There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 138,002,725 Issue: 286 | 6th day of Eating, Y9
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Fun at the Fairground

by mystery_island111223


“Now close your eyes!”

      I quickly placed an item in front of my ghost Koi, Jay.

      “Open them!”

      Jay opened his eyes and was face to face with a mutant Puppyblew.

      He screamed.

      “Wasn’t that funny?” I collapsed on the floor laughing. “That was Apoc’s present to you! It was his idea that I deliver it in that exact manner!”

      “I guessed!” Jay muttered.

      “Did he like it?” A Christmas Bori named Apoc walked into the living room. “Well, Jay? Did you like your birthday present?” He giggled.

      “You guys are jerks!” Jay likely would have said something quite different, but he was quite busy keeping the mutant Puppyblew away from his face.

      “You didn’t say that when I painted Licorice Tyrannian,” I said. Licorice was Jay’s Bearog. “Anyway I have something that will make up for Apoc’s little joke. We’re going to the circus!”

      “Oh joy!” said Jay sarcastically. “Now can you help me out? Apoc’s little joke is biting my fin off!”

      So very shortly the three of us went skipping off to the fair, followed by my two other pets, ApocClone the fire Grarrl and Min the yellow Tonu. More accurately I was skipping. Jay was preoccupied with the mutant Puppyblew’s tenancy to attack him every twelve seconds and the rest of my pets were trying their best to look like they didn’t know me.

      “You know you guys should consider yourselves lucky! For a long time there was no circus. It’s pretty recent, you know!”

      “Hang on!” Min spoke up for the first time all day. “Roo Island is the other way!”

      I laughed.

      “Why would we go to Roo Island? Did you think we were visiting the merry go round there? No, we’re going to a real circus, the Deserted Fairground!”

      “But you said it was pretty recent!”

      “Exactly,” I began. “The Haunted Woods was just one area at first! Hey, here we are!”

      We stared at the fairground for a few moments. Then we heard a loud yipping noise. I turned and saw the Puppyblew was running towards Mystery Island.

      “Well, who needs him?” I cried. “We can have fun by ourselves. Hey! Stop following the Puppyblew! Get back here!!”

      After a long exhilarating chase after my pets and a solemn resolution to never increase their speed again, we entered the Deserted Fairground.

      “Look, guys!” I screamed. “It’s the roller coaster!” I ran up to the Krawk in charge. “Excuse me, sir! My Grarrl here has never had the joy of riding a roller coaster! Is it open?”

      “What Grarrl?” the Ixi asked.

      “ApocClone, get back here!!”

      When I had returned with ApocClone safely right behind me, I asked the Ixi again for a ride.

      “Sorry. The roller coaster is extremely dangerous. I couldn’t possibly let you ride it!”

      “I’ll give you 10 000 NP for a ticket!”

      “Climb in!”

      So despite ApocClone’s protests, we climbed in. We had a great ride. I almost didn’t mind the lack of safety features whatsoever. I’m pretty sure ApocClone did, though.

      Eventually we came back to the start. The Ixi there, however, was so nice he let us have an extra ride. I was overjoyed.

      “Look at that, ApocClone! These employees at the Deserted Fairground are sure nice! He just gave us an extra ride! What’s he saying?”

      “He’s saying the brake is broken!” ApocClone looked at me. “MI, what can we do?”

      “I know what I’m doing!” I jumped out of my seat and fell onto the dirty track of the roller coaster, then quickly climbed out of the ride.

      “Where’s ApocClone?” asked Jay when I found him and the others again.

      “He’s fine. Let’s try a game! Look, there’s Bagatelle!”

      We hurried over. I pushed Apoc up to the stand.

      “Hello, little Bori!” A tall Lupe looked down on him. “How would you like a shot? Just launch the Mootix for a chance to win big!”

      Apoc stared at him for a while.

      “Hey, Min, why do I think something bad is about to happen?” I turned to my Tonu.

      Min rolled his eyes.

      “Maybe because Apoc’s a vegetarian and is strongly opposed to any violence towards petpets and petpetpets of any kind!” Min was about to continue, but at that moment Apoc had began attacking the Lupe with the Bagatelle board.

      “Come on, guys!” I quickly pulled my two remaining pets away.

      “Why is it our family events always turn out like this?” Jay sighed as he was dragged off.

      “I’ll tell you what, Jay!” I smiled at him. “You’re the birthday Koi; you can pick the next game!”

      Jay smiled.

      “Okay!” Jay pointed at a large hammer and a machine. “I want to play Test Your Strength!”

      Soon we were at the back of the line for Test Your Strength.

      “I don’t understand why Arnold sent us to the back of the line!” I said. “We waited, were about to start, and then he got all angry!”

      “That’s probably because you insulted his overalls!” Min rolled his eyes.

      “Well, can I help it if he has no fashion sense! You know, I’m beginning to think that this fairground is not a very nice place!”

      Min held Jay back from attacking me.

      Finally we got to the front of the line. Arnold glared at me and gave Jay a mallet. Jay scored five points and was presented with a Roast Tentacle. I thought of what Apoc would say.

      “I don’t understand!” cried Jay. “I’ve been training at the Academy for ages! I should be doing great!”

      A level two Mynci was next in line. He swung with the mallet and scored ninety three points. Jay blinked.

      “Thanks, bro!” said the Mynci as he collected his winnings.

      “Wait a minute!” shouted Jay. “Bro!? That Mynci is your brother!?”

      All the pets waiting in line formed a large circle around Arnold. He began to back away slowly.

      “Get him!!” cried Jay. Jay, followed by a mob, attacked Arnold while screaming about rigged games and refunds.

      Min and I crept off slowly.

      “I’ve had it, Min!!” I cried. “I try and I try to have a nice family outing, and it winds up a scene of unimaginable chaos! Jay started a riot, Apoc’s getting escorted from the premises by those big Gnorbus and I don’t really remember what happened to ApocClone. But I’m sure he’s fine. Either way, I’m sick of this dump! Let’s just go home!”

      “You have no intentions of rescuing everyone else?” Min inquired.

      “No, I don’t!” Someone tapped my shoulder.

      “What now!?!” I screamed. “Do you want me to play yet another unsafe and hazardous game!? Do you want to feed me some poor petpet’s tentacles?! Get away from me!!!”

      Jacko turned away.

      “Fine,” he said. “I was going to give you this Biscuit Paint Brush, but now you can forget it!”

      At that point I snapped.

      I grabbed the mallet from Test Your Strength and ran at the mob, which had stuck Arnold on a tree branch. He was hanging by his overalls and wailing while they poked him with sharp sticks.

      I whacked the tree so hard that it fell down, Arnold with it. The mob scattered, leaving a frightened Arnold and a panting Jay behind.

      I next smashed through Apoc’s Bagatelle board, which was probably best, as he looked like he was about to do something very violent with it. Apoc got up and followed Jay, Min and I, as he was now unarmed and the Lupe looked angry.

      In a final act of insanity, I threw the mallet as hard as I could. It landed on the roller coaster tracks, right as ApocClone’s cart went roaring by. The collision flipped the cart and ApocClone went rolling out.

      Finally I calmed down. Breathing heavily, I beckoned to my pets and we began heading home.

      “That was fun!” said Min.

      “What!?!” cried ApocClone. “Something horrible happened to everybody!”

      “Except for me!” laughed Min.

      Suddenly we heard a faint growling. The mutant Puppyblew came tearing over the hills, leaped onto Min’s face and began biting him.

      “Talk about irony,” I said, shaking my head. “Let’s go home!”

The End

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