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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 21st day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 17 > Neomarket Report

The Neo-Market Report

Once again, it’s time to visit Neopia’s foremost financial analysts. Joining Neil and Maria this week will be Lorne Fogleton of Buzz-A-Way Insect Removal, who’ll be here to talk about the importance of having your NeoHome sprayed for pests. And now, here are our hosts…

KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I’m proud to introduce my co-host, former Portfolio Manager of the Eyrie High Flyer Fund, the one and only Maria Blumaroono, who joins us from the News Desk with the latest headlines from the floor of the exchange. Maria…

BLUMAROONO: Thanks Neil, and a big thanks to all the stockholders out there in Neopian who stuck it out through last week’s crash. All Neopians will be more than happy that they held on to their shares as the Neodaq is slowing creeping back up to where we in financial land like to call “profitable island”. That’s a place where we’d all like to take our Neopoints and retire. Leading the way this week were Skeith Bodyguards and Korbat Cricket Supplies. Both companies climbed well over thirty points, leading their investors straight to the bank and possibly to a nice beach front property on profitable island.

KAUVUTO: Ah, the Neopian dream. Don’t get caught up in it or you will surely sink on your way there. Take for instance the Neopian Bank, who was the biggest loser this week, falling twenty-seven points, and forty-three within the last three weeks. So there goes my theory about the bank interest you earn divided by the NP earned from playing games multiplied by the amount in your shop till subtracted by the amount earned in the stock market and how that could crash the market. It’s confusing, I know. Let me get back on track, which is what Hakaheke Island Flights needs to do. Most Neopians go to the islands for the month of Celebrating. Guess not this year--the company is down twenty-three points, and seventy-one points in the last three weeks. Not a good start for the holiday season.

BLUMAROONO: No, not all. But there is one company that’s been doing quite a bit of business lately: Buzz-A-Way Insect Removal, whose founder and President, Lorne Fogleton, has been nice enough to stop by today. Lorne, thanks for joining us…

LORNE: I’m really glad to be here. Thanks for having me.

BLUMAROONO: Now, my guess is that a lot of folks don’t realise the value of having their home sprayed for pests. For their sake, could you explain the service that your company provides?

LORNE: Well Maria, when you consider the millions of NPs that Neopians spend on their NeoHomes each year, it seems like such a shame that so few of them would bother to protect that investment by spraying for pests. For just a few hundred NPs, one of our staff’s trained experts will come over and inspect every square inch of your NeoHome, to determine what damage, if any, has been done. Then, they’ll use our special “Spray Away” brand formulas to make sure that those pesky pests go away and STAY AWAY!

KAUVUTO: Lorne, what about those Neopians who say, “I’ve never had any sort of problem with bugs and critters. My home doesn’t need to be sprayed.” What would you say to them?

LORNE: Neil, I would say that many of our customers don’t bother to contact us until the damage has already been done. By that point, I often tell them, “You don’t need an exterminator, you need a carpenter!” You see, because by then, they’ve had pests chewing up their walls, floors, and even furniture—for months. So even if we do get rid of those rodents, it still doesn’t change the fact that they’re living in a half chewed-up house.

If there’s one message that I’d like to get across, it’s this: If you’re calling us to get rid of the bugs that you already have, then most likely it’s already too late. On the contrary, if you’re smart you’ll be calling us to keep away the bugs that you don’t have. It’s ten times easier (and cheaper) to not get bugs in the first place, then it is to get rid of them once you’ve got them.

BLUMAROONO: Well, that’s all the time that we have today. For Lorne Fogleton and Neil Kauvuto, this is Maria Blumaroono saying thank you and so long….

Check out previous Neomarket Reports:
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