teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 133,024,427 Issue: 274 | 12th day of Sleeping, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Bug Hors d'oeuvres!

by purplepassiony2k


Also by 72novacane

Say what? Oh yeah, you are reading my title correctly! This isn’t another gross foods article, though, and no, I haven’t lost my mind. Bug eating is not at the top of my list of fun things to do. However, sometimes all you need is a little silliness, and I thought it would make a fun story for the Neopian Times! Edible insects; you may feel that these two words do not even belong in the same sentence. But, now that I've got your attention, even if you never try the following cuisine, you'll laugh out loud, squirm uncomfortably, and possibly even lick your lips while reading this deliciously creepy cuisine article.

So let’s begin... imagine sitting down to the dinner table (you, not your Neopet!) and being served a bowl of thick, slimy worms. It's enough to make most owners' stomachs turn. But in most parts of Neopia that same meal makes our Neopets' mouths water! If we could only get over the 'yuck factor'! Once you master that, you can close your eyes and toss a few of these bugs into your mouth! Nonetheless, just remember this is just a pretend dare from your beloved pets! LOL.

If you've accepted the challenge, "Would you like some flies with your order?" *giggles*

1. Patrapiller and Honey: My favorite bug cuisine and now hopefully yours! A little taste of heaven!! Yummy patrapillers covered in honey! Sure to be a favorite at your parties. Great just for munching too! You may also find that they are SO good you'll be offering them to friends as a snack at parties. Perfect for after-dinner or any time you want!

2. Fried Suwek: And then, there's the queen mother of all fried yummy goodness... sutek bean batter dripping off a Suwek on a stick, deep-fat fried to a goldeny-browny crisp. Dipped in a little ketchup and/or mustard. You just can't go wrong. Why not try it with cheese too? Try a couple, one is never enough! They're a very popular snack! Mmmm.

3. Chocolate Coated Flies: Are you in the mood for a candy that's not the same old thing? Who wouldn't love a bug if it was coated in chocolate? Well I couldn't agree more, so far I have yet to find one thing that doesn't taste good with a chocolate goo over it. This is truly an old fashioned taste of goodness, and just think... there's a tasty surprise in every one! *smiles*

4. Peppered Kersla Bug: While definitely tasty, it just looks so alien to our eyes. This bite-size little creamy decadent 'jewel' is sinfully delicious, though! With a breathtaking gooey creamy underbelly, covered with a nice and crunchy sumptuous yellow and red outer shell. Yum! I recommend sharing them with a special someone, especially your neofriends. Add pepper or garlic as desired. Who can argue with that? ;)

5. Fried Worm Stew: Apparently a staple for millions of Neopets and one of the major protein sources for them, yet what an odd combination of worms and stew. Well, it seems to work. Long, thin slimy ones. Short, fat, juicy ones.The stew's tasty and not too overpowering, a favorite for young and old alike! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it as you could even have the perfect beginning to a truly memorable gathering.

6. Peanut Butter Spiders: Addictive, man, these things really are sumptuous. The first one you try, you might not really think much of it, but if you pop the whole thing in your mouth, these things rock. The texture takes a little getting used to but once the peanut butter melts in your mouth the texture takes on a whole new meaning. And they taste good!

7. Grackle Bug on a Stick: But the truth is pretty much anything you can shove on a stick tastes amazing; think of this as perfect walking-around chow. This is one of Neopia's favorite foods-on-a-stick! I'm not too sure why but the stick does make it easier to eat, and a lot more fun! Because bugs are efficient in their protein, they can be a high-protein meal for you too! There's something on a stick for everyone! Yay!

8. Frog Leg Pizza: Ah, how you love those tantalizing frog legs especially on a crispy crust, and sweet sauce bubbles through the mounds of melting, oozing cheese forming a perfectly delicious pizza! If you have never tried this item before I can see how you might be a little apprehensive, but bite in and you'll love it. Hold the anchovies!

9. Snail Cream Cone: A delicacy of fresh snails offer a truly superb flavor that is complemented by the soft, chewy meat that melts in your mouth. There is nothing that spectacular about snails, and that is what takes this dessert to a whole new level and promises to keep your tastebuds tantalized. It doesn’t get any better than this. *Drip* ... Oops... *wipes drool off the keyboard* ;)

10. Grundo Space Grub Platter: You might squirm at first, but you'll like it. Don't worry if the little bugger is climbing around on your tongue... crunch, squirt and swallow... and wash it down with a Fizzy Quiggle Drink. Others enjoy them with ketchup... or at least a butter sauce. (Awww come on, that gag reflex is all "mind over matter." Once you master that, you can close your eyes and toss a few of these bugs into your mouth!) Mmm!

To be honest, my pets have gone to the ends of the Neopia, to their backyard, and under the couch to find culinary inspiration, and now, after years of experimentation with bugs they hope you enjoyed the results, but before you go here's a few last thoughts for those who decide to eat adventurously:

Always try to cook insects.

Never eat bugs you find dead.

Don't eat bugs that bite back!

If it smells really bad, don't eat it!

I'd love to hear from you if you have a dish you love eating, but your family and neofriends think it's repulsive! (I admit this may not mean the beginning of a bug-eating trend. *rolls eyes*)

Bon appétit!

-Chelle (Gooey Goodies Goddess!)

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


It Must Be Love
"Look at me just throw money away." She opens her fingers and the little red coin falls, landing with a clatter. "I can't pick up the love I hold for you and just drop it down the sink..."

by icegirl_sara


Native Nuisance
Maybe you should have bought one too.

by jjjellybean121


Those Pesky Petpets
I'll never make it out.

Idea by neodudesm

by devil_in_a_red_dress


The Hoarders: Part Six
"Are you ready for your second day?" The muscles on his face twitched a little, but he kept his expression serious. "You've definitely proven yourself already, so I think today we can move to the next level."

by ruff_zette

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.