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11 Books to Keep Your Pets Away From

by mrpanda1


Have you ever wandered into the Book Shop with your lovely pet looking for some light reading? If you have, you've also likely seen at least one of those "questionable" books -- you know, the ones you really hope your pets don't choose to read. This guide will inform you of the top eleven books to avoid while browsing the Book Shop and some possible consequences of letting your pet read these awful books.

Some will come as a surprise; others are quite self-explanatory. Let's start.

Book One: Science is Fun!

This book is very sneaky. At first glance, you may think, "Well, I would like my pet to be well-educated!" Let me tell you, you don't want them educated by this book. In these pages, your pet could find multiple chemical reactions that will set your expensive Neohome on fire. The expense of this book is certainly less than that of your Neohome. Possibly one of the least destructive scientific recipes in this book involves the use of a Darigan War Machine Toy, something you certainly don't want your pet playing with. In short, this book will only bring you trouble.

Book Two: Tear Jerkers

This book, once again, is a bit sneaky. You may think that the stories in this book are sentimental and well-written, and they are, but the stories are simply too sad. Tears will be streaming from your pet's eyes so forcefully that you may consider purchasing a U-Bend Of Great Justice just to keep dry. Instead of asking "When was the last time we visited the Techo Master?", your pet will plead "Please, please buy me a Grey Paint Brush!"

Book Three: Book of Pain

The title really should be enough to scare both owners and their pets away. However, on occasion, a tough Grarrl comes by and wants to read it. If your pet wants to read this book, the only logical answer is no. Honestly, though, I think the spikes would scare any pet away.

Book Four: Dark Faerie Magic

Like the Book of Pain, this is obviously a bad book for your pet to read. Your pet could learn to conjure spells and make potions that would scare Dr. Sloth himself. Well, maybe not. But you'd definitely be scared when your pet makes a dreaded Scary Dark Potion. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Book Five: Extinct Neopian Languages

The trouble in this book is similar to Science is Fun. You think your pet is getting a good education. They will learn, but they may like a language so much that they start talking fluently in it. You may get dirty looks if your pet walks up to the Plushie Shop in the Neopian Plaza and shouts "Arrragno Lopotic Chelele!"

Book Six: Neopia in Under 18NP A Day

This book, when read, can cause your pet to become overwhelmingly cheap. You don't want your spoiled Royal Draik to request a Red Paint Brush just because it's cheaper! Also, in severe cases resulting from this book, your pet may not let you spend more than 18 Neopoints on them per day. There is nothing worse than seeing your pet living off of Yellow Growth and playing with Headless Von Roo Plushies all day. The only antidote for this condition is to buy them something expensive from the NC Mall (using Neocash, of course). Since you are using Neocash and not Neopoints, your pet should realize what they have been missing and return to normal. Beware: The book "Saving Your Neopoints" can have the same terrible effect on your pets.

Book Seven: Roars and Grrrs

You should only allow this book to be read by your pet if he/she is a Grarrl. This is because the description neglects to tell you that there are some menacing audio clips included in the book. These frightening sounds can scare your pet so badly that they will run to the nearest desk and hide under it for at least, and I stress at least, 6 hours. What if you really wanted to play Guess the Card? You would have to wait.

Book Eight: One Bad Bruce

This book can make your pet think that they can be as "cool" as the Bad Bruce. They will ask you to buy only the most expensive items for them from Unis Clothing. They will likely get a new haircut, whether you like it or not. While it is normally good for a Neopet to have some independence in their life, this is not the kind of independence you'd want them to have.

Book Nine: On Tour with Chomby and the Fungus Balls

Everyone's favorite band is Chomby and the Fungus Balls! (Sorry, Yes Boy Ice-Cream.) That's what makes this book so evil. Between sold-out shows at the Concert Hall, they are some of the most mischievous pets around. They often claim to be the "Usuki Police" and criticize the shopkeeper at Usukiland for having too many Usuki dolls. How terrible! Trust me, that's the least of their evils. Your pet's image of Chomby and the Fungus Balls will be severely distorted after reading this book. I'm surprised the band's shows are still sold-out.

Book Ten: How to Cheat at Bagatelle

Well, we all know that cheating is wrong and that we would never want our pets to be caught doing it. So, I ask, how did this book find its way into the hands of pets all over Neopia? After a little snooping, I found that this book was actually released from the Bagatelle stand in the Deserted Fairgrounds. This must be because the information is fake. There really is no way to cheat at Bagatelle; the book teaches you virtually nothing. The book only makes pets want to go to the Bagatelle stand to test their new "skills", all the while draining your bank account. Pretty sneaky. The real question here is "Why does a pet gain intelligence from reading this book?"

Book Eleven: Ruling the Universe

This book is the worst of the worst. Keep it out of your pet's hands at all costs. Inside the book, the pages say only glorifying things about Dr. Sloth and his minions. Never mind the chance of your pet being brainwashed and asking for you to buy them the Secret Lab Map so they can turn into robots. This book smells similar to a Cybunny Rotten Carrot Attack, and trust me, that is one of the worst smells in Neopia -- or anywhere else, for that matter. Unless you want a smelly robot for a pet, I urge you to stay away from this book.

Well, that's all. I hope you absorb some of this information so that the next time your pet wants a new book, you'll be ready. Remember, these aren't the only "questionable" books out there! They can appear at any book store around Neopia -- Yes, even at the innocent Faerie Bookshop. Thank you for reading this, and good luck in the crazy world of Neopian bookshops.

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