Kidnapped By a Wannabe Villain by animalnutz1993
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Dr. Sloth was angry. Very angry, in fact. Nobody was taking
him seriously as a villain anymore! All the comic creators were making comics
in the Neopian Times about him being in his underpants or cuddling a teddy bear.
Nobody at the Bad Guy Gym was taking him seriously! In the past week, the Ghost
Lupe had taped a pair of polka-dotted boxers to Sloth's treadmill, Razul had placed
a teddy bear on top of Sloth's weights, and Vira had painted his locker pink!
In his fury, Sloth resulted into doing what he
did to channel out his anger: he got out his crayons and drew diabolical plans
with his bear, EvilSnuggler. That made him feel a little better; that is, until
one of his assistant Grundos came running into his office with some bad news.
"Sir," he gasped, waving the newspaper. "She's
done it again. She's called you a green chicken again."
"AGAIN?? Arggh!" Sloth crumpled his paper and
snatched the Times, unfolding it and darting his eyes across the page, his ruby-red
eyes getting narrower after every line. "She also called me immature! Idiot
writer…do you know what you are, animalnutz?!" Sloth threw down the paper and
shouted to the ceiling. "You're nothing but a poopie-head!!"
He hunched up his shoulders and crossed his arms.
"I'll show her," he muttered. "Somehow I'll get back at her…but how?" he picked
up the newspaper again and pondered. "Oh, I know…" he smiled with his pointed
teeth. "I'll kidnap one of her Neopets and turn it into a Virtupet!"
And Sloth came up with a brilliant plan to pick
out which pet he would kidnap from that innocent writer that only spoke the
truth. He went to the writer's lookup, closed his eyes, and pointed randomly.
He opened his eyes and he was pointing at a Brown Uni.
"Right," he said, satisfied. "We strike tomorrow
morning! But first I need to do my evil laugh! Ahem: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
~*~
Sloth had very precise instructions for his minions
on how to capture the writer's Uni. He wanted her blindfolded before she could
see the Grundos and put two and two together. He wanted her stuffed in a bag
and flown back to the Space Station. He wanted them to open the bag and roll
her out of it before him while he looked sinister and he wanted her blindfold
removed just then so that she could gasp in horror at his sight and whisper
his name in fear. What he GOT was a little different.
You see, the Grundos did everything Sloth told
them to do, but Wintria didn't. As the Uni tumbled out of the burlap bag, she
said indignantly, "Hey, watch it!"
"Hello, lowly Neopian," said Sloth in a mocking
sticky-sweet voice. "You are animalnutz's daughter, are you not?"
"Yeah, and who wants to know?" asked Wintria
defiantly. It was then that a Grundo untied her blindfold and she could see
her captor. But instead of gasping in horror like Sloth had wanted, she only
gained a look of indifference.
"Oh," she said in a bored tone. "It's only you.
Well, look at it this way, Wintria," she said to herself. "At least you weren't
kidnapped by a REAL villain."
"Whaddaya mean?" asked Sloth defensively. "I'M
a villain! I have lasers, see? I have evil plans, see? I even have my own maniacal
laugh! Listen: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Dude, your lasers look like something out of
a cartoon, your 'evil plans' are drawn in crayon, and your maniacal laugh sounds
like my Angelpuss on Bath Day."
Sloth grunted. This sure wasn't what he was expecting!
"We'll see how cocky you are after a day or two in my dungeon while I prepare
my VirtupetCoolZapper9000!"
"You came up with the name for that thing yourself,
didn't you?"
"Shut up. Men, take her to the dungeon!" Sloth
ordered.
"Okay, Sloth, whatever," Wintria rolled her eyes
as she was led to the dungeons. Sloth decided to tag along, since he was bored.
Once they were down in the dungeons one of the Grundos moved to open one of
the button-operated doors.
"No! Not that-" Sloth cried out, but it was too
late. The door was open, and he, Wintria and the two Grundos were gazing into
a room with pink walls and a purple carpet, with plushies and Usukis everywhere.
In the corner was a small table with a plastic tea set sitting on it.
"What is that?" asked Wintria, smirking.
"Nothing," said Sloth swiftly, quickly pressing
the button and closing the door.
They moved to a different cell with bars instead
of a shiny metal door. One of the Grundos unlocked the cell and Sloth growled,
"Get in, before my men make you!"
"If you insist," said Wintria sarcastically,
walking into the cell. Sloth pouted; he wanted to see her dragged in! The Grundo
closed the door and locked it. Sloth took this opportunity to leer at Wintria
through the bars.
"I'll Virtupet-ize you tomorrow," he said sinisterly.
"Whatever," said Wintria, gazing out the window
at endless space. Sloth grunted and stomped off to work on his VirtupetCoolZapper9000.
~*~
The next day when Sloth came by to pick up his
victim, what he saw made his jaw drop. She and the guard were playing Cellblock!
"What is this?" cried out Sloth indignantly.
The Grundo guard jumped up.
"Forgive me, sir," he implored. "But she tempted
me so that I just couldn't resist! She called me a s-er, I mean, she called
me a Peadackle!"
"That's not what I called you," corrected Wintria.
"I called you a Sloth." The Grundo winced.
"WHAT???" roared Sloth. He couldn't believe it;
he was being compared to a Peadackle! He snatched Wintria from the table and
glared at the Grundo. "I'll deal with you later," he growled. And with that
he pushed Wintria to the Zap Room.
"Zap Room," Wintria read the sign on the door.
"I'm guessing you came up with the name for that one, too."
"Ooh, so smart-mouthy!" Sloth stamped his foot.
The door opened and Wintria was strapped to a metal chair. Pointing at the metal
chair was a big laser with lots of light bulbs and buttons on it.
"Ooh, scary," Wintria rolled her eyes.
"All right, men," Sloth positioned himself at
the controls. "When I flip this switch, we'll see Neopia minus one smart aleck!"
his eyes flashed and he took the chance to laugh maniacally.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
And he flipped the switch. Nothing happened.
The light bulbs didn't blink and the buttons didn't flash. "What happened?"
pouted Sloth.
"Dude, you forgot to plug it in," pointed out
Wintria. Sloth turned and saw the spark plug lying next to the outlet.
"Hmph," he grunted as he plugged it in. "Now
let's try this again: MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
But before he could flip the switch, a shrill
elderly voice rang through the vast room.
"Frankie-kins!" it called. Sloth turned pale
and looked like he wanted to hide under the control panel. Waddling from the
door was a woman, if you could call her that. She was stout and plump and had
green, wrinkly skin, spectacles, and short, curly gray hair. Wiping her hands
on her apron, she simpered, "Frankie, I just finished baking chocolate chip
cookies - your favorite!"
"Mother!" whined Sloth. "Can't you see I'm busy??"
Mrs. Sloth glanced around and her eyes fell on
Wintria. "Oh, why, hello there!" she smiled pleasantly. "What's your name?"
"Hi, Mrs. Sloth, I'm Wintria," the Uni grinned.
"Well, nice to meet you, Wintria," gushed the
woman, beaming. "It's so nice when Frankie-kins has friends over to play pretend
with! Can I get you two or Frankie's Grundos anything? Cookies? Some juice?"
"No thank you, Mother," prompted Sloth. "Do you
mind? I'm busy."
"All right, I'll leave you alone. It was nice
meeting you, Wintria," called Mrs. Sloth as she left. As soon as the door was
closed, Wintria burst into laughter and said, "She seems nice."
"It's not funny!" said Sloth defensively. "If
she ever finds out it's not pretend, she'll take away my teddy- uh, I mean,
my spaceship."
Quite relieved that there would be no more interruptions,
Sloth tried again.
"MUAHAHAHAHA!"
But alas, once again they were interrupted. The
door was opened once more and the Space Faerie and Wintria's family came pouring
in.
"I think you've done enough, Frankie," said the
Space Faerie coolly.
"Aww, you never let me have any fun, Sara!" complained
Sloth. Apparently, the Space Faerie's name was Sara. "Ever since I tried to
steal everyone's cookies in kindergarten, you've always ruined my plans!"
"And I'm not going to stop today," said Sara
briskly as she un-strapped Wintria.
"Okay, that's it!" fumed Sloth. "I've had it!
What a rotten week! I'm going to my room to draw diabolical plans with my teddy!"
As Sloth stomped off, Wintria's sister Double
A turned to her. "And you were actually stuck with THAT guy for a day and a
half? How in Neopia did you survive? It must have been SO boring."
"Well," said Wintria as they began to walk to
the hangar that would take them back to Neopia. "Somehow I made it."
The End
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