Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 109,226,905 Issue: 218 | 2nd day of Celebrating, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Grooming the Easy Way

by mygoodguild


Has your Usul every come home with a red face and puffy eyes? Has she ever said: “Mum! My bows got tangled and my hair is matted! I am in serious need of a makeover! Help me! The world as we know it is almost over! I come to you in my time of need.”

I knew it. And then what was your reply? Something along the lines of: “Sally Usul, don’t fret! Just go to sleep. When you wake up tomorrow, it will be all better. All of your troubles will just poof away to Faerieland! So go get your beauty sleep and have sweet dreams, sweet pea!”

If this is true, sadly... You must be living in a fantasy. Troubles just don’t poof away. They must be solved. Eradicated. They must be dealt with. Kaput! So this is why I have brought you this fabulous guide: Grooming the Easy Way.

Hair Troubles

Is that Usul of yours complaining of her tangled, greasy tresses? Is she saying her dainty golden locks are always getting in her delicate little eyes? Well, I have just the solution.

Step 1: Washing. I recommend Super Shiny Shampoo, but if this cannot be afforded, normal shampoo is fine. Scrub at the roots all over hair and rinse. Then get your conditioner. Lather up it up, put it in your Usul’s hair, and wait two minutes. Then rinse. If you do not want to have buy shampoo AND conditioner, then I suggest the Two in One Hair Care. After your Usul, or whatever pet, is done washing, let her hair dry naturally.

Step 2: Styling. After the hair is ALMOST completely dried, take a hair brush. I approve of the long hair brushes over the short ones. You may get any color you like. Brush the hair. That shouldn’t be too hard. But now is the fun part! Style it. Get your Hair-Gel and your Hairspray and get ready to make a unique, cool look – something you’ll honestly enjoy walking around looking like all day!

Step 3: Show it off! Your hair is done. Look at it in your beautiful Star Compact Mirror! Or whatever mirror you happen to have lying around the neohome... Like your ‘do? Glad to hear it! Now to go to neoschool, the job employment agency, your guild, or wherever. Watch and smirk as people gape at your beauty... Hehe.

If you’re still having a little trouble with hairstyling, or your Usul is, or you just want her to do her own hair so you won’t have to do it, there are many useful remedies to bad hairstyling. I recommend you buy one of the following toys for a pet that is just learning how to groom herself: Magical Hair Usuki, or any of the Usuki hair sets. There are many, including: Funky Diva Usuki Hair Set and Beautiful Bunches Usuki Hair Set. Let’s just hope they aren’t too costly!

This article still isn’t helping? Because your pet isn’t having hair problems? Well then, let’s hit the makeup!

Makeup Troubles

Chipped nail polish... Your Usul doesn’t exactly smell like flowers... Her face isn’t radiant enough, or at least she thinks so... Do these complaints sound familiar to you? Well get them out of your way! Because this section is going to help discard every one of those lines instantly.

Step 1: Nail varnish. This includes red, purple, black, blue, and daisy. Plus anything else you might just happen upon.

Step 2: Blush. Pink, tan, and the works! Make your Usul’s skin a beautiful glowing color and she won’t complain any longer! She’ll only remember how radiant her face is... Don’t let it go to her head, though.

Step 3: Eye shadow. Blue, tan, gold... They look shimmery on your eyes and it’s quick and easy grooming. All the work you put into your eyes only takes two minutes. But it looks like it took an hour!

Step 4: Lipstick. There are a lot of colors of lipstick. Red, black, you name it. Make your lips anything but their natural color, whether that be purple, tan, pink, or lime!

You’re sure to receive positive comments on your makeup. Remember to practice with it the day before you actually go out in public! That’ll help. Also, if you mess up, don’t worry. Just wet an old shirt you don’t need anymore and wipe off the excess or messed up cosmetics!

Blah blah blah, you’re saying. Sure, your pets like to be pretty. But he/she also likes to FEEL pretty and groomed. There’s a big difference. If your pet wants to improve the way he/she feels, then this upcoming section is for you!

Hygiene Troubles

Step 1: Washing. Make sure your pet washes off! The water hose or the tub, anywhere is better than nothing. Don’t forget the hair and behind the ears!

Step 2: Brushing. Brush your hair, we already talked about that. But also you need to brush your teeth and take care of them! Here, let’s review all about teeth:

Teeth: You need a toothbrush. A yellow, plain one will do fine. Grab some peppermint toothpaste and begin brushing! Make sure you get your back teeth, top, and bottom. Don’t forget any of them, this is vital. Secondly, you’re going to need to use some mouthwash. Something as simple as green mouth wash will be fine. After you do that, the last thing is: Floss! Buy some plain old dental floss and get in between those hard to reach teeth. Make sure do brush your teeth at least three times a day, mouth wash at least twice, and floss once.

Step 3: This and that. The last things your pet can do is use some lotion, get some extra sleep at nights, study hard in neoschool (but not TOO hard), eat nutritious meals, and most of all, REMEMBER...

Every pet is beautiful the way they were born. EVERY pet. You don’t need makeup or a pretty hairstyle to think you look nice, because you already DO. Every pet, boy or girl, Usul or Hissi, has their own talents and their own inner beauties. Remember that.

The End (of this article, silly).

Disclaimer: I am in no way saying you must buy all of the listed items, or even do your pet’s hair/makeup! That’s your own decision. So don’t blame me. This disclaimer is over. *beeeep*

Author’s Note: Keeping your pet looking nice and feeling nice is important to them, didn’t you know? Hope you liked this article. Feedback appreciate. =)

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Pinkprincess Learns a Lesson
I mean, what kind of name is "Pinkprincess?" My name was a disgrace to all mutant Hissies!

by mycatdog


Guilds - Which One is Right for You?
This guide is meant to help newcomers and oldtimers alike in better evaluating their options and provide a somewhat deeper understanding of the more desirable features that make up a great guild.

by tyleraapje


Kayla, the owner, smiled. "Don't be afraid, Raine. Rain isn't something bad. People say that it is refreshing and sweet..."

by shadowcristal


Hubrid's Attempted Hero Heist: Part Two
"You're Fluffy?!" an older, female voice screeched. "What were you thinking, Sally!"

Also by schefflera

by ikkin_with_attitude

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.