Preparing Neopia for the Meepits Circulation: 90,554,371 Issue: 172 | 7th day of Sleeping, Y7
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Seven Dreadful Days


by orginalcliche

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NEOPIA CENTRAL - Today, tomorrow, the day after that, the day after that day, how do you describe these days in Neopia? Yes, we have the months, but how do you say: “We don’t have school on the day after the day after that day.” Not only is that cumbersome but it doesn’t make any sense, so I have provided a list of all the days of the week. That way you will know when you don’t want to wake up (which is almost everyday) and when you do. Personally I want to go to bed every day -- teens need their rest is my favored excuse. Each day is more dreadful than the other, except for one of them; the challenge is for you to figure out which one. I won’t give you a prize if you win, you just get the knowledge that you are smarter than the below average pet rock.

Day of Dreading Neoschool- It’s the day before the work week begins, as well as Neoschool. Every pet is looking at that long list of homework that seems to drag on forever. Owners are prodding them with questions about said homework, which are quickly brushed off with a grunt, and in special cases, an I did it. Which of course is a lie; even I don’t do my homework on the Day of Dreading. I mean, of course I do my homework everyday. I walked to Neoschool uphill both ways too. That’s your cue to say yeah, sure. In some places this day is known as Day of Staying Up All Night Working On Homework.

Day of Sloth Invasion Taxing- Every other tax only happens once a year, but Sloth has managed to find a way around that protocol. Sloth finds his way around everything. Watch your bank accounts carefully and don’t carry too much money on yourself. Or carry a lot and get it stolen and replaced with a nice gold trophy, really it’s up to you. It is also known as Day of Hiding and Running Away at High Speeds.

Day of Zapping- Be it your pet, that new Codestone you just found, or your pets brain (for that quiz they were assigned on Day of Sloth Invasion Taxing) today something will get zapped, fried, or turned to mush. This is a day that the Lab Ray was discovered, so once a week Zappy, Boochi and all others that hold a ray gun of any kind go wild. Don’t get any ideas, however, taking the rainbow gun out and zapping people randomly is still illegal, at least for those not having written this article. I, of course, am exempt from this rule. Watch out. This day is also known as Oh no there goes the 100k I was saving for the Faerie Queen Doll, wasted on a paintbrush to get my pet back to normal. This day currently holds Neopia’s longest name record.

Day of Monotony- Today will either be boring, or very very boring, I often find it the latter. It may be an incredibly long spin on The Wheel of Monotony or a boring lecture, but what ever the cause today will be dull. If you wake up in the morning and look at your calendar and see that today is a Day of Monotony it would be advisable to go right back to sleep, today will be about that exciting anyways. Of course if you do happen to come on any adventures that means either that you have been counting the days wrong in your head, or that the time is messed up. See, Faerieland is a couple hours off of the rest of Neopia because 2a+3b*b/a, but that is something to be explained in another article. This day is also known as Day of Zzzzzzzs.

Day of

Dey of

Of day?

Day of Indecision- I really just can’t figure out what to put here, I have a grea-. Wait a minute, no wonder I can’t decide what to put here, this day is the day of Indecision. Very few people are actually able to decide on anything on this day, and all that do make a decision be assured that it was a very bad one. People often wake up the next day wondering why their pet is mutant, if they decide to make a decision this day, so plainly just don’t make any choices at all today, much less important ones. Sometimes people refer to this as Day of Erm, Wait, No!

Day of Anticipation- This day is the day that everyone just wants to end, just so that they can get to tomorrow. All day they spend looking at the clock waiting, anticipating the moment when the NT is released as well as so many other goodies that will happen this day, but only at the very end! Neopets also look forward to this day because they get out of Neoschool for a whole two days. Isn’t it amazing? This day is sometimes known as

The Day, as Neopets are so exited about the events to come they don’t bother with much more than that.

Day of Rejoicing- Today is the one day out of this whole dreadful week where Neopets are actually happy about something. Today something good always happens, be it a nice compliment or stealing that Negg from the Snowager. Though I’m sure you will be able to find something dreadful about it if you look hard enough. Neopets are celebrating the joy at the one day where they can relax and be happy for all that they have accomplished, even though they were hindered because of this week (like every week to come) was dreadful. For some pets every day is the Day of Rejoicing. It is all how you look at it.

Now that you know all seven dreadful days, you can go out and warn your friends. Even better, don’t go out at all; staying in your Neohome is a much safer route. Call up the Uni Express and they will be sure to send a nice copy of this article to your friend, so that they too will be prepared for how dreadful each week will inevitably be.

 
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