The Neopian Night Sky
Welcome, friends! I’m Cornelius Astronomicus Telescopicus Constellicus Smith, but you may call me Cory. I’m here to teach you all about the numerous constellations in Neopia! We’ll cover the Altadorian constellations, then a few others that I recently discovered! So, are you ready? Telescopes aimed? Notebooks open? Okay, let’s go!
1. The Sleeper
Ah, the Sleeper! The most famous constellation of the Altador plot. Interesting side note, here: Though the official constellation shows only the Sleeper’s eyes, astronomical experts *cough* have determined that the constellation stretches beyond her eyes. She is said to be wearing a clown wig, large square glasses, and a fish costume. Of course, the Sleeper constellation is the simplest of all. It’s two short diagonal lines! Who came up with that? Really? It’s a disgrace to astronomy!
2. The Dreamer
Yes, the Dreamer. Just gazing at the constellation makes me sleepy. Or is that because I stay up all night, stargazing? Oh, well. Anyway, Psellia, as the Dreamer is known, was rumoured to have fallen asleep listening to King Altador’s speeches. Everyone thought this was very funny, and when someone saw the constellation for the first time, they couldn’t report it because they were laughing too hard. So, Psellia is known henceforth as the Dreamer. It’s not that funny, really. Next constellation!
3. The First To Rise
This constellation is aptly named, as you can only see it between 7:00-8:00 a.m. NST. When this constellation was discovered, most people thought it was Sasha’s, as it greatly resembled a tambourine. And even more so when people figured out the constellation near Sasha’s statue. It turns out that the constellation belongs to Siyana. Supposedly, she would always wake up early and disturb the other members of the 12 Protectors. I wouldn’t know.
4. The Farmer
Florin, the Farmer, is the next constellation for us to cover. Though he is often associated with wheat and grain farming, he actually felt he was better suited to produce. The stalks in his hand are not wheat, but actually asparagus! Rumour spread about Adam being the next constellation, but Donna quickly stomped these untruths. Though some say a Number Six star formation is out there…
5. The Dancer
A great number of conspirators were pleased when this constellation was discovered. It turns out there was a constellation based on Sasha’s tambourine! Unfortunately, though, many bands in the Tyrannian Concert Hall were outraged when they didn’t receive musical constellations. As a result, the Tyrannian Concert Hall was transformed into the Tyrannian Astronomical Society for a whole month until Yes Boy Ice Cream got over it. Tsk, tsk, tsk, what has happened to the bands of today?
6. The Wave
I, for one, hate the ocean! It gets my fur all wet! But astronomers flocked to the docks to figure out this one! I even saw a group of scuba diving Techos one day! People today are crazy. They even rioted against sailors who were trying to sail their ships because apparently they were “disturbing the waves”. I reluctantly ventured to the shore after the Defenders of Neopia calmed the raging mob down, but had to quickly return to my work. Notably, during the discovery of this constellation, prices of blow dryers skyrocketed.
7. The Gladiator
Now, I’m going to let in you in a big secret. Really big. I, Cornelius Astronomicus Telescopicus Constellicus Smith, am a member of Punch Club. I cannot get enough punch! I love Cherry Punch, Strawberry Punch, Lime Punch, and Watermelon Punch… Er, anyway. I’m not one to sink to such brutish acts as fighting, but I suppose if that’s what you’re interested in, go to the Coliseum. But don’t go around back. My punch!
8. The Collector
I am far too wealthy to be annoyed by tithes, but most citizens felt that the Collector did not deserve to be a Protector at all, and considering he took their money, I can’t blame them. His symbol is one often associated with currency. I speak, of course, of scales. Again, as most astronomers look for more star connections than possible, a lot of junior stargazers were convinced that the scales were in reality the handles of a bicycle, causing the Altador Bike Shop to inflate prices dramatically, overprice their wares, lower their prices too much, and go out of business in one season. They actually set a record, and the Shop Association presented them with the “Worst Business Men of the Year” award.
9. The Thief
The Thief constellation led to the assumption that the Lenny Conundrum Lenny would know the next clue to the puzzle. People did all sorts of crazy things: They went back and solved all the puzzles, he reported receiving numerous daggers and Meepit Plushies, and the PPA had to be called in when a crate of live Meepits was sent to the Lenny Conundrum Lenny. I make it a point never to play with daggers. Far too sharp and scary. Like Meepits.
10. The Gatherer
I am a proud owner of a Gobbler (Yes, I did get it from the Calendar) and can sympathize greatly with the Petpet collector. They’re so cute! Yes, well, anyway, it's interesting to note that while the Gatherer is most known for her work with animals, she is seen in the constellation gathering fruit. I wanted it to be her picking up a Snarhook, but I was overruled. *grumbles*
11. The Protector
When I was trying to solve the puzzle, I had finally saved Altador from flood. I walked to the spectral Minitheus, my head up high. But the ethereal beast pushed me away from the necklace! I was outraged! I, Cornelius Astronomicus Telescopicus Constellicus Smith, had been plot-glitched! Naturally, I devised an elaborate and ruthless plan, and that beast got his comeuppance, but I was very emotionally scarred. Note again, due to insane Neopians, the price of any item with the word ‘Amulet’ in it was jacked up. Unfortunately, the owners of the Altador Amulet Co., made the same mistake the Bike Shop did, and priced themselves out of business. We really need some better shopkeepers in Altador.
12. The Hunter
The most obvious of the constellations, really. A hunter who has a bow. No crazy meanings, no secret clues. That didn’t stop yet another shop being swamped: Altadorian Bows, Inc. You really have to wonder if the Altador plot was good for the economy. But most people got over the insanity of it, as the plot was over. All twelve constellations filled the night sky. It was a great victory for astronomers everywhere. Hurrah!
Now I will divulge the other, less famous constellations. Only the elite stargazers have discovered these celestial gems, and some say they aren’t there at all. Bully to them.
13. The Space Faerie
Sara (see “Kidnapped By a Wannabe Villain”, week 272) is an iffy inclusion as a constellation, but I’ll include her anyway. It seems as though the Space Faerie can transform into a group of stars resembling her, and fly at super fast speeds. Great for going to visit the Alien Aishas. I decided to include it because it's fairly easy to spot around Kreludor and the Space Station, and I qualify it as a constellation.
14. Chomby and the Fungus Balls
(See “5. The Dancer”, above) While all the bands playing at the Concert Hall were busy looking for their own star groups, only one ensemble found one: Chomby and the Fungus Balls. The constellation clearly depicts the Chomby surrounded by three fungus balls. Of course, M*YNCI threw a ghastly tantrum, but I suppose that’s the price of fame.
15. The Great and Mighty Staff
This was the first constellation to ever grace the Neopian sky, depicting figures of great wisdom. Occasionally, a new star figure would be discovered, or an old one would disappear, but the great figures always instilled a sense of authority in all pets. Some of the powerful images: Poptart, Borovan, Droplet, Snowflake, Mr. Insane, El Picklesaur.
16. The Faeries
*This passage, depicting a constellation representing many types of faeries, has been removed due to the author squealing about faeries that haven’t been released yet. Have a nice day.*
I bet you didn’t know about all those unreleased faeries, eh? Well, I hope you enjoyed our trip in to the world of Neopia’s night sky and its magical starry figures. I, Cornelius Astronomicus Telescopicus Constellicus Smith, bid you Goodnight!