The Neo-Market Report

by stereolab

Once again it's time to welcome the Neopian Times' resident Financial Experts. Here with all the latest from the world business, as well as a special visit from The Shoyru Company's Lou Poggleman, are Neil Kauvuto and Maria Blumaroono…

KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to the Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto and, as always, I am joined by my lovely co-host Maria Blumaroono…

BLUMAROONO: Thank you, Neil. First up let's take a look at this week's headlines. The week's biggest story would have to be the sudden slowdown of the Neodaq. After vaulting to 1300, market analysts foresaw a bright future ahead for the index. However, the Bull Run quickly turned Bearish, and the Neodaq has failed to go any higher than it was a week ago. In spite of this downturn, there have still been a few strong performers who managed to soldier on in the face of the downturn. Winners on the big board this week included Cybun Electromatics and Kacheek Talcum, who seem to do well under any circumstances, and The Shoyru Company, whose stock jumped four percent on Buzzboard's announcement that the new 98 Degrundos album debuted at number two on the album charts.

KAUVUTO: As could be expected, the Neodaq's stagnation this week was mirrored by rough times for a number of Wocky Street's most prestigious blue-chippers. Among those who took the biggest hits were Kau Kau Farm, Skeith Feeding Limited, and The Neopian Bank, whose woes continue since the hike in interest rates nearly a month ago.

BLUMAROONO: This week the Neo-Market Report has a very special guest. We are lucky enough to be joined by teen-pop svengali Lou Poogleman. Lou is best known as the founder of The Shoyru Company, which we mentioned earlier as one of this week's big winners. The Shoyru Company, as many of you know, is home to such adolescent pop sensations as N'Skeith, Bunny Spears, 98 Degrundos, and Christina Acaraguilera. Today Lou is here to discuss his latest discovery, the stars of Channel One's "Joining the Group," pop heartthrobs Ne-O-Town. Again Lou, thanks for joining us…

LOU: Oh sure, Maria. Anytime…by the way, while I've got you guys here, I was thinking about picking up some shares of Techrobatics. Whaddya guys think?

KAUVUTO: Umm, you see Lou…you're kind of putting us on the spot there…I mean, I'd have to sit down and look the data over…

BLUMAROO: Yeah, you know Lou you've really got to look this stuff over before you go throwing your money around on a whim…

LOU: I see...well if you guys can't gimme any stock tips then how about we get around to plugging my band, Ne-O-Town…

KAUVUTO: Okay, now that you mention it, Lou...What do you think has caused the teen market to explode like it has in recent years, and what do you think that means for other traditionally teen-oriented markets such as the fashion industry?

LOU: You see guys, I'm not one of these philosophizing types who's always tryin' to figure out what stuff means. All I know is, you take a couple of cute young pets, dress 'em up all pretty in some tight outfits, and get 'em to sing on top of some cheesy, generic synth-pop riff and "Voila!" you've got enough Neopoints to last you a week at the Dice-A-Roo table. It's quite easy really, and that's how I like it. Nice and simple…

BLUMAROONO: Now, a while back one of the members of Ne-O-Town ended up leaving the group. Would you care to comment about that situation for some of those who aren't familiar with the story?

LOU: Aw gee, Maria…why'd you have to go and bring that up? Look, all I'll say is this: Ikauka, the young pet you're talkin' about, well, he just got a little homesick and he missed his family, that's all. And that's perfectly understandable. For the record I'd like to say that Ikauka was a great guy and I wish him the best. But he's been through a lot with all the attention and I really wish that you hadn't brought it up…

KAUVUTO: Fair enough…So tell us Lou, with the recent discovery of Maraqua, have you spotted any talented young groups that we might be hearing more from in the near future?

LOU: Actually, now that you mention it we've got some kids we just signed to a deal the other day. They're called the Backstreet Kois, and buddy let me tell you, they are gonna be HUGE! They've got all the moves and get this…they even do their own singing! Can you imagine that?

BLUMAROONO: So most of your groups don't do their own singing?

LOU: I didn't say that! Did I say that? Of course…uh… some of our…aw, c'mon guys, what's with the Mynci Wallace treatment! I sit in with you guys and this is how you treat me? See if I ever give you an exclusive ever again…

KAUVUTO: Well, that's going to have to do it for this week. For Maria Blumaroono, this is Neil Kauvuto saying, thank you, and good night.