Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 175,178,655 Issue: 371 | 12th day of Celebrating, Y10
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Rediscover Yourself!

by squeeful745


You know that you’re a Neopian. Well, at least, I do. If you don’t, then you’re either very, very new or just plain ignorant. Anyways, though you may know you’re a Neopian, you might not know exactly what KIND of Neopian you are. You can make a good guess, but to really get to know yourself, take this quiz. Grab your Round Notebook and Dark Faerie Pencil and get started! By the way, be honest, and no cheating!

1) What color is your Neopet?

a) A basic color – you haven’t had the time or money to paint your Neopet. Or maybe you just don’t believe in judging books by their covers! Remember, folks, a Neopet is the same inside, even after it’s been painted.

b) A common, yet not-so-basic color. Christmas and Invisible are some examples. Perhaps you really wanted a painted pet but couldn’t afford that awesome Mystery Island Paint Brush, or maybe you’re just painting them temporarily for reasons such as avatars.

c) A super expensive, flashy paint brush! You have lots and lots of Neopoints (well, not anymore... ) and so you buy your pets only the best, like Maraquan and Faerie Paint Brushes. You love showing off and you spoil your pets rotten... well, hey, don’t we all wish we could? You’re very lucky! :)

d) Something weird and uncommon... maybe Strawberry or Camouflage. You like to be different, and you’re willing to pay money to do so. Not everyone wants a plain old Fire Blumaroo or a Halloween Lupe! Kudos to you for escaping the tight bonds and trends of Neopia!

e) A tremendously evil color... Shadow, or something creepy like Halloween. Hey, are you one of Sloth’s minions? Oh, good, that’s what I thought. Wait, what? I misheard you? Um...

2) What species is your Neopet?

a) A common species like a Shoyru or a Kacheek. There’s a reason for them being so popular – they’re cute, of course! These Neopets are often good-natured and easily contented.

b) Something sort of rare, but not ultra-exclusive. A Koi or Cybunny, maybe? These pets are in high demand – nice job! You managed to get your hands on one! But you haven’t quite scraped up enough Neopoints to get that really, really, really rare species you wanted yet.

c) A mega-rare pet – a Krawk or Draik, probably! You paid a TON of money to get your special pet (unless, that is, you have the Not-So-Secret Lab Ray... ) and you have no plans to give it away! You probably feed your pets Neggs every day!

d) An uncommon species – maybe a Lutari or Gnorbu. You want a pet that no one gives too much thought to, perhaps to increase awareness or just be different. You get really sick of looking at Kougras all the time!

e) A Grundo or a Hissi... something evil-looking or who would make a good min-*AHEM KOFF KOFF* I mean, uh, friend! Who wants those cheerful little Meercas, anyways?!

3. What’s your Neopet’s favorite game?

a) The norm – Whack-A-Kass or Meerca Chase. They earn quick NP and are really fun! They’ve climbed to the top of the popularity list, where you’re lurking...

b) Something that’s pretty popular, but not outrageously so. You like games like Feed Florg or Freaky Factory (try saying THAT three times fast! ;) ). You just love games that will help you earn Neopoints while not boring you like Faerie Bubbles (how many times have you played it? Ten million bazillion?).

c) Your Neopets don’t play games – you’re too 1337 for that. You earn money from auctions and restocking, not games! Why would you make your Neopets expend any effort? That is soooo Y1!

d) The less popular games... Usuki Frenzy or Terror Mountain Tilt. You don’t see why Hasee Bounce is so popular, anyways! Who would spend their time on a seesaw eating fruit?

e) Something evil... Spell-Or-Starve or Cheat!... playing by the rules has gotten so old. Oh, and the crueler the game, the better!

4. What is your Neopet’s favorite food?

a) Omelette and nonexistent Jelly! Well, you’re not actually sure if they like it, but hey, they’ll eat it. Wasting money on expensive foods is just silly. Hey, speaking of which, what were they thinking with Kelp, anyways? *rant*

b) Some more interesting foods like a Quiggle Pasta Salad. Chocolate is also a big part of your diet; your Neopets are a bit pickier than the standard pets you see in the Pound. In your eyes, food should be fun, but not too pricey.

c) No little inferior food items will be fed to YOUR pets, no sirree Bob! You eat out at Kelp at least three nights a week, and you’re proud of it! Your Neopet likes the Ocean Platter and Coral Cake the best. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

d) Weird foods... sometimes gross foods like Lice Rice, but sometimes the ones that are just plain uncommon! Carnapepper Finger Sandwiches and Aisha Tomato and Potato Soup are your friends!

e) Evil foods... Mucus Soup and Grundolicious Cookies... mmmm... .

5. Where does your Neopet like to stay when put in the Neolodge?

a) Well, they usually stay in Cockroach Towers... it’s cheap, and it’s not like they have a choice! You like to earn Neopoints, but unfortunately, you’re not so great at saving them... your choice of hotel reflects that.

b) Ye Olde Ship Inn... it’s not the ultimate best, but it’s better than Fleapit Motel! The nautical décor and fun atmosphere are oh-so-fantastic!

c) Three guesses. Astrovilla, of course! 500 Neopoints is the stuff you find in between the cracks of your Rainbow Couch! Plus, they feed your Neopets exotic food and spoil them just like you do.

d) The Hotel Opera... not too many people utilize it, and that attracts you to it. You’re not quite sure what the whole “Opera” thing is about, but if it’s uncommon, then it’s for you!

e) Somewhere evil... not in a hotel, in an old warehouse, with lurking demons! Muahahaaaa....

6. What do you groom your Neopet with?

a) Some old Brush you found in your Safety Deposit Box. All grooming items do the same thing, so why splurge? And anyways, who cares that your Neopet is a Flotsam and doesn’t even have any fur? *pshaw*

b) Rain Water Shampoo... it’s better than that old tube of toothpaste on the back of the shelf at the store, but it’s not too flashy. You’re all for quiet dignity!

c) YOU don’t groom your Neopet, Astrovilla does! Who would ever buy their pet only one or two measly grooming items when they could have it all if they stayed at Astrovilla?

d) Something weird and unusual... Twirly Fruit Lip Gloss is always a good choice. It moisturizes your Neopet’s lips and gives them a pretty shine, not to mention the fact that it tastes delicious!

e) An item that’ll make your Neopet look evil... Black Lipstick, Black Nail Varnish... anything like that will float your boat!

7. What book does your Neopet like to read?

a) Neopian Times Issue III... yes, you know it’s predictable and awfully cheap, but it makes your Neopet just as smart as some other... expensive book would.

b) Koi Tales! It’s a good, well-rounded book that your Neopet loves. Plus, it’s a little bit more expensive than some of the other more common books.

c) Undiscovered Treasure... the price tag’s as big as Terror Mountain itself! Your Neopet all out REFUSES to read that weird book about some Kougra’s paw... not that your Neopet needs any more intelligence; it’s already an ULTIMATE GENIUS.

d) Faerie Secrets. It’s really pricey, but not too many pets have read it! If you’ve been reading, you’ll know that this is what draws you to it.

e) A horrible, scary book... Hubrid’s Book of Death is one of your favorite classics! You love scaaaary stories and spooooky tales of death and destruction...


Count the number of As, Bs, and Cs you got.

Double Check.

If you weren’t too great at Maths Nightmare, then triple check.

Okay, now you’re ready to go on!

IF YOU GOT MOSTLY A... you’re a frugal Neopian who is not willing to spend too much money. Your intentions are good, but you’re not so good at saving money. Those Neopoints you earn from Turmac Roll always seem to vanish! You can combat this by setting yourself goals, such as “Today I will spend only 1,000 Neopoints” or “Over the next five days I will earn 5,000 Neopoints per day”. 5,000 x 5 days = 25,000 Neopoints! You might be able to afford that cute Petpet you wanted, but don’t spend it all now!

IF YOU GOT MOSTLY B... you’re a normal Neopian! You’ve got a sizeable sum of Neopoints in the bank, but it’s no fortune. You spend your money wisely, buying high-quality items for good prices, while playing good games and earning extra money on the side. The majority of Neopia falls into this category. If you’d like to get richer, consider once again setting goals for yourself, but make these goals harder to achieve. For example, instead of trying to earn five thousand Neopoints a day, try to earn fifteen thousand Neopoints a day. That’s 105,000 Neopoints a week! Impressive, huh?

IF YOU GOT MOSTLY C... you are one wealthy Neopian! You’ve either accidentally stumbled upon a fortune, or spent lots of time earning your treasures. You spare no expense when taking care of your Neopets, lavishing them with food and clothes. Sometimes, though, it’s good to encourage your Neopets’ independence and be a bit stingier. Try playing some games every once in a while, or donate a sum of money to the Money Tree. Think of how a mere 30,000 Neopoints could change a Neopian’s life!

IF YOU GOT MOSTLY D... boy, are you unique! You are generally good at saving money, but when you spot an item that’s very unusual in shops, your illogical side gets the better of you. You spend the largest amount of your money on unusual toys or foods, helping your Neopet get a little bit of everything. If this is accidental, and you want to be normal, then observe what other Neopians are doing. Follow trends, buy common foods, play normal games. However, if it’s deliberate, then nice job! You are great at being yourself.

IF YOU GOT MOSTLY E... you’re pretty odd! You spend your most likely illegally earned money on odd goods that probably come from somewhere not-so-reliable. From what I’ve seen, you probably are involved with Sloth in some way... *meep*... was that you? GET AWAY FROM ME, NOW!

Hopefully you’ve taken the time to get to know yourself. Now that you’re properly enlightened, I must go... but whenever you feel lost, come and rediscover yourself by taking a five minute quiz! *meep* EEEEEEEEK!

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