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A Delicious Valentine's Day

by rose_consumption


Ahhh, Valentine’s Day... a time for love, friendship, appreciation and, of course, wonderful food to share with your loved ones. After stalking the gift shop for five days for that Mysterious Valentine’s Card and sniping advance tickets at the Concert Hall, you might be stressing about that five-course candle-lit meal you promised. Unfortunately, Kelp’s booked straight to March and the Golden Dubloon won’t take you back since the Grogfest 2006 incident. Your bank account is still reeling, too. No worries! I’m here to showcase a scrumptious meal plan for your holiday celebration.

First, you’ll need a kitchen. You *do* have one, don’t you? How do you expect to get started if you don’t even have an oven? And where exactly do you intend to entertain your guests? Once you’ve got your kitchen down, just follow the instructions with each recipe. Each recipe is designed to serve two people, but with some slick calculations you can serve as many as you’d like.

First Course: Stuffed Mushrooms

You’ll need:

6 Organic Mushrooms

Organic Cheese

Mummified Pepper


Garlic Bread Halves

Before we do anything, preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, remove the stems from the mushrooms. Stick the the caps on a greased pan in the oven while you melt the Cheese on a double burner, chop the Onion, and break up the Bread. In a big bowl, mix all those things together, adding the pepper to taste. The great thing about the Garlic Bread Halves is that some recipes call for bread crumbs, some call for garlic, but we’ve got them both covered with one inexpensive little gem of an ingredient! *sniff sniff* Smells like our mushrooms are good and dry, so take them out of the oven and start stuffing those bad boys with your cheese mix. I suggest sticking them in the oven for a few more minutes until they start charring slightly around the edge, but this is a matter of taste.

What’s that you say? You can BUY Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms for 700 NP? Why yes, but you only get three and none of the onion-y, garlic-y, bread-y goodness. No more questions!

Second Course: Lemint Soup and Salad

You’ll need:

For the soup:

2 cups Fresh Lemint Juice

4 Lemints

2 lemons

Frozen Cucumber Slices

For the salad:


2 Oranges

Baby Tomatoes or Cheery Tomatoes


4 Lemints

So admittedly, after that appetizer, you and everyone involved is going to have baaaad breath. Don’t fear! This second course is designed to refresh the palate and remedy your halitosis. We’ll start with the insanely easy cold lemint soup. We’ll be using the Fresh Lemint Juice as stock. Chop the Lemints and add those along with the Frozen Cucumber Slices. Don’t forget to add the Lemint leaves, as they add flavor and aesthetic appeal. Squeeze the Lemon over the bowls before serving.

The salad is just as easy: Start by breaking apart the Lettuce. Slice the Lemints long-ways this time, and add the sectioned Oranges. Plop some Tomatoes on there and toss until thoroughly mixed. Squeeze the Lemon over the plate, again, right before serving to add some wetness to this otherwise dry salad.

Third Course: Loveberry Cocktail

About 30 Loveberries

Gooseberry Juice

Cherry Juice

2 cups Lime Sorbet

Tiny Umbrellas

Time for a light delight to sip on before the main course. This cocktail is quite tart, a little sweet and very tangy, inspired by love itself and the natural flavors of the Loveberry. The cocktail is easy to make by blending the ingredients until smooth. Pour into your finest glassware and add a Tiny Umbrella to make you feel swanky.

Fourth Course: Baked Crablette-Stuffed Transparifish

You’ll need:

2 lbs. Transparifish

2 lbs. Crablette

1 lb. Butterfish

1 Onion

3 Potatoes

Most people don’t know how great Transparifish taste because they’re always losing them. Low demand for an unknown fish makes them go for 10 NP a pound. First and foremost, boil your Potatoes and Crablettes and set your oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Then, the tedious but worthwhile task of cleaning and preparing the Transparifish begins. Don’t be squeamish! It needs to be gutted before any stuffing can happen. Don't scale them; it'll be easy to peal off the skin when it's cooked. When you’re finished, it’s a simple matter of cracking the Crablettes and getting all that meat out and into the Transparifish. When that’s in order, cut your Potatoes and Onion. Feel free to salt and pepper your ingredients to taste before stuffing the Fish with your vegetables. There should be plenty left after stuffing, so melt the Butterfish and grease a large glass pan with buttery goodness and arrange your Fish and left-over veggies. Put the pan in the oven for 10-15 minutes, checking it regularly. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to see the Fish have crisped and become quite A-parent after being applied to heat.

Fifth Course: Ultra-Chocolatey Fondue

You’ll need:

Deluxe Chocolate Fondue

3 Bars of Chocolate

3 White Chocolate Eyries

Assorted cookies; I suggest Chocolate Chip Cookies (for the boring), Strawberry Aisha Cookies (for the financially conscious), Valentines Cookies (for the financially unconscious) or Crystal Cookies (for the financially ridiculous).

Strawberry Bon Bons

Faerie Pineapple


2 Kacheek Marshmallows on a Stick

Mmmm, fondue. The perfect sharing food that never disappoints. If you don’t already have a fondue set, you’ll need to buy a Deluxe Chocolate Fondue, but don’t use the chocolate it comes with. We’ll be making a milk/white chocolate mixture from pure ingredients. Pour about a capful of vegetable oil in the bowl and break your chocolate up into the bowl. While it’s melting above the candle, it’s time to prepare your fruits. Essentially, you can choose whichever fruits you like (everything tastes good smothered in chocolate!) but I’ve found the Faerie Pineapple and Florange to be best. Chop them both in bite-sized squares and set them aside in bowls. Get out your mom’s good platter and arrange the Bon Bons, Cookies and Marshmallows around the fondue bowl. Of course, while perusing the Candy Factory or Bakery, you can bring home any goodies you think might taste and look great with this delicious dessert.

That’s it! Five easy-to-make and sure-to-amaze courses for you and your special someone. They’ll think you’re a regular Water Chef when you bring out these gourmet dishes. Have a happy and yummy Valentine’s Day!

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