How To Use 20 Fishing Items You Thought Were Useless

Very different pets leave the Cavern, especially first time fishers. They trudge all the way back home, halfheartedly carrying the items they’ve caught, which they are quick to dub “worthless pieces of junk.” Owners will agree with this title and wish for something more exciting than kelp or a bit of rotting footwear, which are doomed to either be discarded or donated.

Fishing “junk” is everywhere. Neopia’s systems of exchange, especially the Money Tree, are flooded with it. There are mounds of kelp in various colors, heaps of rotten shoes, and truckloads of mossy rocks, rotting driftwood, sea fungus, bones, broken fishing poles, and cans.

So what good is underwater fishing until your skill level becomes sky high?

To answer that question, you may want to refer to a little list I like to call How to Use 20 Items You Thought Were Useless.

1. An obvious use for any Petrified Bone you might have would be to play fetch with a Gelert. However, you and your Gelert will have much more fun opening a Museum of Ancient Bones. At the grand opening, make sure to go on and on about the science of boneology. You might be making it all up, but the audience doesn’t have to know that.

2. Anyone who’s always dreamed of being a chef only needs an Old Rotten Right/Left Boot to make their dream come true. When placed on the head, rotten boots take on a remarkable resemblance to chef’s hats. No, really, they do. I bet if you walked into the Kelp Restaurant wearing one, they’d hire you on the spot, and all because you look so darn authentic with that boot on your head.

3. You could just wear your Old Rotten Right/Left Shoe, but who would want to be that unstylish? A far better alternative is to toss them into Kiko Lake. (No, that is NOT littering!) Now watch... they float! Isn’t that COOL? And for those of you who can’t appreciate the coolness, you can just poke whoever else is visiting the lake and whisper, “See those floating shoes? They’re haunted!!!” 99% of Neopians will run away at full speed screaming. Now that’s what I call entertainment.

4. Put a Giant Green Kelp on your head. Go on, just do it. Now look in the mirror. Can you believe that funky Neopian with the stylin’ green hair is you?

5. If your neighbor’s been bragging a little too much about their gorgeous garden, all you need is a little Giant Brown Kelp to fix the problem. Once you’ve collected about twenty Giant Brown Kelps, spread them evenly over the annoying neighbor’s most prized plants. The kelps will block out all sunlight as well as slightly squish the plants, making the plants utterly worthless. Ha! Your neighbor’s garden won’t be so perfect anymore.

6. Old Rotten Right Sandals may be useless in their original form, but if you make a few adjustments, they’re a great toy for your pet. Use some Slorg Scissors to detach the ends of each strap from the middle part of the sandal and arrange the straps so that they form a V above the shoe. They should resemble antennae. Now draw a face on the sandal with your Deluxe Coloring Pencils, and you have a great little friend complete with a face and lovely blue antennae. Fun!

7. Spongy Algae is the perfect way to make cleaning the Neohome a fun time for you and your pets. When combined with suds from Bar of Soap, it has been discovered that the Spongy Algae will respond by belting out its favorite songs to entertain you as you use it to sponge up messes. And you thought it was a junk item!

8. The next time you’re bored in a public place and in the mood for a little mayhem, make sure you have some Giant Red Kelp on hand. When no one’s looking, carefully arrange it in a dimly lit area, then point and scream, “Fire!!” (Hint: this method is only recommended with Neopians who are less likely to notice that the “fire” is slightly damp as well as a garden item.)

9. Grey pets will love you forever if you decorate their room with Grey Sea Fern. If you attach the fern to the ceiling, it will hang down, giving your pet something to beautify the room, an entertaining thing to crawl through, and something to match their fur. And all for the low, low price of FREE!

10. Rotting Driftwood is a great prop in any play involving some sort of ruler. Simply stand it up so the flat end is on the floor and the forked end points upwards, and it’s a perfect scepter. If for some reason anyone doesn’t have a script that calls for such, anyone with diabolical plans to rule Neopia should stash it away for later so they can wave it around as they demand random citizens to bow to them.

11. Take your Rusty Old Can along to Neopia Central and you’re in for a great day. Place the lid so that it covers the inside of the can and offer it to passersby, promising there’s something great inside. When they discover it’s empty, you’ll have a fun time being hit on the head with Asparagus.

12. You might want to introduce your pet’s Sludgy to the brand new Bucket of Sludge. You could get to watch a cool fight involving both parties screaming, “No, I’m more Sludgilicious!” (Yes, Buckets of Sludge can talk.)

13. Broken Fishing Poles may not be good for fishing anymore, but they’re still completely useful. If you pretend the fishing pole still works and start to reel in your line, you’ll find it makes the coolest clicking noise ever. Seriously, that noise is amazing. You could put the Tyrannian Concert Hall out of business in no time if you started performing.

14. Make sure your pets always take a Cubical Sea Fungus to Neoschool; it will come in a lot of handy in math class. Instead of going to all the troublesome work of cubing a number, your pet can just place the number on the fungus. That should be good enough for the Neoteacher. If not... well, we won’t worry about that.

15. Sure, you could use a bath plug to plug your bath, but would you really want to be so predictable? I think not. Detach the plug part, and you’ll be left with a hoop that has a chain dangling from it. Attach the hoop part to your ear and you have a lovely dangly earring. The Uni from Unis Clothing will be so jealous.

16. The Rock Fish might look like junk, but if you examine it more closely, I believe Art would be a more appropriate label. Look at how you can gaze into the fish’s soul by looking into his poor, sad eyes – absolutely moving! *sniffle* You don’t find sculptures like that every day. Display it into your Neohome, and I guarantee all will admire it.

17. Dull Grey Pearl, or dirty String of Dazzling Silver Spheres? Use some Peophin soap and you’ll be amazed to find out your “Dull Grey” Pearl is really a String of Dazzling Silver Spheres. Oooh... shiny. o_O

18. When you collect enough Cinder Block Sea Fungi, you can play an exciting game called Stack the Cinder Block Sea Fungus on Another Cinder Block Sea Fungus. w00t! Try your hand at this game, and see if you can break the Neopian record of 152 stacked.

19. Okay, the Broken Toy Sailboat has definitely lost its floatiness. BUT, if you stomp on it a few hundred times, you’ll get a finely ground white powder. Cool, eh? *beams*

20. Frumball? Nah. Gormball? Booooring! Zurroball? As if. Mossyrockball? YEAH!!! Mossyrockball is the ultimate way to put all those Mossy Rocks lying around to use. To play, pass a Mossy Rock to a teammate using ONLY your nose. You and your team of three will try to get your Mossy Rock to the top of the highest tree/plant in the garden before the other team gets there first. Ahhh, Mossyrockball. Now there’s a great time.

As you can clearly see, nothing from the Underwater Fishing Cavern is junk. You can dream of catching a Flask of Rainbow Fountain Water, but take it from me: you’d have a lot more fun with, say, an Old Rotten Left Sandal or some Green Kelp.

And I totally mean that.