I Love Evil! by dirhevardren |  |
Untitled Document
HAUNTED WOODS - I know there's a lot of Pant Devil, Ghost Lupe, and Lava Ghoul
haters out there who would love to see all Neopia's evil wiped off the face of
the earth. We've all got horror stories ('And then he popped up and stole my Faerie
Paintbrush! Boo-hoo!'), we've all been beaten in the Battledome a couple times,
and we've all exchanged angry messages with people on the opposite sides of the
recent war.
But should we really just 'wipe away' all the evil in Neopia? No! It couldn't
be done--and it shouldn't be done! Without the Pant Devil, the Ghost Lupe, and
Meuka, what will be the purpose of the Defenders of Neopia? Without Jhudora and
the other Dark Faeries, who will give you cool weapons and that neat Shroud Ability
you've been wanting for a while? Not to mention that Fyora and the other Faeries
won't have anyone to look down on and feel superior to anymore. Without Dr. Sloth
and Lord Darigan, where will the wars be? Where will be your chance to get a cool
shield or trophy? Who will all the annoying people (and you KNOW who you are)
complain about and pester? Wait... they do this anyway.
To use myself as an example: I, personally, believe that I'm evil. I pretty much
have to be, don't I? I'm greedy, rude, loud, and sarcastic, I wear a whole lot
of black, and oh yeah, I happen to strongly dislike cute fuzzy petpets. And I
shouldn't even have to mention Baby Paint Brushes. I seriously doubt I'd
ever be wanted on the so-called 'good' side. Plus, I'm not the only person on
Neopets like this! Reason Number One for not wiping out evil--you'd have to kick
out a whole bunch of owners, too. And we evil people can get quite vicious....
What about the Halloween and Mutant pets? Should they be called 'evil' merely
because of what they look like on the outside? Do you really want to tell your
friend, who absolutely loves her Halloween Chia, "Oh yeah, we're wiping out evil.
Say goodbye to Precious_Baby133!" I didn't think so! Mutant and Halloween pets
are often singled out for persecution simply because they look strange and different.
Yes, I know, I'm repeating myself, but this is important. Who's to say that when
push comes to shove, Halloween and mutant pets won't be tossed out with the rest
of the 'evil creatures'?
And here, my friend or non-friend, pick one, we run into the biggest problem of
all: defining evil. If you look at it one way, Lord Darigan is an evil orb thief,
Sloth is an evil pet-mutater who wants to take over the world, and Balthazar is
an evil bounty hunter who cruelly abducts innocent Faeries. This is the common
perspective. But another way of looking at it is: Lord Darigan is trying to save
his country, Sloth is a guy with some unresolved ambition issues who put out all
these cool Transmogrification Potions, and Balthazar is a Lupe trying to make
a profit so that he can retire, buy a nice house, and drive a red sports car.
Hmm. Things seems a little different from this perspective, don't they?
Who can judge what is evil and what it not? How do you measure evil? It's not
exactly mentioned in recipes: "Now stir in one cup of evil and add two eggs."
What is evil to one person may be perfectly ordinary to another. Who gets to point
at someone or something and say, "This is evil, this must go?" Who gets to have
that right? Who can we trust to judge us fairly and be unbiased?
Without our Pant Devils and our Mutant Pets and our Baby-Paint Brush-haters, Neopia
would become an insipid, look-how-happy-we-are, and utterly boring world. Evil
adds spice to life! (Hmm, maybe it IS found in recipes) Whether you like it or
not, it's part of everyday Neopia. So kick back, relax, and enjoy the evil! And
if the Pant Devil steals your Baby Paint Brush--thank him for me.
Bwahahahaha!
Author's Note: This article is meant as sarcasm, please do not flame me simply
because you saw the word 'evil.' If there actually is a pet out there named Precious_Baby133,
don't hassle them either. They don't even know I exist. I do dislike Baby Paint
Brushes and Baby Pets, but this is my own personal opinion and I'm not asking
you to agree with it.
This article was brought to you by the Organization for the Ethical Use of
Piles of Dung.
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