got a few heads of Green Cabbage, 150 Neopoints a piece. You can't beat that anywhere!

Weatherbee: Erm, no thanks... Where did you learn your, uh, selling style?

Shopkeeper: Well, ever since I was a young lad, I have been a salesman. I started out with, guess what, lemonade! I would sell lemonade at a stand on my street to all the neighbors for one hundred neopoints a glass. The "glass" was made of paper, the lemons were either old or not yet ripened, and don't even get me started on sweetener. I didn't use any! *hushes voice* Between you and me, I found I made more neopoints by NOT buying sugar! When the Neopians would make a face at my super-sour drink, I would tell them that drinking straight lemon juice would make their hair grow. It worked especially well on the old folks, and tripled my sales! I was quite the little entrepreneur.

After selling my lemonade, I decided to move on to selling plushies. They were THE toys to have! Stuffed with our softest, finest cardboard, and sewn with my own two hands. I got so good at it, I started using my feet! I even drew the eyes, nose and mouth with my best pencil! Couldn't find finer quality plushies anywhere in Neopia, unless you looked around. It all went well for about six months, until that chubby-cheeked Cybunny over at the Plushie Palace took all my customers from me. *throws fist in the air, and brings it down with a thud* Must have lost my temper there. Heh.

Once my plushie business was ruined, I nearly called it quits. Luckily, during my last year at the Swashbuckling Academy, I noticed my real flair for food! I could whip up almost anything in any given time. I could turn a sock into a delectable treat! *holds up a pair of Edible Purple Socks* Try one?

Weatherbee: No thanks... Go on!

Shopkeeper: Suit yourself! Where was I... Oh! I decided to open up my own food shop, which is where I work today. Like I said, it has been open for a little over ten years now, and is the reason I am a multi-millionaire.

Weatherbee: Wow, you are QUITE the entrepreneur. Do you have any plans for the future?

Shopkeeper: Well, as I said, giving out too much information can get me into a spot of trouble. However, I can say that my plans have absolutely NOTHING to do with world domination. Nope. No world domination plans for me. *twitches and laughs uncontrollably*

Weatherbee: Erm, I actually meant what do you have planned for the future for Neopian Fresh Food?

Shopkeeper: Ah! Silly me. I plan on opening up a few more stores. One on Mystery Island, another on Kreludor, and another in the Kiko Lake region. I think that the more cultures I can sell my delicious food to, the more neopoints I will bring in! I am looking to see a ten percent profit increase this year, and possibly another two percent from this wonderful interview with you.

Weatherbee: Anything to help out such, er, a great member of Neopian Society. Do you plan on working in the food industry as long as you're able?

Shopkeeper: Gracious no! I plan to make millions more! Once all the friends and family are taken care of for life, I plan to move to Virtupets Space Station and work with Dr. Frank Sloth on our plans for world dom... I mean, retire. Yes, retire. I plan to retire to Virtupets Space Station. That's it. No plans for world domination, as I said before. *does that weird twitching and laughing thing again*

Weatherbee: *takes a few steps back* Well, thank you so much, Mr. Shopkeeper, for this lovely, informing interview. Please help yourself to your free copy of the Neopian Times next week, where you will be featured!

Thank you for joining me during my interview with the guy that sells food at Neopian Fresh Foods! He's an interesting fellow that began his business at a young age, and has no intentions of slowing his business down any time soon. Make sure you keep your eyes on the Neopian Times for any future articles on our favorite shopkeeper. Like a mug shot...

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