TERROR MOUNTAIN - December is finally here! That means the Advent
Calendar is open and nobody likes free stuff as much as I do. I have
been known to actually break down and weep uncontrollably just because the Tombola
Man tacked up a sign that read, "Closed. Be back in a hour." Freebies are great.
I'm all for freebies. But there is a lot more to Terror
Mountain than hauling off a free Deluxe Candycane or a Squeaky Rubber
Bruce Toy.
I haven't a clue who named Terror Mountain when they were designing different
worlds for Neopia. All I know is I have searched all over that mountain and
haven't found anything that would send shivers up my spine, except for maybe
a sneak random snowball attack that leaves the back of my neck cold and wet.
Terror Mountain really should be called Ice Mountain, or Christmas Mountain
or maybe even Why-the-heck-doesn't-the-snow-ever-melt-here-even-in-July Mountain.
Because this place is way too cool (literally) to be called "Terror" Mountain.
So, if you haven't really checked this place out, I am prepared to be your
Official Terror Mountain tour guide. I thought I would get paid for doing this,
so that's why I took the job. But I'm getting zip for this, which is only fair
because I'm not really qualified anyway.
First stop on the tour: Happy Valley
Okay, everyone off of the bus! No shoving! And form an orderly line. First
one to break ranks and run off to the Advent Calendar before I have made my
speech gets their Abominable Snowball eaten by the Turmaculus!
Happy Valley was named Happy Valley because Adam Valley and Donna Happy couldn't
agree on a name for it. So they flipped a coin and the Ice Devil stole it. So
they said, "What the heck," and named it after both of them. Are these the right
cue cards?
Our first stop in Happy Valley... NO FLASH CAMERAS while I'm talking, please!
Our first stop is "GAMES". You have two choices here. Grundo Snowthrow is a
medium difficulty game. You can lob snowballs at marauding snowbeasts for fun
and profit. Or you can play Snow Wars, which is a hard difficulty game, similar
to Battleship. You have to pay 100 Neopoints to play, but you can win rare Snowball
Battledome weapons and a trophy! If you're a trophy-hound like me, then you
won't mind the fact that you may actually lose Neopoints trying to get up to
the 10th level, not to mention the fact you get to see a cool opponent that
looks like a snowball with octopus arms growing out of its head. If you're a
greedy mercenary that only likes games that make you Neopoints, then you'd better
stick to Grundo Snowthrow.
Our next stop in Happy Valley is... refreshments! Aaakkk! No pushing! You'll
all have a chance to buy a Slushie at the Slushie Shop! Ummm... unless they're
sold out first... Everyone line up behind ME! One Coco Whip Slushie, please.
Next, and what tour of any place would be complete without this,
is... SHOPPING! Let's start with the most popular shop on Terror Mountain right
now, Wintery Petpets. Here is the place where you can buy a frosty, cold-nosed
little buddy for your pet. Like a... Christmas tree-type thingy... or a green
reindeer-type thingy... or a candycane-stripe elf-type thingy. Why are you rolling
your eyes at me? How should I know what they're called? I've never been in the
place when it wasn't sold out, so give me a break here, okay?
Anyway, you can also visit the Merry Outfit Shop, which isn't really a shop
technically because you can't buy anything there. But you can go window-shopping,
so to speak. Every kind of pet that you can currently paint with a Christmas
Paint Brush is there. Right now there are twenty-six different pets that can
be painted. They all have a wonderfully wintery, Christmassy look except for
the Pteri... which looks like a... ummm... robin... which seems more like a
symbol for spring... but what do I know? I mean, I can't remember "When the
Red Red Robin Goes Bob Bob Bobbing Along" making the top-ten all time favourite
Christmas songs list, but I could be wrong...
Now that you have done some shopping, it's time to pop over to Christmas Gift
Tags. There are ten different Christmas gift tags, (no kidding, Stoneman, DUH!)
that you can print out and use! And I know this isn't TECHNICALLY on Terror
Mountain, but if you click on your name in the yellow side bar and go to your
User Look-up and click on "Wish List" it will take you to the Merchandise Catalogue.
If you want, you can pick out a bunch of cool Neopets stuff that OTHERS can
give you for Christmas and use those nifty gift tags on. I like going there
just because the Christmas Scorchio says, "I know who's been naughty and who's
been nice" and keeps telling me that I've been naughty. Is he clairvoyant or
what?
Okay, now it's time for our last stop in Happy Valley, the Advent Calen--HEY! Come back here! Nobody leaves until I finish reading these cue cards! Ya
wanna get me in trouble? I could lose my air-paying job! Fine. Be that way.
I'll just finish this speech by talking to myself. The Advent Calendar is only
open in December. Starting on December 1st, you can go once a day for FREE stuff.
This is my first December in Neopets, but as far as I have seen, the Advent
Calendar gives out, usually, a few Neopoints, a Christmassy food item and another
cool item. The other cool item can be anything from a Wintery Petpet to a Battledome
item to something for your NeoHome. Fire Faeries were given out on December
3rd! And if that isn't enough to make you go everyday, there is a cool video
to watch too. This also changes everyday. My favourite one so far was when the
Lupe tweaked a snowman's nose, not realising it was a Chia. He got slammed in
the back of the head with a snowball. And you wonder why there is a little ongoing
war between Lupes and Chias...
Okay, everyone have their free Advent Calendar stuff? Great! NOW BACK ON THE
BUS! Next we are going to visit the Ice Caves. As we all pile onto the tour
bus, please remember, NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY inside the Snowager's Cave! Not unless
you want to BE lunch instead of stop for lunch. And mind your step! If you fall
into the Dark Crevasse you'll tumble all the way to Tyrannia! And that's bad
news since we're all wearing fleece-lined Parkas here and aren't exactly dressed
for tap-dancing on the rim of a volcano.
Next stop on the tour: Ice Caves
The first sight we shall be ummm... sight-seeing... is the Ice Caves Puzzle
Game. In this game you have to help Garon the Lupe escape from a very confusing
maze. It's even more confusing and harder to navigate than the Role Playing
Chat Board. The idea is to collect keys to get through doors (which is kind
of important if you want to get anywhere) and snatch up treasure chests and
gems in order to get Neopoints. Oh, and did I mention that you have to do this
while dodging snowballs? If this doesn't train you for weekend Christmas shopping,
nothing will.
And speaking of shopping... (you can't enjoy a real tour without buying souvenirs,
right?) the first stop on our shopping spree is a shop that is actually run
by a faerie. The Negg Faerie, to be exact, who for some odd reason looks kind
of like the Earth Faerie. Anyway, here in the Neggery you can turn in your ordinary,
run-of-the-mill-can't-do-anything-but-feed-them-to-your-pets Neggs for ordinary,
run-of-the-mill-can-do-cool-stuff-for-your-pets Neggs. Depending on how many
Neggs you turn in and how many points they are worth, you can exchange them
for different Neggs that do everything from make your pet smarter, increase
the strength of your pet or even serve as a Battledome weapon.
And speaking of Battledome weapons... the coolest shop, maybe even the coldest
shop, in the Ice Caves is the Ice Crystal Shop. Here you can buy all kinds of
weapons to give your opponents a cold shoulder, or a cold nose or a cold anywhere
else you happen to hit them. Ummm... but I'd stay away from the Dirty Snow if
I were you, at least until you get a straight answer on how it got dirty...
Anyway, there are a lot of cool weapons here to help you win.
And speaking of winning... we can't leave until we... well... I, anyway...
pop in and buy a scratchcard at the Scratchcard Kiosk. For 600 Neopoints you
can buy a scratchcard that could win you thousands, even hundreds of thousands
of Neopoints. All you have to do is scratch six out of the nine circles and
if three of them match--you win whatever that prize is! The most common scratchcards
are the Race to Riches and Terror Trove Scratchcards. These are followed by
the not-so-common Faeries Fortune, the elusive Peak O Plenty and the ridiculously
rare Icetravaganza. Nail one of these babies and if you're too chicken to scratch
it, you could always sell it for almost 100,000 Neopoints in your shop!
Not in the mood for shopping? Want more free stuff instead? You could try
popping in on the Snowager--Wait! Come back here! I need to tell you someth--got blasted, huh? Next time you'll wait until I finish reading my cue-card speech,
won't ya? Most of the time the Snowager is awake, but when he is asleep you
can try sneaking in and stealing something. Which kind of raises a moral issue,
but since the Snowager stole all of that stuff in the first place, is it really
stealing if you steal a stolen item? Anyway, one of three things will happen
if you go in while he's asleep. Either you get absolutely nothing, a complete
frosting by his icy breath or a free item. Definitely worth the chance if you
ask me. The free item you get can be something as simple as a keyring or really
great like a Negg, a scratchcard or a Battledome weapon. Even if your pets get
blasted, you can always take them to the Healing Springs in Faerieland and beg
the Healing Faerie for mercy.
And for those of you who just got blasted by the Snowager and thirst for revenge,
our last stop in the Ice Caves section of Terror Mountain is the Ice Arena.
And no, this isn't where all the Bruces play hockey. This is the Terror Mountain
Battledome.
Now that we're finished here, it's time to go to the top of Terror Mountain.
Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Aww man! Do we have to go there? My ears
always pop when I go up there!" and "Why is an Abominable Snowball a Spooky
Petpet, anyway?" Well, my answer is... JUST GET BACK ON THE BUS!
Last stop on the tour: Top of the Mountain
So, here we are! Is the view lovely from up here or what? And there's no better
place to really enjoy the view than from the inside of the Terror Mountain Ski
Lodge. Terror Mountain's most famous landmark, the lodge was once owned by...
is still owned by... ummm... well, just check out the tapestries on the walls,
that's all I'm going to say. Anyway, a couple of murders took place here...
HOLD ON! Don't panic! The chalk marks have all been cleaned up now. The mystery
is over now and the case has been solved, but you can still pop into the Ski
Lodge and see what you missed. For those of you... okay, those of US that are
morbidly curious anyway.
Okay, I guess maybe this is a good time to break for lunch. Hey! No stampeding
guys! Sheesh! At least let me finish my speech first! Where was I? Ummm... lovely
view, Ski Lodge, murders... ah, yes! The place to go for a great meal of a Crystal
Burger or a Crystal Taco is the Happy Icy Fun Snow Shop. Of course, if your
dentures aren't quite up to the task, you could buy a nice Chia Pop or a Snow
Puff instead, ya wimp!
Everyone done eating now? Great! Ummm... you have some Crystal Cookie crumbs
on your jacket, ma'am. Yeah, just brush them off. No, you won't be fined for
littering. I don't think... Anyway, the next great thing we get to do on our
tour of the Top of the Mountain is a visit to another faerie. Terror Mountain
is just loaded with them, huh? But this faerie isn't selling Neggs or anything.
It's the Snow Faerie and if you complete one of her quests, she'll reward you
with Neopoints and a cool Battledome weapon or something else. Her quests are
usually for chocolate or candy or stuff like that and can be kind of expensive,
but the items she gives out can really be worth it if you're lucky.
And now for... MORE SHOPPING! There sure are a lot of shops here on Terror
Mountain. But there is no other shop like this one in all of Neopia. It's the
Igloo Garage Sale. Run by two Chias named Mika and Carassa, there is no haggling
in this shop. But you can get some incredible bargains here if you know the
going prices of things. I once saw Codestones here for 300 Neopoints apiece!
Of course, there are also incredible rip-offs. Who in their right mind would
buy a Bottle of Black Sand for a couple of hundred Neopoints? But every kind
of imaginable item can pop up here, so make sure you load up your wallet with
Neopoints before you come!
Our last stop on the Top of the Mountain is a game. In my humble opinion,
this is the best Neopoint-making game in Neopia. It's Cliffhanger, which is
exactly like playing Hang Man, but only on the edge of a tall mountain with
a long drop. You can earn up to 1500 Neopoints a day playing this game and it
only costs 15 Neopoints to play. The best part is that you often get cool random
events playing this game, like plucking an Ice Negg from a nearby bush. Of course
you could also get a visit from the Ice Devil who will steal an item from you.
But these kinds of random events not only occur during Cliffhanger, but all
over Terror Mountain, so anywhere you go you could find a Christmas Paint Brush
or get smacked by a random snowball attack. It just makes Terror Mountain all
the more exciting.
Well, this is the end of our Official Terror Mountain Tour. I hope I gave
you a lot of good tips. Ummm... your tour guide could use a couple of good tips
too. Hint hint... | 
