Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 176,283,131 Issue: 350 | 3rd day of Swimming, Y10
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Treats on a Budget

by rainbow_daydreamer


A paintbrush? A Petpet? Some clothing? A toy?

That lab ray for fostering pets?

Ever since we were newbies, we’ve each had our dreams,

And we know how expensive they get.

How many times now have I heard people say,

“Until all my saving is done,

And the item I dreamt of is here in my hands,

I can’t spoil my pets or have fun?”

But unless you have hermits or robots for pets,

There’s no point in their living like that.

If only you knew some affordable ways

To get treats at the drop of a hat.

Well, as owner of twelve pets and fostering eight,

I’m happy to show you the way.

With no omelette or soup involved, here are some ways

Your pets can be spoilt every day.

A is for Advent

The calendar's gifts,

All a few hundred Neopoints,

Form a long list

Of toys and cheap furniture

Petpets and food

Not all of it's wintry

But most of it's good

B is for Birthday

The commemoration

Of Neopia's founding

A great celebration

When the party is over

You may want to keep

An eye out for cake

And balloons going cheap

C is for Calendar

You don't want to miss

The third day of each month

And why? Simply this

The Neopian shops

On this day are half-price

So the best day for buying

That treat that looked nice

D is for Dice-a-Roo

Full of surprises

This cute game of chance

Gives out tasty prizes

Churros, Fried Shrimp

And Neowaiian Bread

Have all become cheap ways

To keep your pets fed

E's for Events

The enthralling new plots

That involve all Neopians

(Well, OK... lots)

But some get no further

Than the very first task

So try buying their prizes

No great price is asked

F is for Fishing

While I myself wish

That pets wouldn't eat

Those adorable fish

Other things are down there

Books and toys that may help

You could even try building

A hedge out of kelp

G's for Geraptiku

A city long gone

But the artefacts made there

Will always live on

Once they were rare

But much excavation

Has left them affordable

Without hesitation

H is for Hotels

A holiday stay

Means no buying food

While your pets are away

Even the Cheap Hotel

Offers extras galore

So book your room there

No need to pay more

I is for Illusen;

Don't do her quests

For profit, it's true

They are hardly the best

But her famous Cream Cookies

Rose Shakes and green Combs

Will be welcomed, though cheap,

In the best Neohomes

J is for Jelly...

I know what I said,

But the main thing, of course,

Is to keep your pets fed.

And while treats should abound

They won't find it too bleak

If you add in some jelly

Once or twice a week

K is for Kau

These sweet, patient pets

Think a vanilla milkshake's

The best that it gets

Be they "starving" or "dying"

Just pour out one cup

And this favourite treat

Will fill them right up

L is for Lupe

Altador's worthy king

Now devotes his long days

To one special thing

The giving of prizes

Has cheapened some books

So seek Lupe-themed literature

It's well worth a look

M is for Meridell's

Cute country farm

The fruit it produces

Will do pets no harm

But don't waste NP

Picking it for yourself

Search the wizard for berries

Hold onto your wealth

N is for Newbies

No, don't frown with scorn

Have you seen what they get these days?

Don't know they're born!

The things in their newbie packs

Everyone's got

So on the Shop Wizard

They don't cost a lot

O's for Old Items

Though fashions may change

Some shops keep on selling

The first of their range

The most basic of toys

While still excellent fun

Can often be found

For a price sure to stun

P is for Plushie brush

...I've lost my mind?

Not at all, 'cause I'm meaning

The small Petpet kind

The cheapest of Petpets

Will soon be transformed

And for only 10k

Look quite out of the norm

Q is for Quests

Often not worth the bother

But try the Esophagor

And if you discover

He's asking for something

Whose price is quite small

It might be worth buying

His food after all

R is for Ring

Of the Scarab variety

While not the best thing

In high-spending society

One of these cheap adornments

For your pet to wield

Will go a long way

On the Battledome field

S is for Sponsors

So often ignored

These supporters of Neopets

Like to reward

Those who visit their areas

Sometimes there'll be

A place there to feed pets

Low-cost or for free

T is for Tarla

Who gives items out

But if you've no alert bar

For when she's about

There are pages that list all

Her latest deflations

Cheap stuff if you buy it

Without hesitation

U is for Updates

They come out each day

You haven't got time

For New Features, you say?

Then you'll miss free pet training

New item releases

Tweaks to game payouts

And such bits and pieces

V is for Varnish

For pets' nails and claws

Grooming cheers any pet up

So try it on yours

And since these little bottles

Will never run out

They're affordable mood-boosters

Without a doubt

W is for Worms

They disgust you and me

But Pterii count them as

An old remedy

For 'most any sickness

So the doctor's advice?

For ill Pterii, Worm Nuggets

Would be rather nice

X marks the spot

Well, that's all well and fine

But the real Neo-treasure

Is at Coltzan's shrine

The desert food given

To visiting pets

As cheap breakfasts go,

Is as good as it gets

Y is for Yarn

Which I've so often used

To keep all my fosters

And permies amused

In red or in blue

The investment is sound

And no pet is above

Chasing yarn balls around

There's nothing for Z?

Well... I can't do much better

This writer's asleep

After twenty-five letters

So to all you Neopians

And Neopets too

Sweet dreams of your goals

And the things you might do...


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