White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 176,283,131 Issue: 350 | 3rd day of Swimming, Y10
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Wee... what?

by danman111111


Weepit Art by musiclives2001

Fearsome image of Dr. Sloth by pacmanite

Being a scientist, I make many trips all over Neopia. On one such trip I found myself on the Space Station. While I was there, whom did I run into? No, not the Tooth Faerie! I ran into none other than Dr. Frank Sloth. Then again... he was wearing fake faerie wings. I guess that’s another story though. Anyway, after quickly removing the wings, he stated that he wished to have a couple of words with me. I told him he’d already had quite a few more than two he requested. When he returned the comment with a menacing scowl, I decided that this might not be the best time for my humor.

After taking a seat in one of the luxurious seats in his office, I was told that he had just completed his first prototype of his Time Machine 1.0. Naturally I was impressed and immediately wanted to see the schematics. Being a scientist myself, this project probed my interest in more ways than imaginable. After a quick glance at the plans, I requested to look at the actual thing. He grinned and told me that he could do better. He offered me the chance to test it out. Obviously I couldn’t refuse. This was the chance of a lifetime!

We walked together through multiple hatches and dark hallways and through many keypads with green backlights until finally we reached a room with two key holes, one on either side of the room. Dr. Sloth handed me one key and told me, “Turn it at the same time I turn mine. On three.”

“Yes sir!”

“1... 2... 3!”

On three we both turned our keys and moments later the walls began to shake. As I hung onto the wall for support, the floor in the center of the room seemed to melt away and from below came a large capsule, just big enough to fit one Neopet.

Sloth said very little, except these few words, “The time is set for 50 years from now. Push the red button to go. Oh, and if you’re not back in the capsule exactly one hour from departure, then it will leave you in the future and you won’t be returning.”

Well, as it turned out, one hour was far more than enough for me. The future was so incredibly frightening that I, quite gladly, reentered the capsule far before the allotted hour was up. The reason for my urgent wish to leave the future? Weepits had taken over Neopia! Every form of merchandise was blemished with the horrible grinning face of some Weepit or another! From selling actual Weepits, surely a ploy to get the horrible creatures into people’s homes for goodness only knows what purpose, to selling notebooks and lunch boxes with their hideous facades upon them. They were truly dominating Neopia in every way! I decided that you all, back in the present time, would want proof of these seemingly insane claims of mine so, beyond my better judgment, I collected some of the most intriguing and... horrible, examples of the Weepit dominance that had overtaken Neopia and bring them back to show you all in the current.

When I arrived back and the door of the Time Machine popped open, everything I had brought back poured out of the capsule. Sloth was standing just inches away and was covered from head to toe with the stuff I had collected.

Sloth got up quietly and walked to the door shaking his head. As the door opened, he said, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” What was he talking about? Of course I knew what I was doing.

Anyway, I’ll show you what I brought now since I’m sure you’re skeptical about what I have told you. Be warned, though; these items are quite scary and not for anyone with a weak heart, a weak stomach, or, especially, a weak soul. If any of you suffer from any one of these weaknesses, then I suggest you flee this place at once, before your curiosity costs you more than you’re willing to pay! If you feel you are strong enough... or are just very, very foolish, then read on, but be warned; I will not take any responsibility for any loss of sanity sustained while viewing these items. Now, if you’re ready, we will delve into the unknown world of... the Weepit!
Book of Weepit - This book will tell you every horrifying detail you could never wish to know about the Weepit! From the color of its dung to its habit of harassing crazy chatterers on the NeoBoards, this book covers every ghastly detail of the horrible creature that will soon take over Neopia as we know it.
Fake Weepit Mask - Although I did find a real Weepit Mask it was FAR too scary to bring back with me. This, although still quite frightening, is not near the evil of the actual mask!
Weepit (TCG) - Who would have guessed it! The Weepit, in the future, actually infiltrates the Neopets Trading Card Game! It is quite possibly the scariest of all the villains in the game!
Weepit Action Figure - In the future there is no better way to scare your playmates half-to-death than to bring this monstrosity to the playground! Not only will you win the fight, your friends will give you all their action figures just to put this thing away! Then again, you will likely lose all your friends if you bring THIS out.
Weepit Bed - I highly doubt the designer of this bed sold many of these. No one in their right mind would want to spend all night in such a terrifying bed as this. I imagine anyone who were to sleep in this bed would end up as mad as Prisoner Five!
Weepit Cap - This cap, complete with huge, malevolent eyes, was one of the lesser terrors I found on my trip but still quite horrifying compared with anything in Neopia at current!
Weepit Diary - For the Neopet that absolutely doesn’t want anyone to pry into their personal life this diary will keep even the most brave of Neopets far away!
Weepit Dung - Urm... I think I know where this came from, but I really wish I didn’t!
Weepit Fruit - Although I didn’t get a chance to confirm my theory I assume that in the future this fruit can be won from the Pick Your Own game. I don’t know about you, but that’s enough to make me quit that game cold Weepit!
Weepit Halloween Costume - This is the only sensible item in the lot of ‘em. If you are looking to scare the pants off of any Neopet you run into on October 31 this costume should do it! It comes complete with the scariest eyes you will ever see!
Weepit Lunch Box - With this lunch box your Neopet will never have their lunch stolen again. Then again, your Neopet will likely be too scared to eat the food inside the lunchbox or even carry it farther than the bottom of the steps of the Neohome before they drop it an run in terror!
Weepit Plushie - Almost as bad as the real thing! This plushie is stuffed with the finest Weewoo feathers, direct from Krawk Island. If you think your Neopet can take on anything, give him or her two seconds with this plushie and they will be bawling like a Baby Chia!
Weepit Stamp - I’m not sure what possessed the Post Office to produce this atrocious stamp, but unfortunately, they did. I feel oh-so-sorry for the postman who has to deliver and letter with this stamp attached to it! Horrors indeed!
Weepit Fountain - Perfect for the garden of a haunted house or for the deepest darkest corner of the Haunted Woods, this fountain will terrify your Neopet into wanting to go back to Neopia Central before you can say Neggitus!
Weepit Usuki Set - What fun could be had with this! I can only imagine a young Neopet being told they were getting a new Usuki set for Christmas and then finding... Well, maybe not so fun for the Neopet who receives this set!
I brought an actual Weepit as well, but, on second thought, it’s probably not a good idea to show you. Wait, you actually want to see it? I suppose, seeing as much as you have already, seeing the actual thing can hardly do much more harm. If you truly want to see it, then I will oblige but I must note that I do this against my better judgment and under protest.
Weepit - Yeah, it’s the real thing! Thank goodness it’s in that cage or we would all be done for! Take a look if you dare, but under no circumstances should you put any of your appendages anywhere near the cage! I still remember what happened to the last guy who tried to give it a pat on the head... Hang on a minute, did you say you think it’s cute? You truly have lost your mind. Wait! Don’t take the lock off. No, stop! You’ll cause the death of us all! You’ll...

With that last exclamation, the terrified scientist fell to the ground. He had fainted. At the same time the nurse, a broad shouldered Tonu with the usual nurse’s garb entered the room. Shaking her head, she proceeded to prop the young Shoyru that had just fainted back up against the white padded wall of his small cell. When she had done this, she began to pick up the small bits of yarn, wax, and other trinkets that the Neopet had been displaying only moments earlier.

As she walked out again, she thought to herself, “Such a shame. He had such prospects in this world. If only he hadn’t decided to wander off to that Space Station. Weepits...” With the last word she let out a slight chuckle then frowned. As the nurse continued with her rounds, she didn’t even notice the beady eyes that were peering from the grate just above her head, or the pink and white feather that had just, at this very moment, landed feet away, just out of her line of sight.

Author’s Note: A special thanks is due to pacmanite for her amazing job on the thumbnail image for this story!

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