Sophie's Best Stews (& Soups) for Harvest Season

     What’s that? You’re curious as to what I’m brewing? Ha! This isn’t some common potion, my dearie. No curses, no love charms, and certainly no transmogrifications today! *sniffs proudly* This is a delectable stew! You want to help me make it? *Hmph* Well, I suppose that’s a relief. Most Neopians who stumble in here seem to have me confused with that other witch, Edna. As if I’d waste my precious Eye of Mortog on mere magic. All right then, if you insist on hanging about, you can make yourself useful. Toss in that sprig of Tentacle Sprout and mind the bubbles. While you work, I’ll share my greatest passion: the stews and soups of Neopia.

     Now, I know what you’re thinking: Sophie? A chef? Well, when I’m not muttering incantations or hexing door-to-door salespeople, I use this cauldron for something far more important—dinner! The esteemed chef, Jubjub Child, once said, “People who love to eat are always the best people.” Of course, she never met the Esophagor… but the sentiment holds! Even on the coldest swamp nights, nothing soothes the soul like a hearty soup or stew. Tomato and Basil, Lobster Bisque, Corn Chowder—mmm, how I love the classics. But what I love even more is perfecting recipes and adding a distinctly Neopian flair. I’ve spent so many years perfecting my recipes for the best soups and stews in Neopia that some call me the original Barefoot Contessa. While you help me stir the pot, perhaps I’ll share a few secrets from my trusty recipe book.

     Well, what are you waiting for? Grab that Eye of Mortog and let’s begin! If it blinks, it’s still fresh. *cackles*

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     Gummy Rat Stew

     Ah, Almost Gummy Rats—a true delicacy in the Haunted Woods! The perfect treat to hand out to Trick-or-Treaters on Halloween. Their almost, but not quite, gummy texture is pure bliss! My favourite flavour is Strawberry. Luckily, for this recipe, any flavour will do!

     To make this stew, begin by pouring six gallons of swamp water into your cauldron and bring it to a boil. Then, toss in your selection of Almost Gummy Rats—about nine or ten should suffice, though I’ve never been accused of measuring! After a few minutes, their gelatinous exteriors will melt into a thick, sweet, and sticky broth. Perfection!

     Now for the fun part–season to taste with all manner of scary things—worms for salt, bat wings for savoury, and generous handfuls of tombstone crumble for crunch! Best of all, the rat tails won’t dissolve. They’ll stay chewy and offer a pleasant surprise to slurp with every spoonful! *slurp* Delicious!

     Eye of Mortog Soup

     Another Haunted Woods staple is Eye of Mortog Soup. Every year, the Deserted Fairgrounds hosts a Cookoff contest, and my take on this spooky classic has won first prize seven years in a row. Last year, I even got a handshake from celebrity chef and contest judge, Poogle Hollywood—quite the honour! I would have won eight years in a row, mind you, if Edna hadn’t meddled with my calendar in Y19. The old hag tricked me into thinking the Cookoff was a week later! By the time I had arrived, the judges were gone, the cauldrons were cold, and the Deserted Fairgrounds were… well… deserted.

     There is no correct way to brew an Eye of Mortog Soup. For example, you could add Liquified Scorchio Flame if you like your soup spicy. Or you could add a dash of Techo Tail to bring out the umami flavours. Or, you can simply add a hefty amount of garlic; garlic makes everything taste better and helps keep Count Von Roo far away!

     Of course, the most important part is where you source the Mortog Eyes themselves. Edna uses the bottled Eye of Mortog from her dusty old cupboard, whereas I prefer to use Mortog Eyes that are fresh—and still blinking. The Mortogs that croak beside the Esophagor’s swamp will do, but for special occasions, I’ll venture far to the outskirts of Meridell and Brightvale and pay a visit to Bogshot Swamp. Over there, the Mortogs are as plump as King Hagan and King Skarl themselves, and their eyes have the delectable taste of… cheese? I guess that’s what too many errant cheese wheels from the nearby Cheese Roller hill will do!

     Pro Tip: If you like the flavour of Mortog, add the Mortogs into your brew whole. You’ll have yourself a hearty Mortog Stew!

     Feel Better Soup

     When you're sick, down, or depressed, there’s nothing more comforting than a fresh bowl of Feel Better Soup.

     I actually learned the recipe for this soothing soup from Reina, after paying a visit to the Happy Valley a few years ago. I went to claim my Advent Calendar prize when, suddenly, a snowstorm trapped me inside the Ski Lodge. Thankfully, Reina whipped up a hearty batch of this delicious soup to help warm us up while we waited for the storm to subside. The recipe was quite simple, just two large chicken breasts, three large carrots, and a stalk of celery. But let me tell you, it really hits the spot on a cold winter’s day.

     However, as we sat, enjoying our bowls of soup, a horde of enraged Snicklebeasts came knocking at the door. In haste, I cast a protective charm, but I accidentally misdirected it towards the large pot of boiling soup! Luckily, a ‘happy accident’ occurred, and the soup became infused with my protective charm! Now, the Feel Better Soup serves as one of the best protectors and healers in the Battledome. I use it every time I take on my least favourite Zafara, Edna, in the Rattling Cauldron arena!

     Esophagor Bowl of Slimy Stew

     When I think of the Esophagor, two things come to mind: his unquenchable appetite and his eponymous ‘Bowl of Slimy Stew.’ Yes, you heard me right—Neopia’s hungriest swamp ghoul has his very own brand of stew. It’s every bit as revolting and delicious as you’d expect!

     As I mentioned in my ‘Gummy Rat Stew’ recipe above, swamp water makes an excellent base for soups, stews, and broths. That said, the swamp water from the Esophagor’s own bog possesses a unique and pungent flavour. Perhaps it’s because it’s long been steeped in the Esophagor’s ghastly essence. Or perhaps it comes from all of the unsuspecting Neopets, Petpets, and Spooky Foods that he’s devoured over the years… Who’s to say!

     When I prepare a bowl of Esophagor Slimy Stew, I start by fetching a few quarts of water from his swamp—carefully, of course! Then, I let it reduce over a slow boil for several hours (or days, if you’ve got patience and a strong enough nose!) When it’s finally ready, you’ll have a thick, glistening reduction that’s sinisterly smooth on the palate! Of course, if you’re ever served a bowl of this piping hot brew, eat it quickly… before it eats you! Come to think of it, no wonder the Esophagor is always hungry.

     Best of all, when you’re done, you’ll be left with a collectable bowl shaped like the Esophagor himself–a perfect keepsake for your next dinner party!

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     *hisss* Oh, Fyora! The pot’s boiling over again! Did you not keep stirring as I asked?

     *slurp* Actually, that Eye of Mortog Soup is… perfection! Here, since you helped, why don’t you have a taste? Go ahead, drink up! *cackles* Ahh, yes, that’s it! Now I have just the perfect ingredient for my signature creation–Sophie’s Stew!

     …Ha! I’m only joking! I’d never give my signature recipe away to any soul, alive, dead, or in between. Now, please begone, before I change my mind and toss you in for added seasoning!