And Chaotic_Paradox Makes Three by bluescorchio104 |  |
"Hey, Bluefire." I tried to get the attention of Bluefire104,
my blue Scorchio. "How would you like a little brother companion friend thingy?"
"A brother?!?!" Bluefire nearly fell over with
shock. "Why do you ask that?"
"Well, I thought you might like one."
Bluefire recovered his composure. "Well, you
didn't have to spring it on me like that so suddenly."
"Sorry," I replied sheepishly. My sensible,
logical Neopet was right once again. And once again, I was in the wrong. I hated
it when that happened. "Well, would you actually like a brother?"
Bluefire hmmmed, hummed, and generally made
all the signs of thinking hard. He finally went to his bedroom, where he picked
up a Bendy Yellow Pencil, a notepad, and shut the door. I went into the kitchen,
took a slushie out of the refrigerator, and sat down at the dining table to
think. I slurped anxiously, awaiting his decision. I knew what he was doing.
He was probably making a list of pros and cons. I had taught him that technique
of decision making myself. I just sat there, alternately nervously twiddling
my thumbs (you have no idea how stress-relieving it can be) and taking long
slurps of slushie. After about half-hour or so of this, I was beginning to think
Bluefire had been abducted by aliens, and started to get up from my seat. Bluefire
then calmly walked into the kitchen and uttered a single word.
"Yes"
***
Bluefire and I stood outside the Pet Creation Centre, each of us nervously
waiting for the other to take the first step in. Bluefire finally gathered his
courage and stepped in. We walked up to the receptionist's desk, where we where
greeted by a pink Uni. Immediately I thought, Rose? What in the name of Fyora
is Rose doing here? Oh no, I must be in the adoption centre! I've been on Neopets
for over 20 months and I still didn't know the adoption centre from the creation
centre! I began backing away, but Bluefire, squinting his eyes, asked the Pink
Uni, "Are you Rose?"
"Oh, no," said the Uni with a tinkly laugh.
"I'm Lily. Rose is my sister."
No wonder Lily looked exactly like Rose. I stopped
backing away, and with a sigh of relief, walked up to the desk. We had to fill
in a form, and then we were on our way to creating a Neopet. We walked through
some double doors, to emerge in a spotlessly white corridor that somehow reminded
me of a hospital. We walked down the corridor, walked through a doorway, and
emerged in a huge dome. The ceiling was so high that ten Rock Beasts could have
stood on each other's shoulders and only just barely touched it. The top of
the dome was made of a clear transparent material, which I took to be glass
or crystal, and the rest of the dome was made of what looked vaguely like stainless
steel. But the most incredible thing about the dome was that is was filled with
endless rows of shelves, arranged in neat rows. Millions and millions of eggs,
each about half the size of an ordinary Bruce, filled those shelves, and Bluefire
stood still for a moment trying to take in the colossal size of the place. All
of the eggs sat in shallow depressions carved into the shelves, some cushioned
by nests, other by pools of water. Still other were lying in depressions filled
with fire, and others were just sitting with no cushioning at all. Together,
Bluefire and I toured the shelves, with Lily patiently leading the way.
"So," Lily said brightly. "What species were
you planning on?"
Bluefire and I looked at each other with looks
of horror. We hadn't even planned on the species yet! We quickly walked a short
distance away from Lily for a hurried discussion.
"What species are we going to have?" I hissed.
"I dunno! This was you idea!"
"What about a Scorchio?"
"Two Scorchios in a single NeoHome? I don't
think so."
"A Poogle?"
"Nah, limited edition."
"What about a Shoyru?"
"Too Shoyruish."
"What kind of answer is that? Fine then, how
about a Zafara?"
"Hmmm. Sure, why not?"
"Great!" I exclaimed, which was hard to do when
whispering. "I've always liked Zafaras!"
"You have?" said Bluefire, staring at me accusingly.
"More than Scorchios?"
"Umm, well, uh, you know, it's really hard to
decide and all-" I broke off in mid-sentence and quickly hurried away back to
Lily. Bluefire followed, looking as if he would have liked to incinerate me
there and then.
"We've decided on a Zafara," I said to Lily,
resisting the urge to look over my shoulder and see if Bluefire was about to
torch me.
"That's nice. Good choice," Lily said brightly.
Somehow I had the feeling that she said that to everybody once they chose a
Neopet species. She led us to a set of shelves, marked with a large sign that
read 'ZAFARA'. I stood on my toes, and picked an egg off the shelf. The egg
had patches of dark blue adorning the light blue background. The patches in
themselves were strange, seeming to swirl before you eyes as if they were alive.
The others eggs were just plain solid colours, blue, green, yellow or red. I
held the egg out for Bluefire to inspect it, and he declared it a male, after
nodding in approval. Once we informed Lily of our choice, she led us to yet
another room, much smaller than the dome. It was spotlessly white, with a table
placed in the middle of the room. Lily placed a strange device on the stainless
steel table, and began plugging in wires here and there. The device looked rather
like an eggcup, and with then I realised what it was. It was an incubator! I
whispered this information to Bluefire, only to be whacked on the back of the
head and told that I was a doofus for not realising it sooner. Lily finished
setting the incubator up, and placed the egg inside the depression. I stood
rubbing the back of my head ruefully, as I watched cracks slowly spread across
the surface of the egg. Suddenly, a hole erupted, and a cute a little head poked
out. The cute little head of a…LUPE??? I stepped back, and for the second time
that day, Bluefire almost fell over with surprise. Lily, however, fainted. The
Lupe head snuffled, and the rest of the egg fell apart, revealing the body of
a Zafara. The Lupe/Zafara started dancing, waving its arms and kicking its feet
in the air wildly. Its tail swept the table, swishing here and there and everywhere.
The Lupe/Zafara started singing, "Come on, every pet do the Doglefox! Every
pet do the Doglefox yeah! Da da da da de yeah! Every pet do the Doglefox!"
Abruptly, it leapt off the table, skidding along
the ground on its knees. It stopped sliding, and stood up, taking an elegant
bow, saying, "Thank you, thank you very much!" in a voice that sounded strangely
like Elvis Presley. And strangest of all, its head suddenly went BOOOOM!! I
turned away and covered my head, but after a few seconds, I felt no flame, heat
or any pain whatsoever. I considered the possibility that I had died and not
noticed, but when I turned around, I saw a perfectly normal Zafara rolling on
the floor laughing. Bluefire was laughing as well, holding his sides as if he
would burst. I bent down, and scooped up a handful of debris. They were pieces
of plastic, sure enough. I fitted together two of the plastic bits, and found
myself holding a Lupe ear. It was a part of a plastic Lupe Mask! I picked up
more and more of the plastic lying on the floor, finding a bit of nose here,
a bit of snout there. I shook my head sadly, and watched on as Bluefire and
that strange Zafara rolled on the floor laughing. But later I replayed the scene
in my mind and couldn't help having a quiet laugh. After Lily regained consciousness,
we were escorted from the building, with Lily saying something about taking
the rest of the day off. We were halfway home, when Bluefire realised something.
"Hey, you haven't given the Zafara a name yet!"
he cried.
Without a second thought, with the memories
of his antics at the Creation Centre still fresh in my mind, I named that strange
Zafara Chaotic_Paradox.
***
We arrived home, and Chaotic_Paradox was given the grand tour. Bluefire immediately
assigned him a room, and insisted that we go out and buy furniture that very
minute. With a sigh, I was pulled out the door by a very determined Scorchio,
accompanied by a Zafara who insisted on screaming "Wubba wubba wubba!" every
time he turned left. We finally arrived at the furniture store many Wubbas later,
and entered. We walked up and down the aisles in an orderly fashion (okay, so
we dashed around everywhere like a kid in a candy store who had a hyperactivity
disorder) and we eventually stopped in front a Zen furniture display. Chaotic_Paradox,
or Chaos, as Bluefire and I were calling him by now, started jumping up and
down on the Zen Bed, quacking loudly. "Me want Zen! Me want Zen! Me want Zen!"
he chorused.
"And just why should I buy this Zen furniture
for you?" I asked wearily.
Chaos calmly replied, "The proven calming effects
of Zen has been seen to counteract hyperactive behaviour, as well as erratic
tendencies. Zen has also been found to benefit psychologically unstable persons.
Therefore, the purchase of this Zen furniture would be mutually beneficial to
both of our persons physically, emotionally, and mentally."
I looked a little astonished at this sudden
burst of logic from Chaos, and stood there dumbfounded.
"He says buy him the furniture so he'll stop
acting like a Lupe who's had too many liquor-filled Lupe treats," Bluefire whispered
to me.
"I know that! I'm just a little surprised that
he actually said something that made sense for once," I said grumpily.
"Sure you did," Bluefire replied sarcastically.
"And Snorkles fly!"
"Well, actually Snorkles came out in Faerie
colour last week, and they came with wings, so they would be able to fly."
A surprised 'Oh' was all Bluefire could manage.
I turned back to Chaos, who was waiting expectantly, and said, "Sure, you win.
You can have your Zen Furniture."
Chaos jumped around in joy as I ordered the
furniture, and after the Eyrie Shop keeper told Chaos that he would be banned
from the shop if he kept up his current behaviour, we left in a hurry.
We were a mere few minutes away from the furniture
shop and on the way home, when Chaos tugged at my arm. "I want chocolate!" he
screamed, pointing at the Chocolate factory.
"Not now," I said. "We're just a few minutes
away from home. We've got plenty of chocolate there."
"ME WANT CHOCOLATE NOW!" Chaos threw himself
onto the ground outside the door of the Chocolate factory and began wailing
and screaming, flailing his limbs as he did so. A small crowd of onlookers began
to gather, and I could have sworn I heard someone say "Peophin Propriety of
Detention of Mulety to Cheek-o-nets." Or they could have been saying "Neopian
Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Neopets." I'm not really sure, but I think
it was the former.
"All right, all right," I said exasperatedly.
"We'll get your chocolate." I pulled Chaos off the floor and he dragged me into
the Chocolate Factory, Bluefire following behind at a leisurely pace.
"What chocolate do you want?" I asked wearily.
"I don't want any."
"What?!?" My eyes practically popped out of
my head. "Why on earth not? Especially after all that fuss!"
"Because you gave in to my demands to quickly.
That was a shamefully bad display of parenting. Or in this case, ownership.
Think of what impact this occasion could have on my future. I might become an
arrogant, self-centred, greedy, selfish, spoiled Neopet. Shame on you."
I rolled my eyes and dragged Chaos off back
home. Bluefire followed, sucking on his newly-purchased Lollypop.
***
That night, Chaos laid in my Oak Bed, ready to go to sleep. Since his Zen
furniture was due to be delivered tomorrow morning, I was forced to sleep on
the couch while Chaos took my bedroom for his own. "Hey, you," he said sleepily.
"What now?"
"We never settled one last question--what am
I supposed to call you?"
"Well, definitely not Dad."
"I wasn't intending to. What about a combination
of letters and numbers, you know, your initials. What about B1?"
"No thanks. 'Bananas in Pyjamas" fans will keep
bugging asking me where B2 is."
"What about B0?"
"No way. People will think it stands for body
odour."
"B4?"
"Nope. Everyone will always ask me if I have
a brother named Later."
"Then what do I call you?"
"Just call me Bluey."
The End
Note: If you're wondering just how Chaos managed to obtain a Lupe mask while
he was still in his egg, don't ask me. Ask Chaos instead. But he'll probably end
up shouting, "Wubba wubba wubba!" |
