Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 124,467,804 Issue: 251 | 4th day of Hiding, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Freaky Fishing: What We're REALLY Reeling In

by rebels_last_stand


MARAQUA - We've all been to the Underwater Fishing Cavern. We've watched as our pets cast their lines into the murky water and have seen the disappointment on their faces when they reel in another piece of kelp and the joy when they get an actual fish.

But have we really taken a good look at what we're reeling in on our fishing lines? Have we examined the fish we catch and feed to our pets and the kelp that coats our yards? Well, this reporter has, and is more then a little freaked out by what she's found.

The Water Fish

"How does it even exist?"

I think the name explains itself. The fish is made of water. Imagine: you're swimming along in the waters of Maraqua and you see this pair of floating eyes. You would never know if you were swimming through them either...

I also have a few questions involving vital organs, but I'm not entirely sure I want an answer to those.

The Bread Fish

"Goes great with butterfish."

I have to admire the Bread Fish. All of that time in the water, but it never tastes soggy.

Small Giant Squid

"How can a giant squid be small?"

My initial thoughts were along the lines of the description: "How can it be a small giant squid? Isn't that an oxymoron? Well, it shouldn't be any problem." Of course, my pets and I overlooked the fact that it still is a giant squid. Three lost fishing rods, one traumatizing experience, and a four day hospital visit later, here we are, all of us now very respectful of all things squid-like.

Molten Borovan Rod


Well if I can't handle it, how are my pets supposed to use it in the Battledome? How am I even supposed to get it off my line? And how did something molten get all the way down here? Too many questions with no answers...

Golden Meepit Statue

"The award for best Meepit goes to..."

*stares* Shiny... what? Oh, yea, I'm supposed to be focusing... Okay, Meepit Statue: it either means top secret Meepit Civilization in the caves, or there is one seriously mad Meepit wondering who threw his trophy in the water.

Lesser Spotted Fish

"Where's the greater spotted fish?"

I agree with the description. Where's the Greater Spotted Fish? And how much greater is it? Not like Titanic Giant Squid size, right? Right? Hello?

Great, now I have to worry about getting eaten by a giant polka-dotted fish. And people keep trying to tell me how relaxing fishing is...


"Oh... joy... fish."

It's... uh... bland? *mutters to editors* Well how am I supposed to come up with something interesting for a Blandfish. It's a Blandfish. You're not giving me much to work with...

Mossy Rock

"Wow! A mossy rock!... Wow!!"

Admittedly, it doesn't come off as very impressive, but I am curious as how it managed to get hooked on my line. It's a rock: it can bite my line, or catch on the hook, so how does it... you know... *makes lots of random hand gestures to try and convey point*... Yes, yes, everyone laugh at the crazy girl who's confused by rocks...

Titanic Giant Squid

"Um... run?"

Uh... I'm pretty sure we all know where I stand on squids. *backs away slowly*

Rotting Driftwood

"Why is there so much of this floating around underwater?"

Driftwood itself isn't that strange. But when the last time you saw a tree or anything else wood could have come off of in Maraqua? They tend to stick to kelp in the underwater landscaping, so where does the wood come from? Skyler's trying to convince me that there's a magical world of wood somewhere in the caves, where little wood people frolic and play with their little wood pets. He's rather adamant about this theory, but I think he just wanted me to mention his name in the Neopian Times.


"Eating this can cause... unpleasant side effects."

Well, if you aren't already staying away from it (It is called a Doomfish, people) I'm not sure I can really help you. But I do wish you the best of luck with apocalyptic battle with the evil fish...

Fish Scale Breastplate

"It protects well, but ugh, the stench."

I wonder if it's really worth using. Yeah, I'm sure it DOES protect well, but your pet would probably be mocked so badly due to the stench, your Battledome victory won't be nearly as sweet.


"It just keeps going, forever and ever and ever..."

I'm sorry; my mind has imploded from the sheer magnitude of it. *twiddles thumbs*

Bag of Broken Neopoints

"If only there was someway to repair these broken Neopoints."

I'm just curious on how you can break Neopoints. To see if it is indeed possible, my pets and I took a bag of Neopoints and proceeded to beat the tar out of them. And it wasn't until we brought in a giant laser did any of them break. (Actually, they pretty much disintegrated, but you get my point) So someone really wanted to break those Neopoints before they chucked them in the sea.

Giant Green Kelp

"Pretty, but too tough to chew."

This might actually be normal, I mean we are underwater. And that's normally where you find kelp... But there has to be SOMETHING wrong with it!!! AHHHH!!!!

Obelisk of Doom

"No one knows what kind of doom this obelisk will bring, but it's got Hubrid on it, so it will be a nasty kind of doom."

As opposed to the other kind of doom? How many kinds of doom are there? Is there a happy doom? Like with frolicking Petpets of Death or something. "Oh, they want to kill us, but they're just so darn cute."

Rusty Old Can

"Oh, this is useful."

Move over, unlabeled tin can! The rusty old can is here to stay!

Well, there you have it. I would think these possible catches are reason enough to stay away from the Underwater Fishing Cavern, but I know most all of us will go back tomorrow. There's something addicting about that cave... Oooh, I sense another article...

Anyway, I hope this article will help you take precautions to stay safe and squid-free while fishing. Or you could just use it as stuffing in your petpet bed. Whichever works best for you.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Pages of a Lost Past: Part Seven
I positioned myself against the pillow and slowly opened the journal to the last entry I had read. Kachie curled up on my stomach so she could read along with me...

by sibertiger9


The Art of Pet Pages
Pet pages. We all have 'em. But do we all use them? I'm sorry to say the answer's no.

by lightningsock


Why so bummed?

by 5tnt


Why is there so much dung in Neopia, eh?
Mommy, what's that Meepit made out of?

Also by swedish

by voodoodollee

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.