Surviving the Lost Desert: Fauna!

     Let’s ease in with some of the less scary critters you might run across. First up: it’s the Scamander! These shy, lizard-like creatures are absolutely more scared of you than you are of them, and usually will dart off the moment you get too close. Unless of course it’s swarming season, and then it’s like the ground itself is wriggling beneath your feet, fun!

     Still, for all their squishi-ness and squirrely-ness, Scamanders are surprisingly useful. If you’ve been out camping and caught a bad case of the Bubbles, you might be shocked to learn that a Scamander could come to your rescue! If you grind one down and reduce it to syrup, you can chase away those hiccups! Gross? Absolutely. But effective? You betcha.

     Or, if you’ve slept all funny and got yourself a Cricky Neck, you can catch one and rub a little of their slime on your stiff neck to ease the ache. I learned this trick from a merchant I met once swore by Scamander slime to soothe his aching back. “It smells like rotten eggs and feels like regret,” he said, “but it works.” I’ll let you decide whether that’s a glowing recommendation or not.

     As far as I know, Scamanders aren’t particularly known to be a yummy thing to catch for food, but another scuttle-y lizard you may find out there certainly is! The Suwek is another lizard species that is found out there, and they are soooo good fried and eaten with some Sutek Beans! They’re considered a delicacy out in the desert, so pick one up at the market or try it yourself at your campfire!

     Of course, where there’s sand, there’s going to be bugs, lots and lots of them with a surprising amount of variety. Another skittish little fellow you might meet is the Selket — a beetle with a knack for vanishing underground faster than you can blink. These critters aren’t dangerous, but they are treasured by the locals. Their shells get crafted into beautiful castanets, jewellery, and decorations, and their elixir is well-known for settling… digestive situations. If you’ve eaten anything from a market stall that was a little too adventurous, you can grind up a Selket to ease that bloaty belly.

     While Selkets aren’t the best for eating, their distant cousins certainly are! Out here you’ll find plenty of yellow and purple Kersla Bugs, which are absolutely delicious when skewered and roasted over a campfire with just a sprinkle of pepper. Or, if you’re okay with looking under some rocks or logs, you might just find some delightful green Patrapiller grubs, which are surprisingly tasty with just a bit of honey. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, and make sure to slurp it like you mean it.

     Next up: let’s talk about my absolute favourite snack — I mean, creature — in the Lost Desert: the Grackle Bug! Ugly? Definitely. Delicious? Absolutely. These sand lobster lookalikes are the desert’s most versatile treat. Fried, stewed, dried, brewed — I’ve eaten them every way imaginable. Make sure to hit up the markets and get a batter-fried one if you can, they’re so addictive and not a bad snack to load up before a long hike.

     On the practical side, if you’re lucky enough to catch one in the wild, you’re set for the day. The meat can be dried into jerky, and the insides can be slurped out for a high-protein snack on the go. It’s not glamorous, but neither is survival.

     Now, let’s move on to something a bit spookier. Erisims are slithery, snake-like creatures, often found gathering in eerie little packs that make unsettling cackling noises through the night. You haven’t really experienced the desert until you’ve been sitting at your campfire and heard a chorus of Erisim laughter drifting in from somewhere in the darkness.

     They’re usually more bark than bite — unless cornered of course, which I absolutely do not recommend testing. If you do find yourself tangled up with them and manage to make it out alive, don’t be too quick to toss aside their remains. Erisim Unguent is prized for its healing properties, so in a pinch you can use a ground up Erisim carcass to soothe scrapes, bruises, and even burns. It’s the kind of desert folk remedy you’ll learn to appreciate after your first tumble down a sand dune.

     Of course, no guide to Lost Desert fauna would be complete without mentioning the infamous Cobrall. These snake-like Petpets are territorial, aggressive, and come with a very distinctive scent. If you ever catch a whiff of something sweet, musky, with a hint of vanilla while out walking… Well, congratulations! You’ve probably wandered too close to a Cobrall nest.

     Cobralls are no joke. They’ll strike without warning if you spook them, and they’re fast with a startling thirty foot range that it can spit at. But even these fierce serpents have a weakness, and travellers are always startled to find that it’s music! It’s not about how well you play, it’s about how you sway. If you’ve got a steady rhythm and a confident hand, you can entrance even the crankiest of Cobralls into a harmless, bobbing dance. You’ve just gotta channel your inner Jub Zambra and you can probably make it out in one piece.

     That’s all from me! Stay sharp, stay respectful of the wildlife, and remember — out here, sometimes the weirdest solution may be the right one. See you next time as we head to cooler climates and explore the spooky and twisty flora of the Haunted Woods! Until then, happy travels — and remember, nothing separates a great trip from a disastrous one like proper preparation.