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Confessions of a Neverending Boss Battle Champ

by darkerstrife


SPACE STATION - You all know Dr. Frank Sloth; the infamous villain who has attempted to conquer our planet more times than anybody can count. He has devised countless strategies against the peace-loving inhabitants of Neopia, and so far, none have succeeded. But after many hours of research and Sloth Day Burger consumption, it seems that the diabolical doctor has finally formulated the perfect plan...

After becoming rich from invasion taxes, Dr. Sloth has decided to go ahead and build himself a glorious battlecruiser. It's got everything that an evil green genius could want: double laser cannons, rotating turrets, missile launchers, hand mirrors at every terminal, and of course, lots of big shiny red buttons. It's enough to make any intergalactic tyrant green with envy! And now, old Slothy is going to use his gigantic new toy to conquer planet Neopia. But before he can do that, there's just one little thing standing in his way... you.

On a seemingly typical day, you are wandering around deep space in your colourful fighter ship. Don't ask why; you just are. Suddenly, Sloth decides to pay a visit, and he's got his eyes set on Neopia's shiny surface. The thought of returning to a planet called Slothopia horrifies you, so what do you do? Cower before his might.

"Say it right!"

Erm, I mean, try to stop him!

Therefore, it is your mission to distract Dr. Sloth and give Neopia enough time to prepare for his eventual attack. Personally, I wouldn't mind a change of pace when it comes to planetary dictators...


But of course, this is about fighting Sloth, not helping him. Do try to ignore Ms. Sparklepants over here.

"Excuse me?"

Pardon me... Ms. 'Space Faerie'.

Anyway, your craft is armed with a basic bullet cannon, and unfortunately, it is not powerful enough to cause any damage. Sloth's ship is constructed of the finest alloy in the galaxy, and it is virtually indestructible... But that won't stop you from covering it with dents and stains, now will it? ;)

To play Neverending Boss Battle, use the Up arrow key to move your ship forward, and the Down arrow key to move backwards. Turn using the Left and Right arrow keys, and use the Z and C keys to strafe left and right. You can fire your weapon with the space bar or the X key.

Every time you successfully hit Dr. Sloth's battlecruiser, you will gain points. But watch out. Sloth has a wide variety of weapons that he can use against you. His battlecruiser can (and will) perform the following attacks:

  • If your ship is sitting in front of Sloth, he will try to shoot you down with his yellow laser cannons. To avoid this, move your ship behind Sloth. Keep moving, though; Sloth's ship will always rotate towards you.
  • In addition, Sloth may fire an intense red laser beam if you're sitting directly in front of the ship. When you see it charging up, fly away quickly before you're vaporized.
  • There are several small turrets on Sloth's ship that will constantly fire blue bullets. Most of them move pretty slowly, so if you are careful, you should be able to steer around them.
  • Occasionally, Sloth will create two red rockets that will follow your ship. These rockets are probably your biggest threat; avoid them at all costs. The rockets will disappear after a moment, so if you tuck your ship into one of the corners of the screen, you should be safe from them (but don't stay there!).
  • And last, but not least, there is a giant turret located in the center of the Battlecruiser. Stand too close to Sloth's ship and this turret will start to glow and unleash a huge "death ray". When it does, get out of the way!

You begin the game with 3 lives, and your ship can only withstand 5 hits from Sloth's attacks. When your armor reaches 0%, KABOOM!

However, things aren't entirely hopeless. Powerups will frequently appear on the screen to help you fight the good fight. Run over them with your ship, and they will reward you with points and a special upgrade. All powerups will only last for a limited time.

  • Shield (Blue Ring) - This powerup will give you a shield. While this shield is active, your ship is invincible to attack. This powerup is extremely useful, and I would recommend grabbing it as soon as possible.
  • Fast Bullets (Lightning Bolt) - This powerup increases the number of bullets that can be on the screen at once. In my opinion, this isn't as handy as the other powerups (unless you have a slow computer).
  • Rebound Bullets (Rocket) - When you collect this powerup, your bullets will bounce off the sides of the screen until they hit Sloth's ship. This is a handy powerup, because you don't have to concentrate on rotating your ship towards Sloth in order to hit him. Just let the bullets bounce around while you concentrate on dodging Sloth's attacks.
  • Speed Boost (Blue Capsule) - This powerup increases the speed of your ship. This can come in handy when you are trying to run away from Sloth's rockets.
  • Warp (Green Blob Thing) - This powerup is similar to the shield, in the sense that your ship is invincible while it is active. However, there's one catch; when your ship is hit, you will teleport to a random location on the screen.
  • Split Fire (Green "T") - This powerup allows your ship to fire 2 bullets at once, which makes it much easier to earn points by attacking Sloth's ship.

Keep in mind that only ONE powerup can be active at a time. So if you have a shield and you collect a Split Fire, you will lose your shield.

There are a few more tips I can give you to help you fight the Doctor. Generally, try to stay behind him. His laser cannons can be difficult to avoid, so never give him the chance to use them. When you're directly behind Sloth, rotate towards him and keep shooting. Strafe if necessary to avoid any bullets he might throw at you. When he launches those annoying red rockets, stop what you are doing and fly into one of the corners of the screen until the rockets disappear. And, overall, try not to be too aggressive; achieving a high score takes lots of time and patience.

Well, that's the end of my guide to Neverending Boss Battle. Hopefully I've taught you a few things about attacking Battlecruisers with extremely tiny fighter ships. Good luck; Neopia is depending on you.

"Good. Was that so hard?"

I suppose not. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to rinse my mouth out before I return to headquarters. The Master won't be happy about my confessions...

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