Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 194,397,092 Issue: 764 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y19
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The Eyes

What direction?

by janderson_lee
Lame Pun: New Sweater

One Size Fits All

by blackaavar
Out of This World Romance

No. I'm just green.

Also by chantili_doce

by hopeandjoy

Sloth Day - A Pun So Evil

It's almost unthinkable...

by eenlee
Fishing Tales

Answering the #1 question of the reason we have so much junk in our Safety Deposit Boxes!

by x_mystichorse_x
Always a basic petpet

That moment when your petpet has a really nice default color...

by arijuka
NeoPaper: Friendly Battledome Match

Next up in the BD, the most exciting sparring match!

by mbredboy31
Agh!

The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity wishes he could be left alone for a couple hours to nap!

by draggi_pi2
Desert Arms

Talk about misleading!

by pafriskus
The Downside of Games: Kass Basher

This game is not environmentally friendly.

Also by o_babypet4me_o

by bittersweet52

Last at the Training School

zzzzzzzzzz

by kazemas
The History of the Neopian Times Slorg

Who knew a slorg would love a crayon so much?

by tokyocathy
What do you want to be when you grow up?

Sometimes, you CAN get what you want.

by truebrony
 
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Headlines


"A Priceless Gem" by winter_pony4
Her bedroom door swung open. Lillille looked up to see an angry Royal Bori looming over her. “... Greetings, Mother.” Lillille murmured. The Queen narrowed her eyes. “Lillille, is it true you snuck out of the castle not too long ago?” she demanded. “Of course not! I've been asleep!” Lillille lied. “Then why are your hooves so dusty and dirty? Our castle is supposed to be spotless!” the Queen retorted. “Ok, so maybe I went out for a late night stroll in the garden. I haven't been sleeping well lately.” “Are you so tired as to forget proper etiquette? You are supposed to wash up after… frolicking in the dirt. Look, you've even soiled your rug and the bed with this awful dust! What kind of Uni even lets herself get so filthy? You are 17, for Fyora's sake, have some pride in yourself! You are going to the bath this instant!” Lillille sighed as she was marched to the bathroom. At least she didn't suspect me going out into town… She sighed. But I can't l can't live my life in fear of talking to people! Mother wants me to take the throne someday, but how can I rule over a town if I'm forbidden from getting to know anyone? She looked back, where Crystalluxe was watching Lillille in confusion from her bedroom door. Maybe it's time…




Other Stories


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ALL HAIL SLOTH
“SLOTH! SLOTH! SLOTH!” the deformed Grundos chanted. “As you can see.. The Space Faerie can no longer protect Neopia as she is a little under the weather. So from now on I am the ruler of the Neopian universe,” Sloth said. Without any further word he dropped the mic and walked out.

Also by pikachewz

by grimmbones7


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Usuki Singing Stars #37: Like, Totally Goth
\Scary turned to stare at Gerald. The Aisha was wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans, blacks and white sneakers, and a red beanie. He looked depressed and (totally) boring, too. “You honestly think I can relate to that freak?” Scary gasped. “How in Neopia can I befriend something who wears black eye shadow??”

by downrightdude

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Eleven Signs of Neopian Times Addiction
From the peaks of Terror Mountain to the jungles of Mystery Island, each week Neopians everywhere rush to get their copy so they can read insightful articles, enjoy sidesplitting comics, get lost in beautifully written short stories, and stay informed with questions in the latest editorial. These are Neopian Times fanatics, and that’s why we’re here today!

Also by drobit

by bha288


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So You Lost it All On the Wheel of Extravagance
All you wanted was some exotic fruits or bread to spice up dinner; one minute you’re making a beeline for Qasalan Delights, telling yourself, out loud, over and over, this time he isn’t going to get you - and the very next thing you know, you’re letting go of the side of the wheel, chanting BIG MONEY BIG MONEY as it spins before you, that darn Tonu laughing at your naivete as he greedily counts a bag full of your hard-earned neopoints, more than you should even be carrying in the first place.

by rhosymedre

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Spiral: Part Two
The group ceased any movement. The forest fell silent. Nearby, a glowing caught their focus. Wearing a frilly dress, and a neat bow, slowly, a wispy translucent Kacheek floated into the vicinity, a short distance away…

by waterguardianwmr

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Nonlinear Companions: Dawn: Part Seven
As we approached the Happy Valley exit of the Ice caves, I could see the snow violently swirling round in little concentric circles. The sky had become a deep grey and the few neopets that were outside, were being tossed about like ragdolls in the wind.

Also by ukases

by _starryeyedsurprise_




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