The most fantastic thing in the universe! Circulation: 119,635,638 Issue: 241 | 26th day of Hunting, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

An Interview with Garin

by pipsqueak1263


KRAWK ISLAND - Hi! I'm Salina and I'm here on Krawk Island to interview the very popular Usul Garin. As you know, Garin is a pirate, captain of the Black Pawkeet and, liberator of Maraqua. I've been trying to track Garin for months to find out what makes him tick, or makes him do what he does. Unfortunately I haven't seen hide or hair of him. It's like he just vanished off the face of Neopia. Hopefully he's here today.

Salina: (Walks up to a door and knocks)

A rather handsome looking Usul with raggedy clothes and a puzzled look on his face opens the door.

Garin: "Ahoy thar. Who are ye an' what are ye doin' on me doorstep?"

Salina: "Atrocious grammar you have, don't you?"

Garin: "Yeah, an' you have a big vocabulary too."

Salina: "Right, anyway, I'm from the Neopian Times, and I'm here to interview you."

Garin: "Me?"

Salina: "Yes you."

Garin: "Why me?"

Salina: "First question, where have you been all this time?"

Garin: "Rude little thing, aren't ye."

Salina: "Rude! Oh, just answer the question."

Garin: "Alright. Here there an' everywhere. Been down to Maraqua, wandering aimlessly the ocean, through a few storms on sea… (Rambles on for another 15 minutes).

Salina: "Okay, okay, I get the idea. Next question, what do you think of Isca?"

Garin: "What about her?"

Salina: "Everyone knows she's got a crush on you."

Garin: "They do? She does? Where did you hear a funny thing like that?"

Salina: "Everyone except you."

Garin: "Strange."

Salina: "I think I'm the one supposed to ask the questions. Anyway, next question. Is there anyone you do like?"

Garin: "Well, there was this one pretty little Usul who was a waitress in the Golden Doubloon. Met her again in the Pirate caves. Don't know what she was doin' thar. Strange."

Salina: "You like the word strange, don't you?"

Garin: "Yeah, strange."

Salina: "You mentioned a Usul in the Golden Doubloon. Just out of curiosity, what was her name?"

Garin: "Hannah."

Salina: "You mean the Hannah?"

Garin: "No, I don't know anyone named The."

Salina: *sigh* "Next question, what made you want to become a pirate?"

Garin: "A lot of things. See, when I was young I was poor, so one thing is money. I love money. And the adventure. I love adventure. And the sea. I love the sea too."

Salina: "You seem to love a lot of things."

Garin: "Yeah, strange."

Salina: "New question. Have you ever thought of settling down?"

Garin: "Settling down?"

Salina: "Yeah, you know, get a house, have a family…"

Garin: "No, why?"

Salina: "I know a lot of neopets that would love to have you. Isca, even me."

Garin: "What?!"

Garin and Salina stare at each other awkwardly for a moment.

Salina: "Okay, that was awkward. But really, wouldn't you love to have a family?"

Garin: "It would be neat to have a little me runnin' around."

Salina: "Heaven help us."

Garin: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Salina: "Nothing. What do you think of Captain Scarblade?"

Garin: "Hate 'im, loath 'im, want to kill 'im."

Salina: "Well at least that's an answer. Why do you think he does what he does?"

Garin: "Who?"

Salina: "Captain Scarblade!"

Garin: "He wants to."

Salina: "Is that your final answer?"

Garin: "This isn't 'Who Wants to be a Neomillionaire,' is it? I'd like to be a neomillionaire."

Salina: (slaps her forehead) "Who wouldn't. But really, is that your final answer?"

Garin: "Yes."

Salina: "Alright, since we got through that, how long have you wanted to be a pirate?"

Garin: "Ever since I was real little. I skipped school sometimes to go to Cap'n Threelegs' school."

Salina: "Now we're getting somewhere. When did you get the Black Pawkeet?"

Garin: "At age 13."

Salina: "You started pirating at 13."

Garin: "Yeah but I started going to Cap'n Threelegs' school at 10."

Salina: "You dropped out of school?"

Garin: "Nah. I graduated at 10."

Salina: "Sarcasm, sarcasm."

Garin: "Hey, in me defense, it was a stupid question."

Salina: "Okay, so are you planning to go on a long journey any time soon?"

Garin: "I don't know, maybe. I might go an' see what's on the other side of Neopia, or go look for treasure."

Salina: "Are you really sure you want to do that. The last person who tried to discover the other side of Neopia never came back."

Garin: "Ah, them stories don't scare me."

Salina: "What do you think you will find on the other side?"

Garin: "I don't know. Thar might be natives who want to eat people-"

Salina: "Cannibals?"

Garin: "Yeah, or there might be weird little creatures who bite you an' in 10 seconds you're dead, or bloodthirsty things that suck you dry, or there might be harmless little things that want to just be friends."


Salina: "You got this all planned out, don't you?"

Garin: "Yeah."

More silence.

Salina: "O…K… next question. This kinda goes with the topic, are you afraid of dying."

Garin: "How does this go with the topic?"

Salina: "Just answer the question Garin, just answer the question."

Garin: "Fine. Not really, no."

Salina: "How-"

Garin: "How long is this going to go? You've been here for an hour already."

Salina: "2 or 3 hours actually."

Garin: "Me point exactly."

All of a sudden they hear a clashing of swords and yells.

Garin: (Grabs his sword, jumps up, and starts out to run out the door ) "Free for all!"

Salina: "But what about the interview?"

Garin: "Ah, scrap the interview. Go eat a Koi."

Garin runs out the door into the battle.

Salina: (Leaving) "Well it look like that's our interview for today. My conclusion today is that Garin can't sit still too long. Tune in next time when I interview, as you read, Hannah to get her opinion of Garin! Now I better go before them pirates out there start getting trigger happy."

One of the pirates outside: "Hey look at the little Xweetok! I bet I can hit it!"

A gunshot goes off.


Salina runs to the ferry, trying to dodge the various bullets being shot at her.

If you're reading this, it means I got my first submission in the NT! Yay!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


The Lost King of Geraptiku: Part Three
"Gosh, Zar," thought Donis, "Can you believe I've been here for a whole year?"

by violajunky


Faerie Festival
Luna was a tall, thin faerie, about twelve years old, and possibly the youngest grey faerie in Neopia. She hid in the shadows...

by firecomet14


The Fall of Qasala: Part Four
"Qasala will only ever belong to the King or Queen of the city, and will never bow down to Sakhmet. You can try to destroy it, but be warned: we will fight back..."

by danama


The Mysterious Symol Hole
Let's go over the plan again.

Story by _tsura_

by frayedknot

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.