The Neocola Machine

Nobody knows how this mystifying machine works. It is located in the middle of Kreludor, the only moon of Neopia. It all starts with a trip to the Shop Wizard. The different colors of tokens available include red, green and blue, all ranging around 14,000 Neopoints.

After your difficult choice of what token to acquire, you come to the big moment when you drop your token into the slot. You are then approached with three choices. What token you are going to use, what Neocola you are going to have, and how many times you want to press the red button. Some of your Neocola selections include the Dr. Slother, Minion Maid, Smite, and, my personal favourite, Diet Doom. The big red button, in my view, is the most important part. They give you six selections of how many times you would like to press it. 0, 1, 2, 3, 10, and 42 times. After the tough decision making you nervously press the button saying: “Continue towards your Doom.”

And out comes a small booby prize. Perhaps it was a Clockwork Dr. Sloth Toy, or maybe it was Sponge Grundo Sponge. Whatever it was, you were lucky. As the legend says, those who don’t know how to use the machine will perish, leaving only a pile of sludge behind.

Some of the items that come out may include:

1. Clockwork Dr. Sloth Toy- Who knows, maybe this little innocent toy could lead to the destruction of Neopia. But in the mean time, your pet while have a blast playing with it.

2. Sponge Grundo Sponge- The description of this mysterious pet is only two words, “Confused yet?” This mysterious little thing can be used to clean your pet.

3. I Club Sloth T-Shirt- This I club Sloth T-shirt is priced around 100np. This would be a great addition to your Dr Sloth gallery.

4. Kreludan Grundo Slippers- Could these small slippers possibly have anything to do with the Orange Grundos working on Kreludor? Is it possible that they may have some connection with the Grundos turning into massive beasts?

5. Baby Space Fungus- This is possibly one of the most expensive items the Neocola Machine will hand out. It is valued at more then 100,000np! The description says that it will grow really, REALLY big.

The Neocola Machine is colorfully decorated with bright buttons and a comforting sign urging you to buy the cola. “Drink it or perish!” On the side of this machine are the words Dispenser 3000. The word Doom was “mysteriously” crossed out. Nicknamed the Doom Machine, it has become one of the most unwanted places to visit on Neopets.

A rumor has been going around that only one evil creature could be cruel enough, and bent on the destruction of Neopia could have created such an evil machine. That one man could be the one, the only, Dr. Sloth. That’s right. The evil Dr Sloth has possibly returned, seeking the destruction of Neopia. Is he waiting for an unsuspecting victim to use his evil machine on, or are his plans much, much bigger? Has his secret army of orange Grundos become massive enough to launch a full scale attack on the good world of Neopia? Nobody knows.

I managed to get an interview with one of the few people who have gotten a chance to use the Neocola Machine.

Me: What was your experience with the Neocola Machine?

Mr. Anonymous: I was visiting the greatly loved Chocolate store when I had the fortune (or misfortune,) of finding a Blue Neocola Token on the ground. At first I thought to myself, “It’s just another cheap hand out. After a brief visit to the shop wizard my thoughts quickly changed. I was delighted to of found a 15,000np item. I was filled with greed and wanted to immediately sell the token. Then curiosity overtook me.

Me: What happened then?

Mr. Anonymous: I started exploring Neopia, trying to find where this token could be used. Finally, I managed to calm down after two hours of desperately looking. Then it hit me, the evil Dr. Sloth was on the token. I then realized that I most go to Kreludor. And then I saw it, the beautiful Neocola Machine, with its bright lights mystifying me. I realized that it was my destiny to use the Neocola Machine. I had finally found my purpose on Neopets. I clicked on the beautiful Machine, and entered in my choices. I was bubbling with excitement. I was imagining all the rare items that would be tumbling out of the machine, codestones, paintbrushes. I started to drool just thinking about how rich I was about to become. And then, it all happened.

Me: What happened?

Mr. Anonymous: I clicked that fateful last button. The world around me started to spin, and, out of that machine stepped, *sob*

Me: Who stepped out of the machine?

Mr. Anonymous: It was Dr Sloth!

Me: *Gasp.* It couldn’t of been!

Mr. Anonymous: It was. I was too petrified to move. My brain was about to explode with fear and was screaming at my body to move but it didn’t respond. Then, a brave young Lupe came out of no where and pushed me aside. It was like my body had come out of a coma. I suddenly could move again. My legs carried me as fast as they could away from Dr. Sloth. I can only imagine what he would have done to me if that brave Lupe wouldn’t have saved my life.

Me: Wow. What an inspiration. Thank you for your time.

That is only one of the terrifying accounts of Neopets around the globe. When well Dr. Sloth stop this terror?

So far, nobody has mysteriously disappeared. But be warned, the next person could be YOU