The Meerca Brothers: Inside Story

You probably know all this, but for the benefit of all the new neopets players watching, I’ll explain to you where these mischievous Meercas came from. Actually, I don’t know where they came from, so I guess I’ll just tell you when I (and everybody else) first heard about them. It was way back in Neopia’s history during the discovery of the Lost Desert. They were the creepy little neopets that stole the king’s crown under the direction of Malkus Vile.

Well, look at that. It looks like they’ve been thwarted again. You see, they’ve been trying to steal a bunch of golden statues stored in the Qasalan Royal Treasury, but they keep coming to a series of giant walls that have random numbers on them and neopoint values. It’s getting them very mad, because they always know that they have failed every time they see the giant word “Success!”

Heermeedjet: Hey, what are you doing?

Merouladen: Hey! Get away!

Matt: I was just hoping to ask you a few questions… After all, everyone in Neopia wants to know about the greatest thieves of all time! For my first question, I would like to ask Heermeedjet a quick question; why the heck did you sign your name on the note you left at Coltzan’s shrine?

Heermeedjet: I told you we weren’t answering questions, now SCAT!

Merouladen: You know, I’ve been asking him that for a while now, and I’m getting tired of hearing that the Meepit told him to!

Heermeedjet: IT WAS A MEEPIT! He threatened to gnaw my beautiful tail off if I didn’t do it!

Matt: Well, I don’t mean to cause you any trouble, really. I’ll just ask another…

Heermeedjet: You don’t believe me, do you? Why does no one believe me?

Matt: Calm down, calm down. Next question. I think that it’s obvious to us all that you are the greatest thieves to ever walk on the planet of Neopia. How do you feel about not having your place in the Gallery of Evil?

Merouladen: Funny you should ask; we were just talking about that the other day. We’re very angry, because we could beat all of those guys to a pulp in the Battledome. And seriously, the Pant Devil? His job is to steal the pocket change that we drop while we’re running out the door. I heard that he actually stole a pile of dung once, no lie. And that Razul guy is in there, too. All you had to do to defeat him was hit him with a rusty old weapon. We definitely deserve a spot in there, right bro?

Heermeedjet shudders as foam dribbles from his mouth.

Heermeedjet: The Meepits said that they want to be in the gallery of evil too…

Matt: Well… I’ll do what I can. Anyway, how does it feel to be ranked so high in the villain list of the Defenders of Neopia? You’ve got to be pretty hard core to be up there.

Merouladen: My brother and I love it. It’s good to know that at least in the Battledome we are ranked so high. We earned our spot there, taking out countless opponents. The only problem is that it’s cutting majorly into our thievery time. It seems like every minute of the day we encounter some idiot who thinks he can beat us. I think I recall us beating you to a pulp a couple of times, am I right?

    Matt: Yes, well… I’m still training, you see… I’m not ready to fight you, but I was just… you know… sticking my toe in the water.

Merouladen: Ha! When you stuck that little toe in the water, my brother and I grabbed it with our sticky fingers and beat you to the ground!

Matt: What is it with you and sticky fingers? Seriously, that glue you put on me never came off!

Merouladen: That’s the point, my battle-challenged friend! Do you really think we would use washable glue? You decided to fight us, you pay the price.

Matt: How do you feel, working for Malkus Vile?

Merouladen: (turning to Heermeedjet) You know, you’re supposed to be the older one. The Meepits aren’t coming! Relax!

Matt: (impatiently) I said, how do you feel, working for Malkus Vile?

Merouladen: You’re a bit rude, you know.

Matt: Oh, sure. I’m rude, and you’re the one that left the note that said “U smell and u have a spotty bum” at Coltzan’s Shrine.

Merouladen: Fine, fine. Working for Malkus Vile is probably the greatest thing that ever happened to my brother and me. We get so many jobs; it’s hard to find a place to spend all the neopoints.

Matt: Did you notice that in the Gallery of Evil, it says Malkus Vile “prefers to get more gullible Neopets to do his dirty work?”

Heermeedjet: No, no. Malkus would never say that. It was the Meepits, they made him. They love to play with our minds… it’s sickening.

Matt: Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better. Now you can tell me what your secret is to stealing so quietly and discreetly… that is, when the Meepits don’t tell you to leave clues.

Heermeedjet: Well, you see, it’s really just about avoiding the Meepits. If the Meepits don’t know that you’re robbing a bank or stealing something, you’re home free. They’re the ones that set off the alarms and get us into trouble. My brother and I have had a strict code ever since the Lost Desert disaster; whenever you see a Meepit, stop immediately. It’s actually become a slogan for us; When Meepits are in your path, run incredibly fast!

Merouladen: Yes, he likes to say that. I try to ignore everything he says, and you should too. Now if you’ll excuse us, I sense a pet waiting to battle us. Steve_Smith is his name.

Matt: No! That’s my pet! Please, no! I told him to stay away from the Battledome! He’s going to get hurt; I need to save him…

Merouladen: Come on, Hermeedjet. I heard that Steve_Smith is a supporter of all Meepit activity in Neopia!

Heermeedjet: LET’S GO! THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO GET THEM! IF WE TAKE OUT ONE OF THEIR KEY SUPPORTERS…

I didn’t hear the rest. I was off to tell my pet that he was about to get beaten by a berserk Meerca. I would also tell him that if I ever found out that he was supporting the Meepits, he would be severely punished. They are out there, and they are a threat to us. Please, control your Meepit, and be careful.