The Trials of Friendship

Dear Ceri,

Today it rained. The grass was plastered down in contempt to the skies. It was a thick, translucent black that blanketed the ground and heavens with shadows. The dotted sparkles that blinked up there reminded me of you-your eyes, I mean…Mr. Peddock from the Depot called them sapphires. We didn't know what they were, remember? Remember when we sat under the nighttime sky for hours until it was the next day?

I'm not supposed to be awake right now. It is cold and quiet. Kat is sleeping and the dishwasher is running. Remember when we overloaded the soap and it overflowed? Kat was mopping it for a week. After that, we went down to the dock and had ice creams. They melted in our hand, Ceri, remember? The ice cream immersed into the salty water like a hand reaching for its companion. We laughed. I remember your laugh. It sounds like bells. I was always jealous of you. Can you forgive me?

Do you remember, Ceri? I do, but I don't want to. I don't want to remember the fight. And what came after the fight.

Truly,

Rhoslyn

* * *

Dear Rhoslyn,

Can I forget? Can I forget how you neglected me? How you found new friends and left me alone, like I was the old model? Like I was the stupid one and you were the smart one?

But we shouldn't dwell on that. Let's think about happier times. I have a far worse memory than you, but I do remember one time when Kat told us to go do something, so we built that pyramid out of sand. That took six hours to make, and then your little brother rode his tricycle through it and destroyed it. It's just like our friendship…it took years to build, yet seconds to destroy.

I'm hungry for home. I want to walk home from school and go into my old house, not this new, unreal place. I want to see your face…I want to know you once more. Here in Terror Mountain, we never get rain, only snow. I pine for rain. Rain is such a cleansing experience. I wish to run outside and dance in the rain. Remember when we danced in the rain? We tracked in muddy Ixi hoof prints and Bee got all mad at us. She said we should've been more careful about what we did.

I want some warmth in me. Snow is falling, swirling around the house as if to imprison me in its icy blast. The fire is smoldering and it's dark and damp in here. I must fetch another log.

Yours,

Ceri

* * *

Dear Ceri,

I don't want our friendship to be a pile of smoldering, painful memories. Memories won't make you cookies, or sing you happy birthday, or hug you when you're sad, or wipe your tears when your burdens become too much, or dance in the rain with you. We were inseparable, Ceri. Our souls relied on the other to share hopes, fears and ambitions. The secrets we confessed, the whispered gossip and the love we found in one another quenched our thirst for friendship, companionship, love and joy. I know we can't have it back. Any of it. But, this can't be the end! These consequences will leave a scar on my heart. Especially after what you did.

I never neglected you. I was afraid. I thought I was losing you. You seldom spoke and the happiness we both shared no longer accompanied our times together. When you abandoned me in spirit, I thought my heart would break and that my mind would melt.

How could you? The devastation I faced weighted my soul until I couldn't breathe. Everything crumbled at my feet and nothing seemed worth doing without you. But, I couldn't face you. After that scene of remorse when you expressed your more eminent feelings for me, I couldn't.

Why? Why did you humiliate me? It was worse than neglecting. It was exclusion, loathing and failure. I thought that we had hit a bump that would bar our friendship from ever surfacing again. That day, when you told me that I would never be enough for you, my world ended. I can still hear your chattering Ixi voice ringing ominously in my ears, "Rhoslyn, you are the most abominable and heartless creature I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. I can no longer pretend to be your friend, from hereinafter, our friendship never was and you are invisible to me. I want nothing to do with you and you can never have to do with me. Thank yourself for that, Rhoslyn, goodbye."

Ceri, had I known those words would come out of your mouth, changing and crushing my joy to pieces, I would have done anything to get you back. I would have put a stop to starvation if you could have given me a chance. But, no. you were always the stubborn, determined type.

I wish you could be here. Why did Terror Mountain take you? Meridell has lost its glow and charisma. My monotonous life tolls only by the wish that you will come back and everything will be like when we were little. But it won't.

Please, Ceri, try, try and remember when we had everything. We would imagine a land where wishes were reality and we had all our secret games and places, Kat and Bee thought we were silly. Your younger sister, Halley the Pink Cybunny dropped the cake we made on my Weewoo's birthday, remember? Those hours and days and moments we spent together (nearly all the time) were so real, but now the memories seem to fade by day and that world seems farther away than Kreludor.

How can the world still turn when misery saturates my days? In the quiet, as my house sleeps, only the memories surround me. I had better go prepare Kat's breakfast.

Truly,

Rhoslyn

* * *

Dear Rhoslyn,

Me? I was wrong? What about everything that you did to me, Rhoslyn? I thought our friendship meant something to you. Remember when I would come over and help you with your homework so you wouldn't fail Neoschool? Remember when I came over and helped you save what was left of your furniture after that horrid little Weewoo of yours ate it? Remember all the things I did for you?

Remember all the changes I made for you? I stopped hanging out with those girls that I liked because you said that they weren't right for me! I remember your words-"Ceri, stop hanging out with that crowd. You're only pushing for trouble."

I thought you had good sense. Note the past tense-I thought you had good sense. I stopped hanging out with them for you. Why was I always swayed by you? You infinitely got the better of me, in every situation possible. How does that work?

I'm too mad to hold my pen now. Don't expect a letter back.

* * *

Dear Ceri,

I don't know how to start this. Words won't come fast enough for my contempt at this moment. For once, hold your tongue and listen: my Weewoo never ate the furniture; I never said that, I was always better at you in Neoschool and you are a drama queen. That felt good.

Ceri, this is impossible. How can we go on like this? We can't let the past control the present! I miss everything. I even miss the silent days we had together. At least then I was with you. How can we mend this enormous massacre if we are an ocean apart?

I can't remember. I don't even know how it started. Is it worth it, though? Every night as I lie in bed, that voice in my brain asks, "What would have happened if you had thought about your actions? What if? What if? Why?" I have no answers. Do you?

Tell me the truth, Ceri. What do you really think about me? Kat is at work and I have to deliver a letter to the Neopian Post Office.

Truly,

Rhoslyn

* * *

Dear Rhoslyn,

We cannot go on like this forever, true. Perhaps it would be better to sever ties and let this end here? Or shall we try to go on, continue and watch this unfold?

What do I think of you? You will always remain in my heart…even though the letters I write to you let out my unheard anger, I still hold you so closely in my heart, wrapped tightly like a Christmas package. There is no one to replace you…no one I can find here or anywhere on this planet.

So what do I say? Nothing. Silence is golden.

Lovingly,

Ceri

* * *

Dear Ceri,

You don't know how much that meant. Those words-written or said-mean absolutely everything. Although our friendship is hung crookedly on a wall of desperation, maybe we can straighten it.

Now, what do I think of you? Although you're obstinate, you are concealed positively by love. Inside, I have seen the imagination that powers you. Your heart will always neighbor mine. The hand of my heart can finally, devotedly clasp yours once more.

My Ixi ear has heard enough. Silence passes through it splendidly. If there is anything left to say about this new awakening, it's this: I'm sorry. For everything.

What more? What now? Nothing. Or everything. Take your pick.

Truly,

Rhoslyn

* * *

Dear Rhoslyn,

There are no words for anything I could possibly say.

I will keep it simple, short and sweet.

There is only so much time, only so much we can accomplish. We can't let the past ruin that .I am sorry for all I said. I am sorry for all my actions. I am sorry for the sake of being sorry.

Come with me, and we shall walk hand in hand. Come with me and once again we shall stay together.

Let's start over-together.

* * *

Dear Ceri,

What will this path be like? Will it be the same?

Before minds are made up, decisions decided, think.

Down a lane, sun dying, grass beginning to dew, air raw, a light is lit anew. An old candle is lit in the closet of darkness-a closet where we played, Ceri.

I am not afraid. I will lift my face to difference and originality-with you. Begin.

* * *

*Authors' Notes: We hope you enjoyed our story. Comments--positive or negative--please neomail us both. Larenbeka wrote as Rhoslyn and Erileen wrote as Ceri...